deadpool x spiderwoman!reader
smut
cws: injuries, marvel style violence small mention of bleeding, bruises, aggressive flirting, playful bantering, p in v, protected sex (oh yeah wrap it before you tap it), brief mentions of pan deadpool, aftercare, appearances by blind al, wade taking care of you after you get hurt, deadpool being a warning in general
editors note: yeah there have been like close to zero deadpool fanfics recently so here's a really long, good one heeheehee enjoy >:3 NOT PROOFREAD!
you poorly swing through the dark in the gross, smelly, sad, yucky alleyways of New York. your ribs hurt so bad, but you were just trying to get back to your apartment before you passed out. your head rung, and your arms were tired from throwing nasty hooks and swinging webs. you defended a woman who was about the get robbed by some tall nasty dudes. yeah, she walked away unscathed, but you were a different story.
you mistimed your last thwip, leaving you in the air for a short time before you fell to the ground pretty hard
"fuck my life, man." you sighed as you just laid down and looked at the sky. it was cloudy, and not the cute kind of cloudy. like, the gross, depressing kind of cloudy. you just stayed there for a couple of minutes, trying to drown out the noise of the city- cars honking in the distance, loud music playing from somewhere far away- before you heard footsteps coming your way. you tried to sit up, but your chest practically screamed in pain. "who is it? stay away from me or..I'll web you up! im not kidding!" you yelled down the alleyway, only for the streetlight to shine on the person approaching you. "well, that's more of a third-date-kind-of-thing for me, but if you say so, spidey!"
"this guy." you muttered underneath your breath. you had met him quite a few times in the past. once, he was trying to rob some bodega as he claimed that the guy who owned it sent his cousins to rob him once. another time, he was getting jumped after trying to save a guy getting attacked in broad daylight by some thugs and you helped him take them out. there was a couple of other times, but nothing that memorable. he knew your name and you knew his. maybe reluctantly, but at least you knew it.
"well, shit, if i was a pretty spider-girl, probably hurt and injured, laying in the middle of a creepy alleyway in the bronx, i wouldn't be complaining if a guy walks up to me and tried to see what was wrong with me instead of trying to rob me and do god knows what else." he quipped as he leaned on the wall and looked down at you. you tried to get up again, but your arms completely gave out. you groaned as your head absolutely throbbed. wade could see something was definitely wrong with you. "oh, hey, are you actually alright?" he walked over and squatted next to you. "i got beat up by a bunch of dudes. they were trying to rob some chick in the street," you managed to say. "wow, beating up super-women in cute, skin tight outfits is okay now? crazy. i never got the memo!" you wanted to laugh but you were in so much pain you genuinely wanted to cry under the mask. you let out a stifled little noise that was a mix between a laugh and a sob.
he looked down at your waist and saw that you were kind of bleeding through your suit. it was dried, but you were bleeding a little none the less. "look, i know i haven't even taken you out to dinnerrr...but you gotta tell me your address. where's your apartment at, webs?" "over on 6th street. i'm fine, i can make it there myself-" wade put a finger dramatically to your masked lips. "nope, my apartments closer. im taking you there and patchin ya up and then you can go back tomorrow, or whenever you get better. can't let my favorite spider-girl get beat up by anyone else. so you..." he picked you up gently, and rather easily, before saying, "are stuck with me!"
he genuinely was not kidding. he carried you, slung over his shoulder, all the way to his apartment which was right down the street. he quietly unlocked his door and tiptoed inside. his roommate, who he told you a lot about, was sleeping on her couch, the tv watching her. he carried you into his bedroom and set you down on the bed. his room was dirty, but not gross. just...lived in. "wade, my healing factor is gonna kick in in like, an hour. you don't have to do all of this." he already had a med kit in his hands. "well, you probably got a concussion. maybe a fractured rib. and you are giving starving, hungry, homeless cat vibes. so im gonna take care of you and feed you, and whenever your heals kick in is a plus, but it's not gonna get rid of your headache." he pulled out a jar of Tylenol. "i have a lot of...stronger pain removers, if you know what I mean, but you don't seem like that kind of girl." you pulled up your mask to your nose and took the jar from him. "well, you'd be surprised." you popped two pills into your mouth and swallowed. "oh, i already know youre a nasty little fucking freak. just raw dogging a couple of pills without gagging. gross."
he walked out and came back in with some ice packs in hand for you. "doctor deadpool is in the house, with complimentary back rub services, if need." you leaned back on his bed and sighed. "i wish it came with complimentary food services. im starved." he looked down at you and frowned. "wow, taking all the space in my bed and now youre taking my food rations. next thing you know, you're going to be asking me if you can have some money for some skims or some fuckin' hollister, arent ya?" you rolled your eyes under the mask. the tylenol had faded your headache and had started easing up the pain in your sides, but the constant yapping from the man in red had started to give you another one. "yeah, i need a sugar daddy to buy me a gouyard bag. wade, do you have like, literally any food? ill give you like, a taco bell gift card or something." he stood up from the bed and walked out the room. "i don't need any reimbursement, sweetheart!"
he walked back in a couple of minutes later with a peanut butter and jelly in hand with a glass of milk, and a half of a protein bar. "the perfect post-battle sustenance for new yorks favorite spider girl." you took the sandwich and chowed down on it. you sighed into your first bite. "good, right?" you nodded. he sat down at the edge of the bed and went on his phone, but you snapped your fingers at him. "hey, i just realized something!' you paused mid bite. "you've seen like, half of my face, and I haven't seen any of yours! that's like, totally unfair." he looked at you and you could see the cringed face he made under the mask. "you want to see my face?" you noticed he looked kinda uncomfortable. "well, if you don't want to, I guess you can't just be a pussy." you tried to joke. he sighed loudly. "ok, fine! you wanna see my face? you can see my face! my whole face!" he snatched his mask off and looked at you. he was covered in scars and a bunch of different marks. but he had such pretty eyes. and a nice pair of lips, as you discreetly found out.
"now you have to show me yours! then we'll be even!" you let out a small snicker at how petty he sounded. you slowly peeled your mask off, and saw him almost twitch for a split second.
"damn." he flatly said.
"what?" you laughed.
"oh nothing, i just think i finally just got over my ex." he casually shrugged and leaned back onto the foot of the bed, still looking at you. you rolled your eyes. "what is wrong with you, wade?" you held the ice pack he gave to you earlier and held it to your side. "hey, i just tell it how I see it. and you are prettier than death, herself." you ignored how you could feel your face heat up.
"yeah, i probably am, but you probably tell every girl you see that." you folded your arms and blew a stray strand of hair out of your face. "ok, you got me there, im might be a little bit of a man hoe and tell a lot of girls that. and dudes, i don't discriminate. but you act like i mean it when i tell other people that."
you looked down at him. "so what, you just mean it with only me? im not buying it, wilson." he threw his hands in the air exasperatedly. "bitch, you're laying on my bed, with my ice pack in your hand, digesting my sandwich, processing my fucking tylenol, breathing in my air freshener...i don't do that for many people! like, at all! the furthest i get with people is giving out a compliment! this is like, third base for me, personally!" he sighed and just stared at the ceiling. you could tell he was mad but you couldn't tell if it was serious-mad or playful-mad.
"well, fine, wade. i think you're cute too."
"and you never said thank you for the sandwich. or the part where i saved your ass."
"wade." you said as he kept rambling on as he sat up."
"or the tylenol."
"wade." he crawled up the bed towards you.
"or when i got you a glass of milk for your damn sandwich. that was really kind of me. i did that out of the sheer kindness of my sweet little heart." he was sitting next to you now.
"wade." you looked up at him as he looked down at you.
"or the part where i carried you all the way back here." he cradled your face with his clothed hand. "with these big sexy juicy muscles." his face was inches away from yours at this point.
"oh, really? you've been keeping them looking nice just for me?" you put a hand on his bicep, gently squeezing him. he probably was only a quarter joking because his arms were huge.
"yeah, maybe. was hoping one day id get to show them off to ya." he pressed his lips to yours, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. you kissed him back, adjusting yourself so you were on your side, one arm propping you up on the pillows and one hand holding wade's arm. he put his other hand on your hip, holding your waist. he kissed you deeply, moving his hand to rub on your thigh and squeeze the fat of your butt.
you responded by deepening the kiss, opening your mouth slightly as he quickly seized the opportunity and slithered his tongue into your mouth. he greedily took over your mouth, your tongues fighting and swirling against each other. you threw one of your legs over his lap, and broke the kiss, leaving him practically stunned with hearts in his eyes.
"you taste so good." he said quietly but loud enough for you to hear him. "yeah? you think it's from the pb&j from earlier?" you smiled as you straddled his lap, sitting on him. "well, whatever the hell it is, i want more of it." he held your neck before smashing his lips on you again, being needy and licking your lips before you could ever even open your mouth. he was basically fucking your mouth with his tongue at this point. you wrapped your arms around his neck as you tilted your head, giving him an even better angle to taste you. the good fuzziness you felt in your head combined with the heat growing in your stomach had you going crazy already.
you moaned, actually moaned, ever-so gently into his mouth.
he slowly backed away from you, a sinful strand of spit still hanging between you two.
"uh, yeah babe. i actually need to be inside of you. like, right now." his face was basically the same shade as a tomato. a combination of your spit and his covered his lips. he sat up fully, his back against the headrest.
"spidey, can we please fuck?" he asked while both of his hands held your waist. you could feel him ever so slightly grind into you as he gently pushed you down onto him. "wade, yes. pleaaase yes." you said with half lidded eyes. "but like...do you have any condoms?" you bit your lip as you asked. "ha! do i have any condoms...of course i got rubbers."
you gently got off of him and sat on the bed, starting the unzip your spidersuit. he rummaged through his nightstand before snapping his neck back at you. "nuh uh! im taking that sexy leotard off you. hold on..." you just kicked your shoes off the side of the bed, onto the floor.
he pulled out the box from the drawer. "a-ha! extra large!" your face went more hot than it already was. he opened it up and pulled out the packet, and set it on top of the nightstand. "hey, why do you just have a box of condoms in there?" you asked. "i dunno, maybe because im a grown ass fucking man who likes to fuck! also, if it means anything to you, the box was unopened and i haven't cracked or been cracked in like, half a year. but that doesn't mean i dont know how to get it on, so dont get any ideas!"
he first took his belt off and threw it onto the pile of clothes on the ground, guns still inside it and all. he had put his katanas away earlier. he unzipped the back zipper, and slowly pulled one arm out, and then the other. he pulled his suit down past his waist, showing his unsurprisingly chiseled abs. he then let it fall down to his ankles and kicked it off, leaving him in his boxers with his rock hard erection. he caught glimpse of how you bit your lip and watched his every move. "so, extra large, hm?" you rubbed your thighs together. "damn right. now come sit on my pretty little dick again so i can take that suit off ya, sugartits."
you sat on his lap, his back once again on the headboard of the bed, straddling his crotch. you licked a stripe up his neck, sending shivers down his spine. "damn, baby, wait a second till you start using that mouth on me again!" he found the zipper on your back, and slowly pulled it down. biting his lip, he moved the suit off of your shoulders. he was so excited like a little kid on Christmas for the big reveal but then saw you had a bra on. he sighed excitedly, making you crack a smile, while he fumbled with the clasps on your back momentarily. when he finally got them undone, he let your bra fall down, revealing your pretty breasts as he continued to pull your suit down your torso. "ughhh, you got such a pretty rack on you..." he kissed your breasts before licking your nipple, briefly flicking his tongue on it, making you jerk. "wadey..." you murmured.
you raised your hips as he slid the suit down past your crotch and down your thighs, showing a handful of fading bruises, but more importantly your soaked panties. "oo, girl, you're just a fuckin slip n' slide over here! all wet for me.." you kicked the suit off your feet as he tugged your underwear down. he slipped his fingers between your wet folds, smearing your slick all over your pussy as you gently moaned. "ughh, im fucking destroying this kitty tonight."
you got off of him as he took his boxers off as quick as he could. leaving his huge boner in front of you. you couldn't believe how perfect it was. like, it literally had the tiniest upward curve to it and a perfectly mushroomed tip. he snatched the packet open and tore it, and slipped the rubber onto himself. he sighed as he massaged his heavy balls. "baby, turn around and put your pretty ass in the air. if it's too much, just say 'i don't like this kind of fanfic!' and ill stop, but if you don't do that I'm gonna keep plowing into you, alright?" by the time he finished his sentence, he already had you head down, ass up as you lustfully smiled at him. "alright, alright! now are you gonna keep your word or not, red?"
he got onto his knees behind you and just admired the view of your ass and pussy before slipping a finger into your cunt. he dragged his finger against your tight walls, in and out, as you squeezed around just a single digit. you moaned and squeezed onto the pillow your head rested on. "y/n, you're so tight. can't even put a couple of fingers inside of you without you clenching me." he slipped another one of his scarred fingers inside of you, slowly moving them in and out as you presented yourself even more against him. "wade, i know, but i want your dick inside me right now...i promise i can take it.." you whimpered back to him, your head dizzy from it all. "i mean, if you say so, honey bunny."
he put one of his hands on your waist tightly and used his other to grip his cock. he rubbed his tip against your hole, watching how you tried to push yourself back onto him. he smiled at the sight. "such a needy little thing." he growled before slowly pushing himself into you. yeah. he was definitely extra large. you could barely take even half of him. he pushed himself inside until he was balls deep, just holding there, stretching you out. you were already a moaning mess, begging him to start thrusting into you. "wade, fuck, please, you feel so good..." you moaned, music to his ears. "i know, baby, im gonna make you cum all over me all night."
he pulled his hips back before thrusting into you again, making your ass ripple. then again. then again. slowly at first as you moaned his name. the sound of his balls slapping against you was such a filthy, foul noise that only made you feel hotter. he squeezed your hips and closed his eyes, letting out his own moans as he kept thrusting in and out, in and out of you. he slowly began to go faster and faster, bringing your waist back onto him, his tip hitting your cervix. you were throwing your head back in pure ecstacy as you could barely make a coherent sentence at that point. "fuck, wade! wade, you feel, hah- s-so good-" you said between thrusts, already feeling yourself getting close. "you gonna cum for me already? i just started, baby, you aren't getting away from me for a hot-" he slammed into you. "damn-" another thrust, deep into you, making your body quake. "minute." you squeezed around him, gushing around his dick, eyes rolling back into your head. he didn't stop. he just kept fucking your through it, but his hips did stutter when you got so tight around him.
he got to a steady pace before he leaned onto your back, lips sucking on your neck, breathing heavily onto you. his grip on your waist was so tight your wouldn't be surprised if you had more bruises by the end of the night. you were just there, unmoving, moaning, trying to keep your knees propped up as they were starting to give out. "this dick wearing you out already, babygirl? poor baby youre so dumb over my dick, cant even talk?" you nodded as he bit down onto your neck, leaving a slight imprint before kissing and licking it.
you were so tight and warm around him. as much as you were seeing stars, so was he. he moaned so loudly, you almost felt bad for the neighbors. and his roommate. you wanted to say something but it only came out something like "wade.. your rooma...ah, fuck, harder-" he put one of his hands on the back of your neck. not squeezing, not pushing, but just holding.
he kneeled back up, one hand on your neck, one hand on your waist as he felt himself getting close. "y/n, im gonna cum, fuck, im gonna cum. ughh, you're just so fucking wet and soft. please..ugh.." he trailed off as he gave you a couple of final, head splitting thrusts. he had you half screaming as you came around him again, squeezing him as your knees started to finally give out. he held your waist up, using both hands. a final needy slam had him busting. he threw his head back as he humped into you, riding out his orgasm alongside yours. "fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, it's so good. better than i ever imagined. fuck." he slipped out of you, and let out a little laugh at how you almost lifelessly plopped down on the bed, still softly moaning. he laid next to you, petting your head as you were obviously still coming down.
"so, how was it, spidey? are you gonna give the merc with a mouth five stars, or what?" he said while peeling off his condom, painted white. "it was so good. so, so good. like, ten stars. but yeah, im gonna need some more icepacks." you gently said, eliciting a little giggle out of him as you closed your eyes. You two stayed there, quiet, with breathing filling the room.
you snapped open your eyes and stared at him. "oh fucking shit." you said with your mouth hanging open. "your roommate is gonna kill you. and probably me." he laughed and slapped his knee. "oh, big al? she's gonna be fine! not the first time she's heard me moaning and groaning in here." you covered your face and groaned. "that's embarrassing." wade smiled at you. "eh. she'll get over it." the two of you laid there for a little while more before wade got up and grabbed you on of his tees.
"here, put this on. im never gonna be able to go to sleep if you don't put those milkers away." it was, and you can't make this up, a spiderwoman tee. with your logo on it. you laughed as you stared at it. " oh my gosh, are you an actual fan of me! that's so cute!" you cackled as you put it on. "yeah, maybe! wow, what are the chances? me, living in New York, wearing one of the most famous superheros in the world's unofficial merch line." he put on a fresh pair of boxers before laying next to you. "well, next time, buy from the official merch website, ok, cutie?" you booped his nose and softly laughed. "no promises, the bootleg shit is a lot cheaper.
you swung a leg over his waist and the two of the kissed more, but more gently this time. you rubbed his jaw as he slipped a hand around the small of your back. he gently slipped his tongue in, not like earlier. yo and him were just laying there, sleepily making out with each other, secreting wet, gross slurp noises.
the two of the eventually stopped after what felt like forever, and just cuddled against eachother. he found his way into your neck and just planted gentle kisses onto your collarbone. you rubbed his head, gently sighing as you started to drift off to sleep. he eventually stopped too, and the two of you just went off to sleep in each other's arms. did you two eventually get hot in the middle of the night and make your ways to opposite ends of the bed? yes. did you two also want to hold on to each other in your sleep later? yes. so eventually wade ended up spooning you.
you woke up to an empty bed. the door was ever so slightly cracked open. you put on a pair of his shorts that you found- they were huge on your, as was the shirt- but were a lot better than nothing. you walked out to see al and wade in the kitchen, both making breakfast. "oh, theres my little sexy adorable ray of sunshine!" al sighed and rubbed her head. "sometimes i really wish i was deaf." she muttered as she poured her cereal. "woman, you are just a complainer today! first you don't want my pancakes, then you don't want to hear me compliment my lady, goddamn!"
"damn right, im not eating anything that was made by your filthy, nasty hands, wilson." she barked at him before going back to her couch. "oh you're just jealous you're not getting any action, grandma. i should order a private dancer for you, but one that has a braille picture book so you can finally see a dick again!" he yelled back at her. "oh sweet fucking baby jesus-!" she yelled out, before angrily eating her cereal.
"im really sorry about last night, ma'am," you started to say to her before wade cut you off. "oh don't apologize to this old hoot! she doesn't deserve it!" you chuckled and shook your head as he gave you a plate of pancakes. "hot and wet... with syrup. just the way you like em, hopefully." you smiled and took the plate from him. "you are so sweet, thank you!" you sat down at the island and chowed down. you thought while you chewed. you really got saved last night by a ruthless mercenary AND you got fucked by him. like, fucked really good though. and it was only Tuesday. this week was off to a good slightly late start.
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thank you for reading, reblogs are appreciated :3
