#dating rant

[prettyprettyswan]

It's so funny that when I was younger I was always craving love; I always dreamed about being in a relationship with someone and the intimacy one shares with their partner.

But as I get older, the few times I have gone on dates with people, I always start feeling this dread in my stomach, and during the date I sometimes do have fun, but once it ends, I just want to die, cry, or throw up.

In my mind I start reliving the date; I start to notice little things that they did that made me feel uncomfortable or little comments that they made. I start to hate them, and then I wish and pray to never see them again.

I never really understood why this always happens to me; maybe I am not meant to be in a relationship with anyone other than myself. Because if I can't even handle myself, then who am I supposed to rely on? I am so scared to be vulnerable with anyone other than myself.

[plathspersona]

Ever since I've begun to step away from social media (less doomscrolling, less brain rot, more physical and intentional media) I've noticed that the perception people have of dating is way more anxious based than I thought. I am more of an avoidant myself (women in male fields etc), so it could also be linked to that, but not texting 24/7 is okay, not texting after a first date isn't ghosting, not texting for a few days isn't ghosting either, people have lives outside their phones ? The argument of "it takes 2 minutes to text back" usually ignores the reality that while it does take only 2 minutes, it usually snowballs into a conversation that keeps going until forever (or someone says goodbye). I don't want people to have access to me 24/7, not because I am busy all the time, not because I don't like them, but because I like to be on my own! Texting others all the time give a false sense of intimacy, and intimacy should be earned, with time and trust not taken for granted as a sign of care.

[katiepurrpurr]

Why is dating nowadays so difficult?

You find someone you like talking to every day, try to meet, but with kids, work, or other stuff going on, I get it and try to make things work.

Then it slowly stops or you maybe get a few words out of them. You don't want to be too forward or seem like your clingy so you give it a few hours.

Nothing.

Then a few hours more you figured you'll wait until tomorrow and hope they reply.

Nothing.

But when they do, they give you enough to make you wait another day for another reply, until they just stop replying altogether.

Then you overthink and wonder, "What did I do wrong?" In your mind, you go over every conversation and try to thing if something you said or did cause them to not be interested in you.

After awhile you become numb and then try again with the next one.

Why is it that we pour our souls into people thinking they want to know us and meet us, giving us the expectation that it will and then it doesn't?

The more and more it happens, there's a tiny piece of you that sort of dies instead and makes you more numb, more unwilling to put yourself out there, more accepting of the fact that your pretty much going to die alone.

Can we please normalize conversations where if you aren't interested in someone, that we tell them instead of ghosting or ignoring them?

I honestly would rather be told that they aren't interested or are pursuing someone. I can respect someone for being honest with me.

[uhhhliyahhh]

men are cancelled. had the worst date last night 😭 why do they think I owe them something after going out to dinner once???

almost put myself in a situation where he could take advantage of me because he wasn’t taking no for an answer 😩 I hate it here

need someone to come save me from this BS

[sweetdevilvoice]

Bro, I think I am not meant to be with someone for real, like the one person I actually like hardly respond to my text, or they don't text or call.

I get in my head a lot, so it feels terrible

But I also understand that they are busy with work and stuff..

[brainjuicey]

all the indie guys are bassists why the fuck are they always bassists and therefore ugly by default. i want a drummer boyfriend next. i bet they fuck

[readwritelive]

why do men make conversations go stale so fucking quick

like it starts out great and then after like an hour

one word replies and boring chat

guys seriously

STEP IT THE FUCK UP AND SOUND ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN THE PERSON YOURE TALKING TO

EVERY GIRL IVE TALKED TO WE HAVE LEGIT TALKED FOR HOURS

LADS SORT IT OUT