How to Kill a Friendship in 3 Easy Steps:
Step 1: Share Common Interests. Now what’s that you say? Liking the same things doesn’t end friendships? Oh well excuse me! Why don’t you teach the class then and I can sit down and put my feet up? Oh no really. Go ahead. Come on up. Oh you don’t want to? Well then sit down and listen because my method is guaranteed foolproof. (I would know). You do a lot of the same things; you read the same books; you like the same shows; you go to watch the same movies; you talk all the time.
Step 2: Develop Feelings.
Now you see why the first step is fundamental to the method. Oh sure you still like the same things but now you talk so that you can listen to their voice. To see them smile when they get excited about a show they forgot was on that night. To make them laugh with a funny quote from that movie you saw together 2 weeks ago. You find yourself wanting to talk about more complex things. Like the future and their plans. Their life goals and dreams. You find yourself wanting those things too. You spend your days with them and your nights thinking about them. Thinking up new material to give them even the briefest moment of joy.
Step 3: A Prolonged Death.
The final piece of the puzzle. You have long since realized that you’d rather spend your time with them instead of other people. You cherish strange memories. The way they brushed their hair back into place behind their ear. Or how their hand felt against yours when they passed you something. You want to tell them. You want to tell them so badly about your feelings. But you don’t know how. You start half the sentence, you look at them, and their eyes make your mind go blank. You get choked up. Your mouth turns dry and the words which were just on the tip of your tongue ram themselves back down your throat. Not today. They had a bad day. Tomorrow then. But tomorrow becomes the next day. You’re scared that they’ll run away or laugh and reject you. Like everyone else has. And you’d rather have the torture this friendship is for you than risk it dying because losing them would devastate you but you are used to bearing the pain.
And there you have it. How do you end a friendship? You love them. You love them so much you push yourself away from them.
