#daydreaming help

[maladaptive-dreamer]

Hi there! I’m going to cut to the chase here and say that I’m obsessed with my daydreams, and I feel like it’s starting to get uncomfortable. I mostly daydream to music, and listen to music all the time in general, and this can obviously be a distraction from real world activities I need to focus on, and I’m worried that all this music blasting will mess with my hearing in the future. Also, something that frequently happens in my daydreams is feeling like I’m presenting myself, or even the stories of the daydreams themselves, to an audience in my head, and this can make me uncomfortable because it makes me feel like I’m pretending or performing inside my own head. I tend to slip into this really easily, and while it used to be more extreme, I would like to cut back on it even more. Do you have any advice? Thanks for reading this and I hope you have a good day!

I would reccomend checking the tag on my blog, #daydreaming help. It sounds like you're experiencing some pretty common problems and I've shared a lot of useful tips and tricks in there! I just don't want to leave out any recs if I happen to forget them but they're hidden in that tag.

[maladaptive-dreamer]

I feel like everything tiggers it. I join a different fandom every other week and spend quality time with it to add more content to my dreaming. Whether it’s a book, a band, song, movie, celebrity and read more fanfic about it. I get so attached to 30 different things every two months to have daydreaming content. I zone out of class to watch/read more content. I’ve been neglecting myself, people, and schoolwork. Also I keep mouthing and jumping around (which I do in front of ppl sometimes). Help

I would try to limit your screen time -- maybe take a break from social media so you're not fueled by the fandom, or even go so far as to temporarily block your favorite celebrities on social media so you're not constantly checking their socials to find new daydreaming material. It's tricky to limit your triggers, but I always suggest doing what needs to be done, even if it feels harsh!

And, as always, make sure to work on your overall mental health instead of focusing on MaDD as its own, independent thing. Feel free to search the #daydreaming help tag on my blog for more tips, tricks, and advice!

[maladaptive-dreamer]

hi, a lot of the time i choose to daydream but a lot of the time i feel like i have to. i'm daydreaming almost constantly for hours straight. i've read about madd and it's deeply resonating with me. is it bad to self-diagnose?

No! In fact, the only way to get a diagnosis is to self-diagnose. MaDD isn't a recognized mental disorder at the moment, so just do the best you can with the information you have. Let me know if you need any help.

[maladaptive-dreamer]

Same anon from before, I'm gonna start labelling my asks with 🪐, assuming it appears on your phone. Lmk if not. It's not that my daydreams don't cause problems for me in my real life, it's just that I don't really care enough to bother? I'd much rather daydream, even if the scenarios are more upsetting/traumatic than real life, because somehow it's still better. Like I said, it's pretty much my only source of happiness, other than my friends. I don't know what I'd do without it and I'm scared to even consider it.

(Side note, that emoji appears on my phone and my computer! You can use it!)

I totally understand this. Maladaptive daydreaming is, after all, a coping mechanism. Our brains develop it for a reason. If you don't feel you are in a good enough space right now to treat your maladaptive daydreaming or your overall mental health, then I would honestly suggest to just hunker down and weather out the storm.

I think, though, that it could be good for you to focus on bettering your overall mental health. That way, your daydreams won't be maladaptive but will instead just be immersive! It's like the best of both worlds.

Again, though, sometimes you'll find yourself in a rough spot where all you can do is stay in place and survive. Do what you need to do -- you're a better judge of your current situation than I could ever be.

[maladaptive-dreamer]

I'm scared. My dreaming and the amount of time I'm wasting while doing it is negatively affecting me both mentally and physically because the repetitive movement I have to do to dream hurts my back. I have the usual triggers (books, movies ect.), dreaming of idealized versions of myself. I'm ashamed of telling anyone, and if I got a therapist my parents would find out. Do you know of anyone who has managed to stop on their own? I've been trying so hard and its not working, I just want to stop.

I was able to curb my daydreaming but it was through the process of therapy and also my own personal mental health development. My biggest piece of advice is to really focus on your overall mental health. Practice the healthiest habits you can! Take up meditation, try some breath work, gather some coping mechanisms. If you take care of you entire mind, the specifics of your daydreaming issue will get better as well.

[maladaptive-dreamer]

Is it okay if I don't want to stop? Or if I genuinely enjoy this? A lot of people don't but other than my friends, daydreaming is my primary source of happiness. I don't know what I'd do without it. I'm improving enough to get my work done, or trying to at least, but I still want to be able to daydream as much as possible when I'm not with friends or don't need to be working

A common misconception is that getting better from MaDD means no more daydreaming. That’s absolutely not the case! Instead, the goal should be to get rid of daydreaming’s negative influence on your life.

Once you’ve done that, you’ll be an immersive daydreamer rather than a maladaptive one. You’ll be able to daydream just as often and just as vividly, but it won’t consume you the way maladaptive daydreams were. Remember, it’s totally normal to daydream, but the goal is to do it in a controlled, healthy way.

[maladaptive-dreamer]

Hi! I daydream mostly about people I know in real life, usually my crushes, and the setting and people I associate with those crushes. This causes my brain to conflate the real life version with the imaginary version of someone and I start treating them differently, sometimes even subconsciously behaving as though my crush is my boyfriend. This has caused a lot of awkwardness. How do I deal with it? Is there any way to stop? Because it feels like literally every second of my life is spent daydreaming.

It’s important to know that you are not alone in doing this! Lots of people use real-life people in their maladaptive daydreams and it can cause a lot of discomfort and awkwardness. If you focus on treating your maladaptive daydreaming in general, this problem will probably get a lot better. It might also help to try to incorporate more fictional characters into your daydreams -- are there any pieces of media that you’re a big fan of, that you could take characters from?

As always, I recommend trying to take care of your overarching mental health first. This will help every aspect of your life, including maladaptive daydreaming! For more information, insights, and helpful tips, you can explore the #daydreaming help tag here on my blog :)

[maladaptive-dreamer]

hey!!! quick q. what's ID?

Immersive daydreaming :)