thinking about vol. 5 wade wilson... him dropping everything the moment he realises he has a daughter. not being able to believe it because she was too beautiful to have come from him. playing with her by showing her a magic trick that literally involved severing his finger because that's his idea of fun, because he doesn't remember what it's like to be a child. his long bouts of depression and intermittent states of anxiety because there's some memories that he just can't remember. him being so lonely and not understood that his mind resisted preston leaving his consciousness. getting his first hug in probably a long while from preston but only when he had to let her go. struggling with zenpool because he recognises it's a better version of him but not who he can be. thinking about wiping his memory and starting over but realising he has people to live for. realising that his purpose is not being with his family but being at the frontlines protecting them. hanging up his suit because deadpool has to die for wade wilson to live
