Divisions are unavoidable
After living my life as a deaf person--with a little d--I’ve been inclined to delve into the world of Deaf culture and the Deaf community. Only to feel as I’ve felt for so long...like an outsider. It sucks not being a part of the hearing world, and not being a part of the Deaf world.
I mean no disrespect, but the Big D and little d stuff is intimidating. It’s a culture, a way of life--So if you’re not already a part of it, just as with any other group in the world, you have to be welcome or else you’re still just an outsider. I don’t know ASL, I don’t speak with sign language, and I’m just starting to learn to read lips and facial expressions to make out what someone is saying to me.
I didn’t need to do that stuff before because my hearing aids still helped me somewhat and were beneficial. Whereas, now, they are not. I still have so much trouble hearing while wearing a hearing aid that it’s like not wearing one at all.
Granted, my hearing aid--the one that I do wear--is ancient. It’s roughly fifteen years old, so, ya know, it’s most likely not up to par. And my hearing loss is beyond profound, so I should be wearing two hearing aids, one in each ear.
But the last time I went to the hearing doctor, he informed me that my hearing loss was now beyond the point of wearing hearing aids. After that, I kinda just quit wearing even the one I have. Especially after I had to take it to be repaired. It wasn’t the same after that.
In my newly silent environment, I’ve adapted by paying closer attention to a person’s mouth movements and facial expressions, whereas, before, I was still relying on what my hearing aid would pick up. I was still relying on sound. It’s no easy task trying to figure out what people are saying, based solely on their face and the way it moves, but I’m still learning.
But what bothers me most about the (Big D, little d)--It’s just another division. The world is already divided in so many ways. Race, creed, age, gender, sexual identity, religion, social status, political affiliations, demographic locations, and much more. It’s disheartening to find that, yes, even the Deaf culture has divisions. So, basically, it would seem that it you’re a little d...you don’t really fit into the Big Deaf community. You’re just a little d who can’t hear.
I don’t want your pity. I don’t want you feeling sorry for me. But I do want to use my voice to create awareness about all the people out there living their life like I do. Living with hearing loss or deafness, but not being a part of the hearing world, and not being a part of the Deaf world.
Let’s start a friendly, open support group where we accept each other and everyone is welcome--No matter what kind of hearing loss you live with!
Anyone interested? Drop me a line.