how to survive a love triangle with a vamp and a werewolf pls I'm begging
According to the Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Paranormal Edition:
HOW TO SURVIVE A LOVE TRIANGLE WITH A WEREWOLF AND A VAMPIRE
1. Juggle.
Use a calendar to block off the best times to be with each creature according to its own infernal cycles. Plan dates with the werewolf for nights with a waning moon so that he’s not preoccupied with the physical challenges of transformation; with the vampire, schedule time together on nights with a fuller moon and for just after he has recently feasted, when he will be sated and more ready to engage in other activities.
2. Take your time.
Both partners enjoy eternal life, so don’t feel rushed to make up your mind for their sakes.
3. Be honest.
When either relationship becomes serious, inform each creature that you are involved with the other and make clear the priority in which you hold the relationship.
4. Avoid scenes.
Both werewolves and vampires possess ferocious animal instincts and are quick to anger. Try not to let them encounter the other, especially in your presence.
5. Find a nice human boy.
Break up with both monsters. Move to a new town and pray for your own safety and that of your new beau.
What else would you like to learn?
