So, every once in awhile those au prompts will float around and I’ll see one that sparks my interest. Usually I write something and then it’s done cause there’re already so many aus, but I still really like this one.
Characters in question are Human!Verse Mertisa and Dashlan. Tisa belonging to me, and Dash to dogslug
"this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a huge fucking spider in my bathtub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au
On the list of “Things You Can Do To Impress Your Hot Hallway Neighbor”, pounding on his door at 4 in the fucking morning had to rate somewhere in the negative two thousands. Yet, there she was. In ancient, pink cotton shorts and a black sports bra, hammering on the door of the guy she’d had a crush on for 3 months’ door like it was her only option for survival.
In a way, it was.
When Tisa’s brain finally caught up enough to realize ‘this is the worst fucking idea we’ve ever had and that includes making out with Tommy Edwards at camp in eight grade’, she stopped. Utterly horrified. How long had she been there? How had this seemed like a good idea? Oh god she had to run.
But before she could scramble away, back to her arachnid infested apartment, the door jerked opened. There, staring right at her, was the groggy face of an angel; swathed in gorgeously curled hair that stuck out at all angles. Bedhead at its finest.
And she was just staring at him.
Silence stretched painfully as sheer panic welled inside Mertisa’s chest. Somehow, she was unable to move or speak. It was like she was staring at a male Medusa that turned her to stone.
“It’s 4 a.m.” He groused, running a hand through his hair. Magically the spell was broken.
“I uh,” oh god oh god oh god. “Um. This- this was a mistake. I should probably go.” Mertisa’s voice crept up a few octaves in her horror, yet somehow still managed to be a lot quieter than her fists had been moments ago.
“You woke me up at 4 a.m. To tell me that you made a mistake and you have to go.” He repeated in a dull monotone. Well when he said it like that, she could hardly believe she’d said it either.
“Uh. Heh. Well y’see. Thing is-” Oh god he was staring at her like she was a total freak. In all honesty, she totally was. Banging on your neighbor’s door at 4 am because you saw an enormous spider in your tub was not something that normal people did. “There’s-” Finally Mertisa cleared her throat. “There’sahugespiderinmybathtubandit’sreallybigandharierthanmyUncleSalcouldyoupleasecomehelpme?” The words all ran together and after she was done she just stared at him. It wasn’t like this could get any worse.
Hot guy (D something, like Dan but she’d totally be interested in seeing his ‘D’ as it was) squinted at her as his sleep riddled mind tried to catch up. Then he shut the door.
Mertisa whined softly, knowing she deserved that. No, really she deserved much worse. How had she thought that was a good idea?
Slowly, she turned back towards her apartment. She’d taken a few steps and the door behind her unlocked. To her utter surprise, Hottie McHotterson stepped out of his apartment and into the hall. He was wearing flannel pants and had, in his hands, a cup and a sheet of paper. Had he not been wearing pants before?
Seven minutes and a bunch of hushed whispering later, Hot Neighbor Guy turned around, looking very confused.
“It’s just a clump of hair.”
Mertisa stared at him for what felt like forever while a small black hole opened inside her chest and sucked everything inside of it out into the great beyond.
“It’s hair?”
“Yeah.”
Slowly, she emerged from the other side of the door frame and moved into the small bathroom. Tisa stared at the yellowed tub (hey, the thing was old and no amount of scrubbing could turn it white, she’d tried) and the ‘spider’ also known as a clump of her hair.
Clearing her throat, Tisa turned and walked out of the bathroom. “So… I really... “ A laugh bubbled in her chest and she cleared her throat, trying to keep it down. But it was so late and she’d been so freaked out and it turned out to be nothing but her hair and she’d now made a huge fool of herself in front of the guy she was totally crushing on. Laughing like an utter maniac wasn’t going to hurt things anymore than they were now.
Mertisa clutched her stomach as she giggled helplessly, holding up a hand and wheezing. “I’m s-so sorry! I’m so sorry, I- HA! Oh my god. Oooh my god. I swear, I’m not crazy.”
The giggles passed as quickly as they came and Tisa stood upright, shaking her head. “Look. I’m really sorry. Do you want some coffee or something? Or… going back to bed would be fine, but I feel like I owe you something for making you do all that and having it be hair…”
