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Holy shit

#dungeon crawler Carl #eye of bedlam bride #dcc book 6 #moonstormwaffles

“I am going to take my ceremonial knife, insert it into your gut and skin you alive while you scream in pain. I will then use your pelt to line the interior of my codpiece,” Prince Stalwart growled. “Your fur will spend the next thousand years warming my enormous genitals.”

“Wow,” Donut said. “That’s an oddly specific threat. And ‘enormous’? Really? Nobody was questioning the size of your genitals, so it’s really weird you would just randomly bring it up. Carl, did you hear that? Do you think he thought that one up before he got up here, or do you think it just kind of popped out? I’m like 90% certain he had that one ready to go.” She gasped. “Do you think he was sitting there, waiting for the meeting to start, saying to himself, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna go with the codpiece line?"

-Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 6: The Eye of the Bedlam Bride, Matt Dinniman

#post #dungeon crawler carl #quote #princess donut #dungeon crawler world: earth #dcc #dcc book 6 #the eye of the bedlam bride

“Oh my god. Look, man,” he said, suddenly serious. There was something else there, something I’d never seen from the large man. Anger. He had tears in his eyes. The sight was so shocking, I took a literal step back.

“You think I don’t know? That last party sucked, man. My best friend died. And after today... Imani’s squad doesn’t have a key. Tserendolgor doesn’t have a key. Lots of squads don’t. I’m not stupid. None of us are. We all know what happens next. It’s going to be terrible, and some of us are going to die. And if we survive? We go down to the next floor, and we do it all over again.

I have a whole, entire army of elves who want to kill me on the ninth floor. Britney can’t stop crying. Tran just watched a memory of his own mother tell him he’s not welcome home anymore. Katia is struggling every day, and Bautista is having a nervous breakdown. And every time I look at you, I get scared that you’re going to go insane and kill everybody in the room because your eyes are getting wilder and wilder by the day.” He lifted a shaking finger and pointed it into my chest.

“But not tonight. None of that is going to matter tonight. I don’t care what you say or what you think. I don’t care what day it really is. Tonight it's fucking Christmas, and we are going to have fun and drink some goddamned eggnog and open presents."

-Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 6: The Eye of the Bedlam Bride, Matt Dinniman

#spoilers #Louis standing up to Carl is such a moment #I love it #and as much as I love Carl #He needed to hear this #post #dungeon crawler carl #quote #princess donut #dungeon crawler world: earth #dcc #dcc book 6 #the eye of the bedlam bride

How can you win a deliberately unfair game when the rules are written by your opponent? The answer is you can’t. You will never win. Not as long as you follow their arbitrary guidelines.

This sort of thing happens all day, every day across the universe. It happens in Big Ways, and it happens in little ways, too. The strong stomp on the weak. The weak fight back, usually within the boundaries of the rat trap they find themselves confined. They almost always remain firmly stomped.

But sometimes, the weak gather in secret. They make plans. They work outside the system to effect change.

...

In my opinion, that’s the only type of society that’s worth joining, worth fighting for. Sure, you’re probably gonna die. But if you find yourself in such a position where such an organization is necessary, what do you have to lose? How can you look at yourself if you don’t do everything you can?

-Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 6: The Eye of the Bedlam Bride, Matt Dinniman