My husband is my worst nightmare. He is a hearie. I am a deafie. He still talks at me like I’m a hearing person. I’ve been deaf for three years. He’s never made an effort to learn sign language or write his words on paper or use his phone to show me what he’s saying. He gets upset with me because of my deafness. He blames me for our lack of communication, for my emotional difficulties I’ve experienced while dealing with the loss of sound, and he basically scolds me for feeling the way I feel and for having emotional needs due to the isolating aspect of the deafness. I crave meeting people who are the complete opposite of him. I crave to meet someone, just one person, who practices empathy and understanding. I hate my husband on most days. I dream of walking away and never looking back. I feel being married to him has been the worst experience of my life. I don’t want to be his wife. It feels more like being trapped, and I can’t stand that. I feel lonelier having him in my life. I feel isolated from love and from warmth. I feel overwhelmed being married to him. I feel overwhelmed to start over. I have nothing but the will of my dreams and the courage of my heart.
