A potential hookup asked me to join FetLife so that I can vet his interests to see if we're compatible.
I got to the second blank on the sign up form and I'm already stumped.
Hypothetically I know it most of these terms mean, but wow there are people operating at a level of sexuality I can't even comprehend. Think of me as a colorblind little fish trying to enter a shrimp aquarium.
Gwen’s note: general relationship headcanon prompt for Tora/Masa requested by @crimsonspiderlilyy💗
🐅𝒯𝑜𝓇𝒶𝒿𝒾𝓇𝑜🍰
--being in a relationship with Tora would include watching the Food Channel every.single.night. whatever cooking or baking competition is on, Tora will make you watch it with him. you can both be heard screaming at the TV when the person you were rooting for gets cheated
--I can see Tora being someone who uses physical touch to show affection. likes to lightly put a hand on your arm or waist as a greeting or just in moments of silence, a way to ground himself and calm down when he’s pissed. deep down, Tora really craves physical contact, so he’s glad you allow him to be close to you
--BAKING DATES! whatever new dessert or goodie you want to try, he’s all for it. will dive deep into his Pinterest boards for kawaii new treats you might like, bunny marshmallows, Pokémon macrons, puppy print cookies, whatever suits your fancy, and he won’t let you eat it until it’s perfect
-working out together. Tora obviously is in good shape, and yeah, sometimes he has to drag you out of bed in the mornings to get to the gym before the weight lifting machines get all germy, but in the end you don’t mind, bcz it gives you a front row seat of those delicious muscles👅
--has an extensive skincare routine you wouldn’t believe, will explain each process like he’s a youtuber or something. definitely educates you on what products work best, taking you on little shopping sprees to get the best lotion and toner he insists you need
--the man LOVES coffee and insists on making it himself, bcz why waste money buying $7 cups of coffee every day, so after you observe Tora’s delicate process of coffee making for a few weeks, you begin making it for him in the mornings before he wakes up. Torajiro loves waking up to the smell of coffee, and always gives you a big kiss whenever you do this little, but meaningful thing for him
--Tora is a big dude, takes up a lot of space on your shared mattress, so he tries to lie very still at night as to not wake you. you, on the other hand, move all over the place, legs thrown over his, arms sliding this way and that, drooling on both pillows...as long as your tossing and turning ends with you two cuddled up, though, Tora doesn’t mind
--my big man isn’t used to really going out on the town anymore; he hasn’t done that since before jail time, but finds it fun when you’re there with him. you guys just go on walks, mostly, stopping at little stands along the way, looking up at the moon in the darkness....then he’ll run into Tatsu and well, obviously they HAVE to yell at each other while you and Miku watch
--overall, Tora is a very loyal partner, and whatever new activity or new job you want to try, he’ll be there for support
🐕ℳ𝒶𝓈𝒶🥡
--being in a relationship with Masa would include lots of tom foolery😂 always pissing the wrong people off, skipping out on the bill, burning dinner, clogging up the sink, etc. etc. But in a fun way!
--Masa tries really hard to stop screwing up so badly. he’s gotten better at keeping a job for longer than three days, but when he gets fired again, he always tells you right away, bcz he knows you won’t get mad like Tatsu. instead, you buy him some shitty ramen, a couple bottles of booze and kiss him to make it all better
--gaming sessions! nothing with an actual plot, cuz Masa can’t follow🤣 simple things, like Mario Cart, punching games, racing, shooting things...gaming is one thing Masa is pretty good at, so you two have lots of fun, lazy Saturdays competing against each other, cuddling and stuffing yourselves with snacks. if you beat him, he’ll brush it off as luck or says he “let” you win, but he’s actually secretly proud of your skills
--Masa can hold his booze better than his friends, but not as well as you~ when you have the funds, you two go out to a cheap food joint and get munchies with alcohol; you throw them back as quickly as Masa pours, then things get competitive: eight shots later, Masa is ready to hurl, and you’re still steady enough to help him to the restroom. he “let you win” though
--lets you wear his hoodies, tshirts, whatever. when they’re remotely clean, ofc. Masa wears really comfortable clothes, and you’re guilty of sneaking his shirts and jackets on a daily basis, but Masa doesn’t mind, because he thinks you look cute. you think it’s cute when he blushes after noticing, too, so everyone wins
--ALWAYS asking if you guys can get a pet!! Masa loves animals, but given his financial situation and general lack of responsibility, well...not such a great idea. you love seeing him light up at the sight of a dog, though, so a few times a month you bring him to a dog park so he can see cute doggos (and later have to prevent him from dognapping them or sneaking them under his shirt)
--I feel like Masa gives good foot massages?? maybe after you’ve had a hard day of being the breadwinner, Masa will make you sit down and rub your feet until all the aches and pains have gone away. man has magic hands
--constantly showing you off to Tatsu, his friends and anyone who will listen, lol. no one expected him to ever get a S/O, so seeing you two together always gives people a shock. then they hear you two laughing at a toilet joke. then everything makes sense
--whines about doing laundry, but if you’re there to help...hmm...can you say flirtatious underwear flinging? haha, Masa is terrible at folding, so you like with a lot of things, you turn it into a game: for every shirt nicely folded, Masa gets a kiss~
The bumble boy asked me what supporting a bi partner would look like and I gave him a heartfelt response and attached the bi wife energy song to the end
Men are wild, asked how the morning was and bro just said chilling and watch the hub. Sir, you did not have to tell me that but thank you for being honest
