#deadofnight0

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Any scene with Tony and Syd: *Casual by Chappell Roan starts playing.*

(but honestly, Tony has chemistry with EVERYONE, its so hard.)

Sometimes I listen to Good Luck Babe and go ,,,, i could make something very violently sad. with this. (in relation to sydtony, that is)

Which, speaking of, this gives me a wonderful opportunity-- I did not expect anyone to catch this, because it was so long ago, but--

for the SquidInk truthers, I humbly present you, a play of two acts:

did anyone catch this? probably not. Chapter 5 was less than six weeks but it feels like decades.

anyways it's july 2nd but happy pride i love these two so much and every day i go what if i just made the biggest pivot of all time

Same for Richie, honestly. I write for RiChip and I go FUCK ! FUCK ! Tony's really got too much chemistry with everyone.

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HEY LOVELY!!!! Now this, THIS, was worth every day i waited. IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING. Everything i dreamed it to be and more.

Tony and Mikey scenes? HEARTBREAKING. Every moment they have together, no matter sad or happy, is slowly chipping away at my soul.

Carmen getting a therapist? Genius. Don't know why the writers haven't given him one, boy does he need it.

Syd and Richie making sure Tony is taken care of by sorting Carmen out before he see's her again? Everything. I need them as friends, right now. NOW.

(still pissed at Carmen, though.)

The way you write characters reactions to grief is, like, stunning. STUNNING.

ALSO, as someone with a brother who struggles with drugs, seeing Mikey being portrayed as a nice person with loving friendships is really amazing to see. (the fact i have another brother called Mikey too, freaky? probably not. BUT IM A DRAMATIC PERSON OKAY?)

Anyway, i am genuinely in love with this series. You should be so incredibly proud of your self. Would i be able to get onto the tag list?

He congratulates you.

the absolutely shattered render quality of this image really fucking makes it. packing update: I've just got the desk and closet left! and also my billion plants.... i really don't want to think about the plants...

SO GLAD it was worth the wait, I hope chapter 14 also is. I'm not the most happy with the ending scenes right now... Happier than I was yesterday... but maybe I just need to stop looking at it, honestly. I'm transforming into S3 Carmen changing that menu every 5 fucking minutes AH.

CHIPPING away you say? not funny. I'd had these scenes in my head for a minute, but I was so worried about being off-base with Mikey's character because all I had to go off of was Fishes, so thank you God for Napkins I would've been so fucked.

SPEAKING OF S3, I know,,, it makes sense that he doesn't have one I mean he hesitated so much to just go to al-anon but even fucking al-anon in S3 he's reverted to just not fuckin' talking which SUCKS !! DON'T SUBTRACT !! PLEASE STOP SUBTRACTING IM BEGGIN YOU!!

I love Syd and Richie and the way they combine forces when it comes to their Shared Work Wife. I think what's so fun about it is that without this being for Chip, Syd wouldn't be so direct, and Richie would be so much fucking meaner, but because it's for her, they actually make an effort to sort Carmen the fuck out. And also beat his ass. two things can be true.

And THANK YOU I write a fuck ton of grief poetry and I think I just went to like. a lot of funerals as a kid. an unexpected consequence of having a kid a lot later than everyone else. It's in my bones. but like in a fun way.

Also, when I read this for the first time, I remember being SO confused because I was like. "There was another option?" And forgot that people fucking suck and see people struggling or in recovery as something that is other. Fucking ew. I never had any intention of portraying Mikey other than the really fucking good brother he is, who also just so happens to be struggling. Don't applaud a fish for swimming! People are people and they should be written as fuckin' people!!!! But I am glad my portrayal was appreciated none the less. YOU'RE NOT DRAMATIC!!

Of COURSE you can be added!! Though I will say, sometimes it doesn't always work when I tag people. So I am. sorry. I think it's something in tumblr settings? Gotta set your shit public or taggable or something? regardless. i'll fuckin put your name in there for sure!! thank you for your thoughts m'love!!

back to packing.... desk or closet desk or closet.... flipped a coin i got desk mannnn... wish me luck!! do i have anything from chapter 14 i can give you?

is this spoilery? c'est la vie, take it. kisses kisses see you in ideally less than an hour when i finish desk packing.

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HEY LOVELY!!!

Been a while since ive done one of these. Im re-reading AGAIN and forever will be. im obsessed, truly.

Through re-reading this hit SO hard.

“The other shoe still hangs in the air; but not in your bed.”

LIKE WHAT? HELLO? KILL ME? Your writing is phenomenal. i cannot fathom how you do this EVERY CHAPTER.

Anyway, im so exited to read every chapter to come. Am i in love with Tony? maybe a little (a lot). I was also wondering if you have anything planned for after you finish Chicago's finest? Another The Bear book? or maybe something else entirely? Not to rush you or anything, obviously. Im just so incredibly nosy. My deep apologies.

Just to tell you for the millionth time, im in love with you, youre writing, Tony, how you write the characters, EVERYTHING. gives me life.

me when i hear anyone coming even CLOSE to me while im reading Chicago's finest.

me planning a characters slow and painful demise when they upset Tony. (love you Carmy. not really. no, joking i do. maybe not. NO I DO I SWEAR.)

me trying to act casual when i see you've posted.

ALSO

me trying to act casual when Tony and Syd are interacting. (Dont worry, babe! by Chappell Roan? Who said that...?)

ANYWAY (for the second time) very sorry that this is just me rambling about stuff you dont want to hear.

Hope you're having an amazing day/night, lovely!!

I've stuck you in perpetual re-reading hell have I? My deepest apologies. Esp since I've been chronically re-reading in my brief basically hiatus as i write, I USE SO MANY COMMAS GUYS??? WHY WERE YOU LETTING ME GET AWAY WITH THAT??

the revisions once the series is finished is gonna go CRAZY.

Anyways, SUCH A DELIGHT to hear what silly prose of mine sticks out to you!! thank god you think i do it every chapter!! i am constantly doubting each chapter (man why do you think 15 has been so delayed? LMAO)

I adored using the other shoe as a through line throughout the Troubled Angst arc, one because it's very canon, but also because its very much a thing for me, like, when a good thing happens, cannot HELP but wonder how it's going to get fucked in the end.

which, after telling my doctor that, got reccomended the same books i reccomended carmen LMAO. love you son <3

THANK YOU FOR LOVING TONY!!! I love her dearly, I put so much of myself in her and also so much of what I see and love about my darling friends; my sweet darling dashing hero complex burden carrying the guy overconfident yet under confident tony. My sweet babe. the people love you!!

As for when I finish Chicago's Kindest (PUNCH BUGGY ACAB!! FUCK THE FINEST!!), I'll probably certainly absolutely take a break from writing for The Bear for a bit (though I'll definitely be around to answer asks!! duh!!). But once I return, I am hoping to...

If you send in little blurb requests for Chicago's Kindest, I'll do em!! I know esp with like Mikey/Chip there's a lot of bits that have been spoken about but never actually written out and lived. So like. If you got requests, send em in, I might write em.

I promised a SquidInk spinoff and bitch you're getting one!! There's two different ideas I've got twirling around for them at the moment, they might combine into one one off, or two separate things, who's to say!

More and More I cannot see RiChip as anything more than a platonic duo, but like, maybe I'll try to write something about them? I do adore those two. I just cant see em doin a kiss. that's just bad for my brain.

And I have no hard plans atm, but like, I'd like to write something for RIchie in general at some point. What about and what of? Idk. Certainly not a series this long. that's for fucking sure.

I don't think I can ever write for Carmen though again LMAOOO, it's only Tony for me atp. Like I can't pair him with a new reader, I'll fucking freak out. It's Chip or Die, y'know?

And while I have an epilogue planned, once Season 4 comes out, if there's something interesting that I feel like I wanna throw my hat in on, I'll come back for a Chicago's Kindest Season 2, so to speak. But no promises. They will probably give me nothing to work with, with how our stories diverge. who's to say.

anyways! not nosy!! sorry for talking about it for so fucking long!!!

i'm so glad I write the characters well, please note that it's cause I'm always freaking out about it. I am re-writing bits of lines all the time to make sure it suits their voices and decisions ,and even still i have changes i wanna make looking back LMAO

DONT CRASH OUT WHEN READING CHICAGO'S KINDEST LMAOSOD where is everyone typically when reading CK?? I'm usually on the subway editing my google doc lmao

and listen, every time i re-read Just Dropped i'm like damn. why did i not go with the punching route. should've cold clocked his ass. (love you carmy but JESUS CHRIST I WROTE ALL THAT??? WHAT WAS I GOING THROUGH MY WORD???)

THE LAST PHOTO ALSO?? i know that's a classic promo image but what the FUCK IS RICHIE DOING IN THE BACK? WHY ARE YOU SITTING LIKE THAT??? SIT UP BIG MAN WHAT THE HELL WE RUN A BUSINESS GIRL

Always rant and ramble to me!! Love to wake up to spam in my inbox. even if it takes me ten years to answer (sorry to everyone still trapped in my inbox, i love you babies)

all of you are really gonna hoot and holler when you see the squidink playlist, truly, it's so gay and sad. i love those idiots. when do i get to make them kiss. is it now? i hope it's now.

anyways i am SO LATE TO GO TO BED I'VE GOTTA GO BABIES BUT THANK YOU FOR CHATTIN WITH ME SORRY FOR TALKING FOR TOO LONG <3 HOPE I GET YOU YOUR NEXT CHAPTER SOON BABY I'M SORRY FOR THE FORCED HIATUS

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i am literally obsessed. I cannot watch The Bear without thinking about how Tony would fit into certain scenes, its a problem (and im not complaining). Your writing is amazing and you have the characteristics down for every character, which makes it even more fun to read. I shamelessly check tumblr every night to see if you've posted.

ALSO Tony CANNOT forgive Carmy that easily. Normally when you forgive too easily and quickly it always comes to bite you in the arse later on but we will see. And also HOW DARE Carmy say such thing to Tony? I was enraged, my mum could hear me shouting about it from the other room (yes, i shout at my computer to fictional characters.)

Anyway, again, i am obsessed. I am obsessed with Tony, Tony's relationship with everyone, The backstory of the character, EVERYTHING.

Have a wonderful day/night and you should be very proud of your work :)

I'm so sorry for making this problem I am. A villain. BUT ALSO THANK YOU!! I do/did the exact same thing watching season 3 honestly, but to fair for me it's kind of my jobs. I'm honestly so curious what bits and pieces everyone thought Tony could be shoved in or work with.

I feel like all of season 3 would not have happened with tony around LMAO-- She says CUT IT OUT !

SHOUTING IS WILD, I'm sure you had all the digs that Carmen deserved to hear from Tony but didn't get. She really cannot fold though that man's anger issues were WILLINNNNNNNNN

But like,,, man that sandwich,,,,, maaaannnnnnn jkkjkjkjkjk tony dont fold dont fold

I'm so excited to hear your thoughts on the next chapter when it finally comes out!! Thank you for bein' patient I know you've been WAITIN!!

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I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING. You have perfected everyone's characteristics and having Tony in the mix just makes that much more enjoyable.

I check your page nightly. Even when i know there's not going to be a new chapter out. Plus i just love seeing everyone's thoughts on every chapter.

Me every night looking for a chapter i know isn't there:

SHOW ME TO ME, PLEASE

SEND IT TO ME RACHEL.

THANK you love!! It makes me so very happy to hear that I've not only gotten a fucking GRASP on these characters but also made an enjoyable character to live vicariously through.

Also. Yknow something insane? So do I. I will read through whatever draft I'm writing at the time on my commute to make notes and rigourously think about, and I'll be getting into it, and then . It's just my beats and outlines. And the rest of the chapter has not been written yet. And I'm like MOTHER FUCKER WHERE IS IT?? ?WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO WRITE IT??

Which, speaking of, fucking FINALLY finished the complete first draft of this chapter-- And surprise surprise.

NEW LONGEST BABY!!!! And honestly I have some edits I want to make that will make it a little longer. So jesus fucking christ. I'm very sorry gang but hopefully this now makes sense as to why I'm taking so. goddamn long (i'm really not it's only been a week or so, I think)

Season 3 honestly threw me for a loop, with this chapter, because there were a lot of things that I suddenly felt the need to add to this already planned chapter, and also I was like-- Wait, do I need to pivot? No. No, I'm simply just making my own season 3, at this point. This is just what I do now.

I've been waiting for this chapter, frankly, I'm probably going to make a post just screenshotting bits from this chapter and yapping about it. I really. I'm a poet, like actually write poetry, and so there's a lot of just-- Theres a lot of bits that I need to yap about. I'M EXCITED FOR YALL TO SEE IT!!