Because everyone is sexy strider sexual.
That is the only explanation for any of this.
Yes, this is for you Tia
Once upon a time there was a guy named DAVE STRIDER. He was ironic and cool as fuck, and everyone wanted to be him, and to do him. He was the KNIGHT OF TIME which lead to some awesome side effects. One was always knowing what time it was, or how long something lasted. Another interesting side effect was standing right in front of him.
Dave was staring at himself, presumably from a different timeline, wearing nothing but a long tshirt with a broken record and thigh high stockings. Dave looked himself up and down behind his shades and casually asked “Come here often?”
“Oh you’ll be coming often once I’m done with you.” Oh man, Dave was totally sexy, and he could feel himself getting the most awkward of boners. He was being turned on, by himself and he wasn’t 100% sure what was going on, but he couldn’t deny that he liked it. Before Dave knew it, he was being pushed by himself to a couch chair, and he sat when his knees hit the front of a chair. The other Dave swished his hips seductively as he walked to the stereo system and bent down to turn it on. The shirt rode upwards and Dave found himself transfixed on his ass. The shirt stopped right before exposing his butt, and Dave was trying not to crane his neck uncooly to try and get more of a view.
A funky bass started through the stereo system, and Dave recognized “Sexy and I know it” pounding out. Dave started swinging his hips to the beat and his arms raised above his head before turning around to Dave. His hips moved in time with the beat. His hands fell to his hips before he leaned down, so that the inside of his shirt was just visible through his collar, and his shades slid down his nose so his eyes were visible. He winked and licked his lips before.
Dave stared at his dancing self, unable to do anything but watch. Dave approached himself, and when the seated Dave lifted a hand to try and touch the sexy strider, he moved out of reach. “You can look, but you can’t touch.” Those seductive lips purred, before turning around and shaking his ass in a way that, if Dave had not already been hard, would have had him at full mast instantaneously.
