Freebooter4Ever

Boots (freebooter). Pirate, masquerading as an artist, masquerading as an adult. 37. she/her. bi. FRIENDLY REMINDER: PLEASE dont post my art to twitter/instagram (the evil). Seattle/Pittsburgh/Los Angeles/NYC

[freebooter4ever]

"how many muses have you had???"

"drawing like this? just one."

:)

[freebooter4ever]

i feel like im dying again \o/

[athleticdefensiveposition]

Look who’s on the cover of GQ in Russia…

He won Sportsman of the Year.

Swagger~

[freebooter4ever]

the sleepless phase of my cycle is starting again without ever really getting the relief of the 'functional' phase because i have been struggling so hard to breathe these last weeks. :( im scared again guys.

[freebooter4ever]

[freebooter4ever]

yay cali <3

[freebooter4ever]

shaking through my skull through my spine and down through my ribs (my unregulated heart)

[freebooter4ever]

california girl at it again

[freebooter4ever]

eric @ la Eyeworks

edit: LOL this was supposed to be saved for my own note taking sorry. old glasses on right vs maybe new glasses?

im so emotionally attached to my beat up 2011 era sunglasses but they a) aren't prescription and b) are so scratched to hell and back and the frame is held together by tape...this might sound superficial but when i show up to doctors appointments wearing my cheap old things i worry the private doctors treat me differently because they know im not necessarily a cash cow.

[freebooter4ever]

ziggy going after the soccer ball with his hockey stick is the cutest thing. gonna invent a new sport here.

[gloriousclio]

Luke Skywalker put away his targeting computer to destroy the Death Star so I don't need AI to help me write an email.

[freebooter4ever]

so yeah im gonna have to train myself back into taking ice cold showers fuck. it's truly an exercise in mental strength convincing myself that i enjoy freezing water.

"you have so much anxiety thats why you aren't sleeping have you tried meditation?"

bitch, have you tried to meditate and keep your body calm for twenty - thirty minutes while taking an ice cold shower when you hate the cold because i can. thats how good i fucking meditate. i promise no amount of meditation will help the sleeping issue.

[freebooter4ever]

on a scale from 1 to 'struggling for ten mins to put underwear on' guess how dysfunctional i am today 🙃

i decided to take a shower and for the first time i wore my watch in to see what was actually happening.... my heart rate didn't increase in hot water??? but then when i slowly switched to ice cold it went way way down to 60s and i felt so good, i could even breathe again. i have long suspected that with certain hormones my heart rate struggles to rise and thus the dizzy/inability to walk. but then when other hormones in my cycle are high (estrogen?) my heart starts being full potsie and it rises exponentially which is why hilariously i feel my most clear headed even while at my worst.

anyway my body continues to be a medical marval / science experiment that makes no sense

[wutheringdyke]

Marilyn Monroe photographed by André de Dienes, 1946.

[freebooter4ever]

for all the hell that i have been through since mid april, it is extremely gratifying to finally reach a doctor's appointment where when i scheduled this (because every new patient doctor has like a two month wait time -_-) i was like 'I guess this will be a nice appointment to have if im still alive by that date'.

people like to tell me im being 'dramatic' but i dont know how to explain that when you hit a level of illness in a matter of days where your body cant eat, poop, walk, sleep or even experience hunger/thirst normally.... you really start to question how much longer you got lol. I genuinely didn't think I would see june.

[book23worm]

(23-08-2016)

[freebooter4ever]

pls dear god let me sleep for a few hours