I have no idea what I'm doing...but I'm doing it

[cairfrey]

It's that Dungeon Crawler Carl Quote Blog!!!

I know why you're here, it's the ridiculous amount of Dungeon Crawler Carl quotes that I post.

Well somehow you've found your way to my actual blog, let me redirect you to my collection of DCC quotes.

If you haven't read all the books yet (and WHY not!? Mongo is appalled!) then you can filter the quotes by book:

Dungeon Crawler Carl Carl's Doomsday Scenario The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook The Gate of the Feral Gods The Butcher's Masquerade The Eye of the Bedlam Bride This Inevitable Ruin

There's no rhyme or reason to the way they're uploaded BTW. Just as I read, I add the quotes. Given the amount of rereads, I anticipate the entire series uploaded at some point /s

I also made The Dungeon Crawler Carl community on Tumblr. It's Invite only, but that's only because the last public community I was part of very quickly became overrun with porn bots. I'd rather spend my time inviting every DCC fan individually than spend my time culling porn bots.

Anyway, if you want to join send me a message. I'm usually pretty quick at responding.

==System Update==

I have consolidated every extract from The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook into individual posts. Not the third book in the (amazing) Dungeon Crawler Carl series, the in-universe book that was introduced in the third Dungeon Crawler Carl Book.

Every post is tagged with spoilers because spoilers! Do NOT read the Dungeon Anarchist Cookbook posts if you are not up to date with (as of time of writing) book 7!

All of the posts are tagged with the crawler who made the entry and the Edition of the Cookbook. Use them well comrades.

Crawler Porthus 2nd Edition Crawler Tipid         4th Edition Crawler Everly 5th Edition Crawler Milk         6th Edition Crawler Volteeg 7th Edition Crawler Justice Light 8th Edition Crawler Rosetta 9th Edition Crawler Ikicha 11th Edition Crawler Batbilge 12th Edition Crawler Allister 13th Edition Crawler Priestly 14th Edition Crawler Sinjin 15th Edition Crawler Herot         16th Edition Crawler Azin         17th Edition Crawler Ossie 18th Edition Crawler Coolie 19th Edition Crawler Forkith 20th Edition Crawler Tin         21st Edition Crawler Drakea 22nd Edition Crawler Carl         25th Edition

Several entries have multiple entries and some of Crawler Carl's entries are planning notes for various assaults. They are obviously more spoiler filled than any other entry.

If you notice any Dungeon Anarchist Cookbook posts that I have missed please message me with the book and chapter that it is found in and I will get it added

Finally, if you actually here to find out about me (aww bless your heart!) then you can check the tags:

cairfrey life cairfrey thoughts cairfrey teaches reblogs

Anyway, loves to all.

[cairfrey]

And that's it. I've just finished A Parade of Horribles. I've read Matt's afterward and listened to the secret skit (and I'm now listening to the original version of Pony's song). The only thing I haven't read is the Pineapple Cabaret bit, which I will be reading when I get home.

Again, Matt, thank you for writing something so fucking perfect.

I've stopped trying to anticipate what's going to happen in upcoming books. I don't engage in fan theories for upcoming books or floors because. At the end of the day, *nothing* I would have guessed would have come close to what Matt puts out.

Thank you so much.

I don't think I'll ever be able to get into why Carl is so important to me. I think only intensive therapy would really uncover why it has such a deep hold on me.

We've never met, Matt, but I love you so goddamned much.

And so, i finish this post with the words of a great philosopher and my next tattoo:

Unity, support, family, and kneecapping bitches.

--Update--

As someone's asked what the secret skit is and I can't reply to comments with pictures, it's literally called 'secret skit' on the audiobook

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Secret Snikt

OK, I was premature in thanking Matt for making Jeff sing that first song. Thank you for that secret snikt song. Thank you so much!!!

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Interlude Sydnee Iglacia

"Don’t ever forget, this story is a tragedy.”

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

Matt, that line does not fill me with confidence. I'm scared.

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Chapter 98

Technically a spoiler as it's the last line in the main story (before the epilogues) but if you can guess even slightly what is going on in this without having read it, I salute you!!!

She reached over with an antenna and touched my nose. “Boop,” she said.

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Chapter 95

"And then, as so many times before, several things happened at once."

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

I can't believe it took 95 chapters to get Carl's catchphrase said! I also love how self-aware Matt is with 'as so many times before'.

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Chapter 92

Carl: Now you tell me. I just pierced a pig’s nipple.

Mordecai: I don’t know how to respond to that, Carl.

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Chapter 87

Spoiler

Spoiler warning

Donut breaking my goddamn heart again. We do not deserve Princess Donut.

Spoiler

Last warning

“Oh, darling,” Donut said, her voice suddenly amplified. She was using her headset microphone. “This is nothing but a dream. Out in the real world, you’ve already left them behind. You moved from Detroit, and you went to Washington, and you started a new life. You made the most wonderful friends, people named Yolanda and Brandon and Elle and more, and you met a man named Chris, and you fell in love, and you lived happily ever after. It’s all right. All you need to do is close your eyes and wait. It’ll be over in just a second.”

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Chapter 72

Another long spoilery bit that brought me to tears.

Spoilers

Yup, spoilers

I've warned you, spoilers

.

“Crawlers...Those of you attempting this escape, I salute you...Those of you staying but planning to take a deal after the next heat, I salute you. Those of you who are hoping to make it to the parade, I salute you.”

...

“Man, this floor,” I said, shaking my head. “They keep trying to kill us, trying to make us turn on one another. And it worked for a while. We stopped doing it naturally, so now they’re forcing situations where we have to do it if we want to survive.

We aren’t perfect. We fight. We do hurt each other sometimes. This last heat, heat seven, it will be three teams and only one survives. And for some of us, there’s no avoiding the inevitable. Some of us will fall.

But you know what? I am proud of how far we’ve all come. We are doing our best with the hand we’ve been dealt. Nothing about this is easy or clean.

But everyone here—each and every one of you, no matter what happens next—I consider you my brothers and sisters. My family. And I just wanted to get that out. I am proud to have survived alongside all of you.”

I turned and looked at the shining, weary eyes of the survivors. My people.

...

"We have been tempered in the fires of hell, and we are now past the point of being broken."

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Chapter 62

Here's another long spoiler bit. There's no coincidence that these are coming from Donut's book.

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

You've been warned.

"You probably don’t remember, but just before the battle at the southern border during Faction Wars, I was working a stinger unit. You and Carl strolled by, and you stopped, looked up at me, and said you liked my fangs. You saw my player-killer skulls and asked me if I was a bad person. I told you what happened, and I stuttered, but you waited for me to tell you, and afterward, you told me about your friend Imani, and you said that we all have scars.

We only talked for maybe a minute, but it was enough.

It’s stupid, I know. You saw I was scared, and it was just a little throwaway moment. But I think it was the first time in my entire life anyone has ever looked at me and said something nice, just to be nice, just to make me, a stranger, feel better.

So thank you for that.

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

The world (let alone The Dungeon) doesn't deserve Princess Donut.

[cairfrey]

"We sluggalos have a code. That code is ‘unity, support, family, and kneecapping bitches.’"

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

Why that is on the inside of the hardback.

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Chapter 57

Dear Matt, thank you for making Jeff sing that song.

Seriously, thank you.

[cairfrey]

Book 8: General Thoughts

So, this is and it isn't a spoiler because it's only spoiling one minor thing and the rest is just a hypothetical shower thought.

The spoiler bit: Carl recently got an extension to his hotbar which allows for contingencies. We see the healing spell being easy as a contingency after the crash in the (I want to say) second heat.

The shower thought bit: If it were me (not that I would have survived past 6 hours on floor 1) my contingency trigger would be "When Donut dies" and then have it cast 'Run Little Gunter' followed by everything explosive and everything that amplifies explosions in the hope of just destroying the entire planet.

Because, let's be honest, if anything ever happens to Princess Donut, the only reasonable course of action is literally exploding the world.

Just a thought. As of where I'm at now (Chapter 56) Donut is alive and...as well as someone with that much trauma can be.

[cairfrey]

Look what just arrived!!

[cairfrey]

I just hit the 50% mark in 'A Parade of Horribles'. At this rate I should be finished by the weekend! At which point I can (1) start from Book 1 again and (2) complain that Matt hasn't finished the next book yet!

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Chapter 48

"Of course the slut orphan is going to win.”

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

[cairfrey]

Book 8: Chapter 45

Jacobus buzzed near my head. He whispered in my ear. “Jeg hader også tigre. De har kun tredive tænder. Hvis du betaler mig, eller hvis du lader mig kneppe grisen, får jeg deres kranier til at eksplodere.”

- Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade of Horribles, Matt Dinniman

Translation: “I hate tigers too. They only have thirty teeth. If you pay me, or if you let me fuck the pig, I’ll make their skulls explode.”

Jacobus is fucking nuts!