Q&A with me
how long would I survive a zombie apocalypse.
A week because I would be too focused on getting laid; if I'm getting bit on the neck, a man gonna be first, not a goddamn zombie.
2. Favorite smell?
Weirdly, the smell of gas.
3. what would your last words be?
Honestly, I don't know; I imagine myself screaming to death.
4. Do you like pineapple on your pizza?
No, that's a sin. That's my opinion, so don't come after me.
5. Do you sleep with the lights off or on?
I hate that this is even a question. off
6. Are you scared of Horror movies?
That's what the movies are designed to do. So yes I'm fucking scared.
7. Who was my first-ever crush.
kovu from the criminally underrated Lion using 2.
8. Hobbit or elf?
Elf, cause I wanna sleep with Legolas.
9. Only one food for the rest of your life?
Soup because you can fuck it up, and it'll still be edible, idk.
10. One thing I refuse to share?
My jewelry, I'm sorry, but it's mine.
Questions I have had, and answers I have come up with.
How do fish, mainly whales and sharks have sex.
I think the male shark flips upside down, and the female and male bellies align, rubbing it out. That's a very strong case—like they really go at it. Sea tornados, I believe, are made from whales and sharks making babies.
2. Wikihow is on to something.
I honestly believe that WikiHow was written by a 14-year-old, a very talented one at that time. I think they're using voodoo magic to get this information. But it must be good voodoo magic because it works for others, not me. I plan on going to the forest and singing every song from Princess and the Frog to get this whack voodoo magic off me.
3. Is fighting always the answer?
The answer is yes, always yes. If someone is annoying you, sock them. If you want someone or something, fight till you get it.
4. How did life first start?
I believe I was a very rich man in my past life, but now I am a broke young girl. I had a lot of good-looking people around me in my past life, but I can't get a man in this life. So, I am blaming all of my romantic failures on the rich man I was during my past life.
5. Can I really be perfect for someone?
Yes, I am perfect, but it doesn't mean I don't want a man. I just want to be held. I'm so lonely.
6. Do I want to be a failure for the rest of my life?
I think I already am, but at least I am hot. That's a lie, no tits, no ass. All I have is this dazzling personality, lemme tell you. But there is one thing I will not fail, and that will be every BuzzFeed test that tells you if you are an introvert. Because I am. No person from anywhere will say to me differently.
7. Why does Tarzan not have a beard?
Gorillas are good with their fingers, lemme tell ya. You see the videos with them getting the flees all off their babies' heads bet they did that shit with Tarzan. Plucked every single piece of that beard like they were born for it. Very gals, they knew not to touch the eyebrows. but they did clean up the unibrow if he had one.
8. Which came first, the sun or the earth?
I believe the sub did because how did the gods see shit with just the stars. Now I just sound like an idiot, but I am like, for sure, for sure, that the sun came fucking first?
9. Did humans invent math or discover it?
If someone discovered math, I now have a proper reason for murder. But if these fuckers discovered math and they didn't keep that shit buried, I don't hate a lot of people, but I think my hating on the people who found math is understandable. They should have kept that shit hidden for the light of day, and the sun should have never seen those fucking numbers. This hate stems from the fact that I can't do math.
10. Is it possible to know everything?
Yes, because I exist. I am knowledgeable. I could tell you anything you wanted to know, from why David Clooney is hot to why every man and woman would sleep with Henry Cavill. I can answer that for you now. One David clooney6 has definitely done some mother Gothel shit Sings to a flower while his wife stares at him and wonders why he doesn't share that goddamn flower. I'm telling you, he looks like Gollum in his bedroom, crouched over a yellow flower. Next up, Henry Cavill, Guys, just look at the man. Even a goddamn hippo would sleep with them, the hickeys that man would get. A goddamn Gorilla would go ooh ooh ahh if that man walked into the forest with his Superman suit on. I'm telling you, the lady from where Wonder Woman is from made Henry Cavill. The heavens loved this man, but I think he gets some of his juice from David Clooney. I told you I'm all knowledgeable.
Thank mwuah for reading today's Blog.
Love ya lots
Chasen
I was watching Criminal Minds while writing this, and I must say I would ride Derek Morgan like I stole him.