#dasvidanice

[kobutaa]

[text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.

texts from last night  ▒ ( accepting. )

( ✉ → ヴィクトル ) was it a good pie?

( ✉ → ヴィクトル ) and, is there any left? i haven’t had a pie in ages

( ✉ → ヴィクトル ) i’m so tired of eating cup noodles ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

[kobutaa]

[text] Because when you say ‘You shouldn’t drink anymore’, i hears, ‘I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’

texts from last night ▒ ( accepting. )

( ✉ → ヴィクトル ) viktor, i’m /serious/

( ✉ → ヴィクトル ) if you keep going out and getting plastered something really bad might happen

( ✉ → ヴィクトル ) what if you get alcohol poisoning or someone takes advantage of you?? what if i’m not there to stop it???

[kobutaa]

[text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship.

texts from last night  ▒ ( accepting. ) 

( ✉ → ヴィクトル ) god do i feel it.

( ✉ → ヴィクトル ) need hangover medicine? i have a full bottle of pills

( ✉ → ヴィクトル ) i can drop some off for you if you want. coffee, too^^

[kobutaa]

[text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him.

texts from last night  ▒ ( accepting. )

( ✉ → ビクター ) oh.

( ✉ → ビクター ) wait, are we talking about the guy that you met at the bar last night?

( ✉ → ビクター ) and also, do you mean keeping in like, the DATING sense???

( ✉ → ビクター ) because, if you do, i heard he’s not very faithful, and i just want you to be careful

( ✉ → ビクター ) i don’t want you to get hurt and i get he’s probably great in bed but please watch out

( ✉ → ビクター ) and don’t forget to use protection

[kobutaa]

[text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…

texts from last night  ▒ ( accepting. )

( ✉ → ビクター ) um yikes?

( ✉ → ビクター ) viktor i think you should be careful about always going out to parties

( ✉ → ビクター ) especially when it’s in the next town over.

( ✉ → ビクター ) what if you need help and i can’t get there in time?;;

( ✉ → ビクター ) people can be real creeps, viktor. please watch out

[kobutaa]

[text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

texts from last night  ▒ ( accepting. )

( ✉ → ビクター ) i am sure there is someone around you more than willing to comply

( ✉ → ビクター ) maybe right under your nose even

( ✉ → ビクター ) but uh good luck with finding them. also

( ✉ → ビクター ) did you finish the assignment for yakov’s class?

[kobutaa]

[text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

texts from last night  ▒ ( accepting. )

( ✉ → ビクター ) viktor, i don’t think that’s very healthy behavior to keep up with...

( ✉ → ビクター ) you can always come to me when you’re feeling bad. 

( ✉ → ビクター ) you know i’m always here for you.

( ✉ → ビクター ) i’m worried about you

[kobutaa]

❛ you’re my home, and i’m homesick. ❜

lovely suggestions ▒ ( i really like these so please send more. )

already he had been on the verge of crying, affected by viktor’s saccharine words drifting through the receiver--so warm and tender that a part of yuuri can pretend he’s here, imagine that the pillow he’s laying against is the warm expanse of viktor’s chest, and that the weight of the blanket around his waist is really viktor’s arms around him. 

but this--this is too much. breaks the illusion yuuri had created, and snaps him back to the harsh reality of the moment. viktor isn’t here, had turned down his offer to stay for the holiday season for reasons yuuri can’t understand. suddenly the blanket around him and the pillow he’s lying against seem so petty, and fall so short of what he needs.

nothing can amount to viktor nikiforov.

it feels like a slap to the face--a mockery, almost. he doesn’t get it. what gives viktor the right to be saying such things, honeyed and sweet on the outside, but biting in essence, acting like he truly misses yuuri, when he’s the one who left?

“ that’s not fair. that’s really not fair– ” he hiccups, feels tears stream down his face, and tries not to imagine how pathetic he sounds as he succumbs to his emotion. he feels petulant, knows there must be a completely valid reason for why viktor is gone, that he should be trying as hard as possible to understand, but it doesn’t stop the torrent of words.

“ you can’t say stuff like that when–when you’re the one who left. ” and he must sound like an entitled, greedy child. he knows, in his heart, that viktor must have a reason–but that doesn’t make it hurt any less, and that doesn’t make him want to forgive viktor any more. 

“ i h-- i hate you-- ” it’s a lie, god is it a lie. yuuri has never said anything more untrue in his life, and yet--as the tears fall heavy onto his sheets, and he struggles to breathe through the sobs and hiccups, he thinks, maybe--it might also be the truest thing he’s ever said.