#datingblows

[xxlovetheheartlessxx]

What's the point in being with someone who makes you feel alone and wonder if your even worth anything?

[starfish1966]

#takemymoney #datingblows #potatochipsaremuchmotrsatisfying

[sparkly70]

That guy. Yes, that one.

This sounds hauntingly familiar....

"In my early 20s I pulled a number of disappearing acts.

I was that guy—the one who’d take you on a few dates, and then text you an hour later telling you that I’d had a great time. I’d answer your calls and reply to your texts, right away.

But then, one day, without warning, I’d vanish, never to be seen again.

This is what I should have told you. Maybe it would have given you some closure and allowed you to move on a little quicker. I know it’s too little too late, but still, you deserve an explanation, so here it is.

Dear Frustrated,

These are the things I wasn’t brave enough to say to you, even in text.

I didn’t lose my phone, or your number or track of time. I can assure you there is no message mysteriously stuck in my outbox, just waiting to be sent. There was no family emergency and I’m not just “working through some stuff” right now. I am not too busy at work, or out of credit and I have good service.

I have made the regrettable, yet conscious decision not to text you anymore.

I have all but convinced myself that being open and honest would only hurt your feelings, even though I know it’s a lie. I know that what I’m doing is not fair, but right now, my fear is stronger than my guilt.

I never set out to hurt you, but suddenly, I can see no other ending to this story.

You aren’t imagining things.

There was a time when things were good, even great. We did connect. I did really like you.

The smiles, the jokes, the moments—they were all real.

But then, something happened that made me realize we’re not quite compatible.

I wish I could tell you that it’s not your fault—that there’s nothing you could have done differently—that the problem really isn’t you.

The problem is that I believe we want different things. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but in my mind, we see the world through different glasses, we speak a different language and we live in different futures.

And while I may be able to make you happy right now, I realize that I won’t be able to make you happy in the long run.

I know you must think I’m an a**hole for what I’m doing—that I’m stonewalling you because I don’t care about your feelings. In truth, I’m simply scared. My emotions make me so uncomfortable, that when I try to express myself, my words get tangled.

I am worried that if I attempt to tell you how I feel, I will accidentally say the wrong thing and offend you. If only I was willing to endure that one, slightly awkward conversation, I’d save you months of frustration.

Instead, I have chosen to withdraw.

I will lock up my feelings, as I always do and pretend they don’t matter. I will ignore my guilt and tell myself, this is for the best.

I know it’s too late, but, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for putting my own emotional welfare ahead of yours.

I’m sorry for dragging you behind me while I try to make my cowardly escape.

I’m sorry for making you feel like you’re going crazy.

And finally, I’m sorry for ever giving you a reason to doubt yourself.

The way I have tried to deal with this situation is proof that you deserve better.

You deserve someone who is willing to say the wrong thing, to have the awkward, necessary conversations.

You deserve someone who isn’t afraid of their emotions, who is willing to be vulnerable and share themselves completely.

More than anything, you deserve to be happy. And while no one person can ever give that to you, you deserve someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to help you find your happiness within.”

********************************************

One day, I will find a person who is this respectful. I keep losing hope that there are people like this. 

I tend to attract people with issues.  I’m a strong, kind, independent person, and somehow people must think I can take it.  But my heart breaks, too.  I have needs, too. 

Now sadly, the guys I know who do this aren’t in their 20s.  They are in their 40s and 50s.  I’m not dumb enough to say “all men”...but come on! 

Pegonator, this reminded me of something you posted last week! 

[mjg1587]

I DO FWD

I'm bummed and I'm back on the bench. And dating sucks. It's been about 3 months and sure that's not a lot of time, but I genuinely thought at least something was there. I feel like you broke up with me, but we weren't even really together and that is EXACTLY what I didn't want to feel. 

We talked for every damn day and I saw you at least once every damn week. Ugh. 

Give me some sort of validity for my feelings since you kinda fucked with them.

**Update : Ok so perhaps I was being quite dramatic. I pull these 'girl' moves every now & then, but it's only because I'm confused & I really like the dude. Day by day. We'll see how it goes. 

[pamcakes002]

Meet Me at Happy Hour

I'm single and ready to mingle! I've also been using that line for the past 5 years. The online dating world (which seems to be the only way to get someone to ask you out these days) is a bitch...and although it becomes disheartening at times, I remain optimistic and hopeful about finding love. I've started this Tumblr as a way to keep track of my ridiculous dating life. I'm a 3/4 time single mom, and employee, and a pharmacy school graduate student so that doesn't leave much left over time for dating. My theory is that an early happy hour is key. It's just the right amount of time to determine whether a connection exists or not, and if it doesn't I can still be exceptional company for the span of an hour and a half (max). I also try to select places where the drinks and food (at happy hour prices) can make up for what could otherwise end up being a gigantic waste of time. See how thoughtful I am? How am I possibly still on the market?! Many people have asked me that same question. Stop asking, it makes me hate you...especially if you're a single guy that I like and you could easily sweep me off my feet and end this torture I call dating (or really if you're anyone at all...) Happy Man Hunting 😘

[aguylikethat]

Him: I need you to know that I don't like where things ended with us. And I feel like the biggest asshole in the world if I caused you any sort of grief. I meant what I said when I said you deserve the very best. It's just that... I spent a year of my life fighting every day to convince somebody that they were special, and worthy, and losing sleep worrying over whether or not they were eating. And I can't do that again. I was so miserable, and bitter, and resentful. And I'm not saying that you're like that at all, but some of the things you were saying threw me back to that, and it just kind of... freaked me out. I just want you to know that I haven't forgotten about you, and I'm sure you understandably have formed some form of disdain for me, but I still think that you're one of the coolest guys I've ever talked to, and I've never met anybody like you before. You deserved a little more explanation than what I left you. I hope you're doing well.

Me: I hope you feel better now.

[spiffanyleighshares]

"Will you tell me what you like, or what you think I want you to like?" "The latter, I'm afraid." "Hmm. Why be honest now and not then?" "Ha! You will have forgotten this conversation by then. Besides, you really want me to like what I'm going to say I like." "I know, I know, but I want the truth more." "Do you? I think you want mental justification for your physical desire. You don't make conversation, you administer a test that you've subconsciously developed to evaluate a girl's worthiness of your precious free time." "It might work if your kind would stop playing games." "I only play along." "Oh, please. And why the hell would you do that?" "Because I have to figure out why the hell guys like you, the guys I'm most attracted to, only want to mess around with female versions of themselves."

Chris Thile, Journals