The Break Up Blog - Day Forty Six
Even though I woke up a few times during the night because I was hot, I got out of bed pretty early and started the day off feeling fresh.
After that, it was kind of a blur with me rushing around from class to class. My fourth graders weren't as bad today, but they did leave me wanting to drink alcohol while cleaning up the classroom afterwards.
I skipped lunch at school because there wasn't much of a spread and C and I walked to a nearby buffet restaurant to get takeout. C told me that the school I interviewed before with S was still interested in hiring me in my city. S predominantly recruits teachers for their sister school in Shanghai, so it makes sense why he didn't really give me a fair hearing. I also heard from the head of the International Department at a local university, asking me if I can come in for an interview. And that was literally after I only asked her about the application process and hadn't given her any documentation whatsoever. She hasn't even seen my CV - so an interview could be good, right? Only problem is I didn't see her email in my Gmail account till two days later because of the dumb VPN issues happening in China. I replied this morning, so I hope she still wants to meet me.
I finally managed to do some online grocery shopping without C's help, which was a huge achievement. Of course, it took me nearly 3 hours to find everything when C probably could've done it in 15 minutes, but I'll take any small victories I can get. I updated my VPN apps and the connection's a bit better, so I can at least contact my family and friends again.
I bought some alcohol, but not to get trashed with. I just want to relax after an emotional couple of days. Golden Week has officially started and I intend on getting as much rest as possible and having fun every chance I get.
While mixing my drink and listening to some new tunes that P recommended to me, Icfound myself getting abruptly sad over X again. I thought about the last time I got drunk, texted her and all she said was 'What?' in response. When I think about it now, her response was well and truly shitty. It makes me angry all over again when I think of the months and years I wasted on her, when I should've been loving someone more deserving.
Maybe that deserving person should've been me all along.
Now, I just want to send all her crap back and nit think about her period.
I hope I'll have enough cash for everything I need and want this month. I hope everything works out on the job front so I can stay in my city next year, the one place where I feel truly happy these days.
I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
