#daysoffuturepresent

[gaknar]

Oh Jesus here we go. We’ve already had hints that Jean Grey doesn’t have a motherly fiber in her entire being, but let’s see how she handles this situation.

Oh my god what’s the matter with you!!! She’s not asking you for money! She just wants you to know the she’s your daughter from a horrific apocalyptic future timeline! Can you imagine meeting your child from the future and reacting this way?? You’d have to be shallower than a two cent cup of coffee to behave like this. Man, the writers were not kind to Jean after she came back to life, and I wonder if it had anything to do with the editorial edict that forced them to write her back into the story. Like, we’ve already seen her be a shitty step-parent, we’ve seen her return Scott’s toxicity instead of just leaving the asshole, and now she finally meets Rachel and she acts like an pro-life politician who just found out his mistress is pregnant.

And then we get proof that Cyclops actually had no clue that Rachel was his daughter despite spending an excessive amount of time with her back when they were both members of the Uncanny X-Men and Rachel taking the moniker of the Phoenix and literally everyone else on the team figuring it out. Nice intuition dumb shit! How did this guy ever get to be the leader of anything?? God this is so cringe. Put me out of my misery already.

Thank you! This was the only way to escape this situation. You come out to your alternate reality mom and she starts clutching her ovaries and demanding that you cease to exist? Seriously just impale me. Don’t worry Rachel is fine somehow. (X-Factor Annual #5 – 1990)

[gaknar]

Ahhh this story may be extremely mediocre but once again the art of Arthur Adams saves the X-Men annual. Just look at that cover. It’s like a breath of fresh air during this incredibly shallow and long winded crossover. Do other people like Art Adams? I sort of operate in a bubble over here. I never know what’s cool. When I was a kid I thought Rob Liefeld was cool. Geez when I was a kid I also thought Art Adams was cool. Now I still like Art Adams but I hate Rob Liefeld. I also didn’t like spaghetti sauce when I was a kid and I like it now. What even is life! (X-Men Annual #14 – 1990)

[gaknar]

Hey how come in comics they always have these gigantic levitating circular examination tables? I swear I can only find one other example of this in my blog but I know I’ve seen it other times. Anyway, once these two Fantastic Four teams stop trying to kill themselves, Franklin Richards from the Days of Future Past timeline shows up and we learn that all of the reality warping shananagans are his fault, because he’s fucking crazy, and he’s trying to revert our reality to what he remembers from his childhood before the apocalypse happened.

Jesus he looks like shit in this comic. He looks like the god damned Beyonder here. Walking around with tousled hair and a vacant look on his face, warping reality to his pleasing. At least conjure yourself a nicer looking track suit! (Fantastic Four Annual #23 – 1990)

[gaknar]

Man I need more of this in my life. Cyclops and Jean losing their tempers and throwing ice shards at each other with jai alai xisteras because their relationship is complete shit.

Oh give me a break. I guess they are one of THOSE couples. Explaining their bruises away. ‘He didn’t mean it! He loves me! And he knows I love him too! We just lose control sometimes!’ Oh go get a shitty house in the suburbs and do this shit in your basement like everyone else so the rest of us don’t get our hopes up that it’s going to end anytime soon. And fuck you Hank for enabling them! (X-Factor Annual #5 – 1990)

[gaknar]

Jesus that is one obnoxious hat. I mean, it’s a sombrero, right? With little string balls on it? I’m sure there’s a time and a place for it, but it’s not on Rachel Summers’s head in the middle of this story. Where did she even get that outfit! She just got turned into a hound and totally freaked out and then ran away from the rest of the X-Men and now she’s happily stuffing her face in some burger diner after re-dressing in some thrift store that hasn’t cycled out their 80s fashions yet? She looks like she’s a character in that old Borderlands Madonna movie.

I’ll give it a pass because I love this artwork so much. (X-Men Annual #14 – 1990)

[gaknar]

After the conflict is resolved in the Days of Future Present, we are still left with the tension of Rachel revealing to Jean and Cyclops that she’s their child from an alternate timeline, and Jean is having some real issues with it. Can you even imagine being so self centered that the mere thought of possibilities from an entirely different timeline are completely offensive to you??? Like, you need to have so much dominion over your life, your relationships, and the world around you that nature of the universe having infinite dimensions is completely unacceptable and you’re going to be butthurt about it??? You can’t control infinite dimensions, Jean! And you’re going to have kids in some of them! Get over it! I bet in some of them you have kids with the Mole Man! Because the possibilities are infinite! Are you going to reject them too?? It’s not their fault! They are just cute little mole children! And I bet in that dimension the Mole Man is actually really awesome and handsome and thoughtful! He probably makes you dinner and buys you a bottle of wine on his way home from work! Ahh anyway, this story wraps up with Jean undergoing some quiet reflection while staring at the holemphatic matrix crystal that’s imbued with the personalities of the Phoenix and Rachel.

Or you could just break the damn thing again. (X-Men Annual #14 - 1990)

[gaknar]

Yeah you’d think the combined might of the three X-Men teams and the Fantastic Four would be enough to take down Galactus, but Ahab actually gives them a run for their money because he’s got so many trolls and sex dog minions. Look, Ahab even takes down the almighty Cable who was fucking invincible in these early appearances.

Wait is Ahab supposed to be the alternate reality version of Cable in Days of Future Past? They both have the same scars over their eyes. They are both ugly old men. Did they ever clarify whatever the fuck Ahab is referencing here?? To Wikipedia!

And there’s another 45 minutes of my life lost. Here’s what I learned so you can save the time. Yes this was supposed to be insinuating that Ahab is the alternate reality version of Cable, but the writers changed their minds. Marvel writers: wasting peoples’ time 30 years later. (X-Men Annual #14 – 1990)

[gaknar]

Look here. I’m all for people having the autonomy in their lives that they require, BUT JEAN ALL YOU’RE DOING IS SITTING AROUND COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW CYCLOPS MARRIED YOUR CLONE AND HAD A BABY WHILE YOU WERE DEAD AND THAT YOUR DAUGHTER FROM ANOTHER TIMELINE IS PUTTING TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOU TO ACT NOT COMPLETELY SELF CENTERED. SERIOUSLY IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE HAND YOU WERE DEALT YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. This may be super insensitive to say, but I just watched a Youtube video about Casey Anthony and that shit is kind of reminding me of Jean in these X-Men comics. (X-Men Annual #14 – 1990)