Dead? Charming: WA Must Support
Hi'ya!
Story Blurb:
It’s dead funny and dead charming.
Synopsis:
In ‘Dead? Charming.’ there's a dead body in front of me. It just so happens to be mine. A spider landed on my arm, I freaked out and fell off my balcony. It happens all the time. Right? Check out my hilarious new novel to see how I adjust to my new life in the afterlife.
Sneak Peak:
“Oh my God. OH. MY. GOD. I’m dead. I’m so dead. Really dead. I CAN'T BE DEAD.
At this point, I had convinced myself that if I could just reconnect with my body, I’d cease being dead. I know. I’m a genius.
Naturally, I decided the best course of action would be “the kiss of life”. It didn’t work. Honestly, I panicked. I’m not entirely proud of myself.
My next amazing plan of action was to lie down on myself. I can only thank every deity known to man that no one was watching me because I’m absolutely certain that it looked like I was trying to molest myself. A corpse, I cringed.
Seeing as how my stint with necrophilia wasn’t working out so well for me, I decided to stop. Instead, I took a good look at myself. It was impressive really; I don’t think I’ve seen a better owl impersonation. Ugh and my mouth was open. It was stretched into a skewed “o” shape. How attractive. Couldn’t I have died a bit more gracefully? Still, I suppose it’s better than dying on a toilet. I hear Elvis went that way.
I’m not sure what made me look down, but I noticed a trickle of blood had made its way over to my feet and I did what any female, twenty-two year old cynic would do in the face of death. I bawled like a baby.
I cried because I was dead. I cried because I had died alone and a virgin just like James Warren from junior school had said I would. I cried because my attempt to get rid of a spider resulted in me falling off my own balcony. I cried because really, I couldn’t find anyone else to blame. But most of all I cried because my blood was now seeping into my brand new Jimmy Choos. My poor £400 shoes.”
Author Bio:
Kimmi Devlin is the author of the humorous new novel ‘Dead? Charming.’She may be the new writer on the block but don’t let that put you off. Her writing style is quick and snappy. If you don’t crack a smile at least once whilst reading, I suggest a visit to your local doctor to fix that broken funny bone.
Creepyfreakyeerie, yes, but funny as hell -- read more here http://www.wattpad.com/story/3255198-dead-charming and, as usual, let me know whet you think in the comments below!
If you enjoy this story as much as I did, be excellent and comment,vote,share or like it to support the author @kimmi_deviant
Dead? Charming: WA Must Support was brought to you by Matt Xell: Writer's Advocate -- powered by Wattpad and Project Memori.
cheers and thanks for readin'
Matt
http://www.wattpad.com/user/mattxell
https://www.facebook.com/mattxell?ref=tn_tnmn
https://www.facebook.com/TheWritersAdvocateAssociates
https://www.facebook.com/ProjectMemori
https://plus.google.com/u/0/118375892329304825847/posts
https://twitter.com/#!/mattxell
http://pinterest.com/mattxell/
http://delicious.com/mattxell