So I signed up for a dating site. So far things have been going well. I’ve met people that are actually decent human beings but then.... enter this one girl. She’s nice enough, right? She’s willing to put up my random outburts of “oh, I just remembered, I have go, I left” or “I need to go because I forgot I was meeting a friend for-” Next thing I know “I work at - enter coffee shop name-, do you like coffee? I personally don’t, but..” On my end of the conversation though, what I didn’t type but was half tempted to, “PERSON ONLINE. I HAVE AN ANNOUCEMENT FOR YOU. YOU CANNOT BUY MY AFFECTIONS WITH FREE COFFEE BECAUSE YOU WORK THERE. I will, however, take the coffee if you're offering. I won't pass up free coffee made the way I like... That's just cruel. To the coffee.”