#dawkinscoffee

[dawkinscoffee]

it has been 1 year now since i’ve made my oc maudie, and i wanna thank the people who have loved and adored her. throughout the one year i’ve received loads of fanart and have had ppl tell me how much they love her 🩷 happy maudie day 🎉

[m22-art]

I have been getting really into the game kindergarten and here is some fanart of my friends kindergarten OC and my OC

[dawkinscoffee]

[dawkinscoffee]

background ver

[dawkinscoffee]

my apologies to everyone in the kindergarten fandom, and some other specific ppl

i want to apologise to everyone and i’m going to try and do this without mentioning my main mental health problems, because they are not excuses for my behaviours. i would appreciate if this were to be taken seriously and not be used to laugh at because that won’t resolve anything.

also if i end up saying “i” a lot to explain my side, i do apologise for that as well and i can try to word it better in another response. i don’t want to make this about me (what i mean is by making myself look good), the only parts i want to make about me is owning up to the terrible things i did and admit to these things. all i will say for reasons is that it was pure hatred and didn’t have anything to do with mental health.

for everyone in the kindergarten fandom: i am taking accountability for all of my actions and for the people i have been an asshole or weird towards. this isn’t the first time i have been like this to people on the internet, since 2020 i’ve always been rude to ppl and always have picked fights. a very long 5 years of me telling ppl they should off themselves, call them names, having to leave platforms, it’s not a good look on me. when i use to do this years ago i was never famous and therefore had never received backlash like this. i can now understand very well on why almost everyone hates me for this. i want to own up to everything i have done and admit that these things have been done without a good reason. i am sorry everyone.

for sam: sam i can never forgive myself for all the shit i had done to u. i don’t understand the one time u said u forgave me. i doxxed where u go for school, i doxxed ur deadname (i will say tho i never referred to u as that, i’ve always called u sam). me receiving this backlash puts me in a part of ur shoes and i can somewhat understand it. i don’t want to say i fully understand it because this isn’t the same as what i did to u, what’s happening with me doesn’t compare at all. i bullied and doxxed u over stupid things and i’m getting black lash for it. what i did was WAYY worse. i have stated multiple times that i’m sorry but it feels like from everyone’s perspective that i never took it seriously, i can even admit as well i never took some of them seriously, and i wouldnt be surprised if they did the same for this as well. i am genuinely sorry and feel a lot of guilt. i had never bullied someone this hard in my entire life and let alone doxx them, which is why i wanted to focus this whole apology to you. i think it’s understandable that u and a bunch of others are giving me terrible karma because i became a hypocrite after this, and probably worse as well. i ended up picking the same “bad” habits as u (reason i say “bad” in quotes is because the things u did were never truely that terrible. it was minor inconveniences that i hated). i’m going to admit here as well that i was the one who emailed ur school. i did it out of pure hatred. i did it because i wanted to ruin ur life so badly to the point where u would just hate urself. i am really sorry for everything i have done towards u, but even then no amount of apologies can make what i did right and easily forgettable. this is a huge part of my reputation as dawkinscoffee. i am sorry sam.

for nihil: ik this “situation” has been going on for like 3 days, but it has affected the both of us terribly. i’m going to admit here that me and other mods did not like u because we thought u were annoying. we shit talked about u in our mod chat a couple times throughout the last 2 weeks. we did it out of hatred and wanting to be strict. i would show the chats we had but i had completely wiped off all the channels in the server, but we did say things like how uptight u are, how u ‘allegedly’ broke server rules (which tbh i didnt understand because i never saw u do that), and a bunch of other things. i apologise for the one time i vented to u without asking. it makes me look like a hypocrite because i always hated when ppl vented to me (hence the no venting rule i had in my bio and server). it is very hypocritical and stupid to do something like that. i did it to “explain my side of the story” but ended up just completely venting because i wanted empathy, which is a stupid excuse. i can agree on a lot of ur points about me and it is 10000000% valid on why u made a post exposing the things i did. i did the same for sam, only difference is that you’ve only made one post and i made multiple about sam while also harassing him, and another is that i’ve done worse than sam. i’m going to admit i’ve made comments and private posts about u the last 3 days. here’s some of them:

something else about the venting thing as well, i’ve also been trying to guilt trip u as well. i can see why ur not taking it seriously because it comes off that i’m trying to receive empathy and make u feel terrible about me. i can own up to a post i made on twitter, where i posted my wrists freshly cut and saying that it was all ur fault, i’ve also said to myself that if i killed myself it’s blood on ur hands. it’s obvious that i’m trying to say that ur immature meanwhile it’s actually me who’s being immature. it’s also valid on why u took what i say as a “threat”. idk if u actually did take these at threats, but that’s what i saw. the way i talked to u made it seem like i was being rude and was trying to nitpick u. this is something i can understand. i am sorry nihil.

for pepper: ik we haven’t talked much at all, and i’m including u in this apology as well because we were recently talking, but also because i want to own up and apologise for something that happened a long time ago. i think u can remember the time an old friend of mine said “i want you dead /hj” and i stuck up for them. even during that time as well me and him talked about how it was annoying that u used caps a lot when u were typing. it was a pretty petty thing for us to be mad over, and i’m really sorry for it. now the reason i’m saying old friend is because i don’t talk to dian anymore and i don’t consider us friends, but at this time it felt like we were and that’s why i stuck up for him and not u. i stuck up for a guy who said he wants u dead and also has said he wanted to be a school shooter. i did it out of annoyance. i did it because i found u really annoying and i was somewhat close with dian at the time. i did it because i had the same negative and petty feelings. i am sorry pepper

for eden: again, i don’t think i had ever spoken to u but i’m including u in this because of some things nihil has told me about, things i did that made u uncomfortable. i use to make a bunch of disability jokes and say things like cripple. now i am going to say that i only did these because of monty and stevie in the kindergarten games, and i wasn’t aware that saying that word was really insensitive. okay well ik it is insensitive, but i didn’t think it was practically a slur because that word gets thrown around a lot in the kindergarten games. i am really sorry if i had ever offended u by saying that word and making jokes, and especially if it made me a hypocrite because my server had a very strict no slurs rule and we had used that word a lot of times. i am sorry eden.

for montysn1stan: now i have no idea who u truely are, and i doubt u are every going to see this. but i am apologising for the horrible harassment i did to u months ago. i was told by a friend that u made inappropriate posts about the kindergarten children, a post about how the boys would thrust. now i do not excuse that behaviour still, but the way i treated it was immature. i spammed ur comments by calling u the f slur (which i cannot claim currently because i don’t have a label for my sexuality, but at the time i thought i could because i was lesbian) and told u to jump/kys. i did this out of hatred, this was pure hatred i had because for the longest time i HATED proshippers and ppl who made videos like that. i still dislike some of them now, but that’s not my point. my point is that is harassed u and told u horrible threats which made u leave tumblr. i am sorry montysn1stan.

for collarbones (sorry if i got ur username wrong): i am including u in this because i called u a pedo for basically no reason, well i had a reason but it’s not a very good one. i was told from one of my friends that u were a proshipper and was even shown screenshots of u and some other ppl laughing over some pisskink fanfic about nugget and billy. now tbh, i don’t remember most of this because it happened very quickly from my pov. i never provided evidence of u being a “pedo”, instead i called u a weirdo/cunt, was rude to u and blocked u after. i did this out of hatred. i did this because i didn’t want to interact myself with pedos (even tho u arent), like i did with sam (which again he’s not a pedo himself, that’s what i called him and made him out to be). i am sorry collarbones.

if there is anyone else that would like an indirect apology to, or anyone that i missed pls let me know and i will make another post/reply. again, i am very terribly sorry towards everyone and i completely understand if most don’t want to forgive me. i am sorry for the hateful speeches and words i made against ppl, and i am owning up and admitting to all of these. everything i said to ppl had mostly nothing to do with my mental health, it was due to the fact that i am a bully online and tend to hold huge and long grudges over little things. i am a terrible person for all of these things mentioned in here and other things as well. if there’s anything else as well that i’ve done that i haven’t owned up to, pls let me know as well.

i am sorry everyone.

[dawkinscoffee]

i wish i could put him a meat grinder /silly

[dawkinscoffee]

im desperate to go viral on this damn app, who wants to an art trade?

[dawkinscoffee]

going on hiatus

hello everyone. im going to try and go on a hiatus. ppl including myself have made it clear im not getting better like i said i would, and im going try and recover myself better by staying off social media for a while.

i’ll still be active thru discord dms and ao3.