#day impala

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um i wish jay was still around because jfc i had the best idea for a day fic and she's not here to see it unu

but

gREASE AU

COME ON HOW DID WE NOT THINK OF THIS BEFORE

SHE'S FROM AUSTRALIA

FUCKING AUSTRALIA

GREASER DWIGHT

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Floreamus

“Jay?”

“Yes, Dwight?”

“I think... I think I found where you buried the bodies.”

“I don't remember burying any bodies in the yard, Dwight.”

He'd been helping her in the garden, Jay mostly assigning him small tasks like carrying buckets after witnessing him trying to dig a hole using a spade the wrong way around. She'd plucked the shovel from his hands condescendingly and swapped it right way up, rolling her eyes and wondering how she'd gotten stuck with this one.

“Well, there is definitely a big pile of intestine-y bits right here, so maybe you should plant your pansies somewhere else,” he said, half-sincere, half-confused. Jay tugged off her rubber-palmed gardening gloves and knelt next to him.

“Intestines?” Dwight waved an uncomfortable and confused earthworm in her face. Her eyes crossed. “That's an earthworm.”

Shrieking, he jumped back into a large potted plant, clinging to the stiff stems before peeling himself from the spontaneously disarranged plants.

“Why is there a pile of worms in our garden, Jay? And why did I touch it? And why did I not realize it was an earthworm? And why, while under the impression that it was a piece of intestine, did I still choose to touch it?”

“They live in the ground, hun.” Leaning over, she pressed a sweet, lingering kiss to his cheek and adjusted the bandanna in her hair. “Leave them be, they're good for the soil.”

“But they're so...” Dwight made a face. “Mushy and pink and gross.” Jay just rolled her eyes, used to growing up in Australia, where every animal had the intent to murder you and your family in your sleep. Worms were child's play.

“I'll hold your hand, babe,” Jay offered patronizingly, and Dwight nodded, snatching her hand quickly and lacing their fingers together like shoelaces, or maybe a corset. “Come on, or it's going to wilt.”

Jay parted the cluster of worms a little and they scattered into the surrounding soil, and Dwight pried his eyes open, picking up the flower in his free hand, and placed it delicately in the tiny ditch.

“Good?” He asked, nervous, as Jay patted his hand lovingly and pressed the dirt back level to the garden.

She glanced at the other side of the yard, filled with the flowers and ferns she'd planted while Dwight was working on his hole, and then back to the little tiffany-blue bloom Dwight was admiring with sparkling brown eyes.

“Good.”

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I don't have a problem I swear

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Do you ever just listen to Jay's audio posts and cry?

Seriously. That girl is so precious.

BLOODY HELL!

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DAY IS HAPPENING EVEN MORE ON PLURK AND I'M SCREAMING GUYS

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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JAY KISSED DWIGHT

JAY KISSED DWIGHT

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so basically day is on

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Fuck You

Anonymous Prompt: Jay curses a lot during sex. And Dwight secretly loves it.

 “FUCK!”

Dwight continued to ram himself into her; her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Fuck you. Fuck. You. Houston.” She wailed, meeting his thrusts with ones of her own, lavishing the sound of his skin on hers. “You fucking bastard, I hate you so much!”

Dwight sucked a mark on her neck eagerly, grabbing a fistful of her soft, messy hair and pulling it back hard to give himself more room. Growling, Jay slapped him across the face, thrusting her hips harder against his, curses mingled with sweet nothings and moans.

“Fuck me, you stupid prick!”

Dwight's fingers trailed over the red mark on his cheek, searching her eyes for an answer. He slowed to a complete stop. Jay sat up, tossing her hair over her shoulder, legs still crossed around his hips.

“Hey! Why'd you stop!”

“Why'd you slap me?”

Silence, and she shook her head, unable to give an answer.

“...Why don't you slap me again?