I’ll be pretty social this week as I have a meeting every day until the weekend, so I’ll update you guys on how that is, I have to work on my proposal and some other things at that, but I guess personally I want to be better I guess? And at the some give up .
I have quite a few characters that I have in my personal work so I might make a story to present to you all, maybe somthing with time and jellyfish, though I should probably tone down the whole jellyfish thing. loll
Emotions are weird but again not much of a surprise, my brain feels like a clone a defective one at that..
Day 25, we have a sketchier veeps! I spent most of today sewing, which made me have some Character Building Thoughts about Viking, and I decided to try something slightly different :D
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: The Doctor (Doctor Who), Tecteun (Doctor Who)
Additional Tags: Whumptober 2024, Angst, Family Angst, Betrayal, Spoilers for Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, Childhood Trauma, Bad Parent Tecteun (Doctor Who)
Series: Part 10 of Nagiru's Whumptober 2024
Summary:
Once upon a time, they had a family. Once upon a time, they had safety.
Then, mother changed, and what once meant kindness now meant only harm.
Written for AI-less Whumptober 2024, Day 25: Betrayal
AI-less Whumptober - Day 25 - Betrayal, “How could you?!”
@ailesswhumptober
The silence was thick. To be fair, Gokudera didn't even want to go to their shared house, but after such a long time, Tsuna ordered them to go home and rest for a while before they even tried to go back to work. There were so many things they needed to accept, especially Gokudera.
As they got into the house, the Storm thought he would grab a few things and leave, but then he wasn't sure if he would really agree with his feelings. Or just shove it down his throat and move on.
Instead, he went to their room, took a nice and long shower, letting himself feel the water falling over his shoulders, taking a deep breath, enjoying the shower to relax the muscles and his head, as well as calm down.
After that, he dressed in just a robe, and so went outside to smoke, sitting down in the chair as he looks the sky. Enjoying emptying his mind so he wouldn't explode, just relaxing and watching the night sky. Because right now? That is all he needed. That is all he could do, relax and calm down.
Watching the puff of smoke come out of his mouth and then into the air before disappearing, he closed his eyes as he smoke. Tsuna was alive... This whole time... He was alive. And Hibari knew it. He wasn't sure what was hurting more, the fact that Tsuna lied to all of them or if was about Hibari, his own boyfriend, didn't tell him.
But again, he understood that the Cloud couldn't tell him no matter what. Work is work, and the relationship should never ever interfere with their work. Mafia was ugly like that. Was he upset because he felt betrayed? Betrayed by his boss? Betrayed by his boyfriend? What was bothering him?
The grief?
Oh... As the Storm opens his eyes again, looking at the sky and then the stars and the moon. Everything... He felt betrayed, but he was also thinking everything was his own fault... Maybe he wasn't as trustworthy? Maybe... What if... That was what this was... The infinite possibilities, the fact he is the right-hand man, but it was Hibari who Tsuna trusted.
There was a reason, he knew and he could understand it but... That didn't hurt any less. Understanding the other's mind doesn't mean he agrees with it, doesn't mean it makes it hurt any less. Got another cigarette and lit it up.
"You will catch a cold if you stay here too long."
Was that the voice of someone he wanted to hear right now? No. But one thing is for sure, no matter how much he feels betrayed, no matter how much that was hurting, he loves that man. Feeling a blanket fall over his shoulders and then a light kiss over his head.
"I will be inside."
He heard another sound over the table and then the man left, as he watched the coffee there, snorting he decided to drink as he kept smoking. He was hurt, yes. He felt betrayed, yes. But he also could understand all that better than anyone.
Kyoya... He called the other, knowing very well that the man was inside but closer to the door. As the Cloud came back, leaning in the door frame. How could you? The words although quiet, felt really heavy with the feelings of betrayal and hurt he was feeling right now. Not giving him space to answer as he keeps talking. I feel so... So... Betrayed, I feel hurt, I feel like I can't trust you. I want to, I really want to... But I can't. How could you?
"I understand, you have every right to feel betrayed and not trust me. Orders are orders though and I had to follow them."
His body shook as he heard those words, biting his lips as he felt the anger rising, yet nothing would work if he let that anger slip. Yes... I do... And I hate myself for not being able to fully do that. I love you so fucking much that I can't feel the emotions right. I feel wrong as if I'm wrong for feeling like that. I should be...
Gokudera sighs at that, as he looks at Kyoya and then shakes his head. I feel... I feel... I feel... Lost. I want to be angry at you two for making me feel like that. But in the end, I can't. So I forgive you. I forgive you for betraying me. I forgive you for breaking my trust. And I love you. I love you so much.
As he takes a last drag of the cigarette and then drinks his coffee. But tomorrow I plan to get a vacation for a month, maybe a little more. I need some time alone, and when I'm back, we can talk about how you can work up to build trust in me again. After all, forgiving doesn't mean I will blind trust you again.
Pulling up the blanket over his shoulders as he walks towards the Cloud and kisses him. Come on, I want to have a nice night to remember before leaving tomorrow.
Sometimes dealing with betrayal doesn't need to be full of anger, calm and more mature way of dealing is far more hurtful than the hate. Because you know how much they are hurt, you know it's your fault, but they are so tired or just... So hurt they can't feel anything other than that. Not even anger or resentment. As you see them just leave.
Sometimes they return... Sometimes they don't, and you will never know what will be. Neither does Gokudera.
Although I’ve never thought of a turtlesona, I’d like to think I’d be a blanding’s turtle in any tmnt iteration. I can’t draw well at all to articulate it, so hopefully this photo reference helps.
They are known to be gentle and timid and are scared easily, which they will retreat into their domed shell, able to pull their head, neck, legs and tail in but not completely shut themselves in like box turtles, or remain submerged underwater than attempting to bite a threat.
I possess many of these characteristics, I am a shy, anxious, cautious person and try to avoid violence or deescalate violent scenarios at all costs.
They also hibernate completely underwater, and I feel as someone who loves swimming fits very well under.
