audism is the fact that in the US cops are only legally obligated to provide an interpreter after a Deaf person is detained. this results in many Deaf people being murdered by the state for not understanding instructions at things as simple as traffic stops.
many cops make no effort to use alternative communication with Deaf people even after we have identified ourselves as Deaf.
audism is also the fact that our signing is considered threatening and something that warrants murder. audism is the fact that our signing is labeled as gang signs and is used to justify murdering us. (and, for the record, actual gang signs also don't justify murder)
audism is the way Deaf people are accused of lying to "get out of things" when we identify ourselves as Deaf.... which is then used to deny us accommodations like interpreters or written communication.
audism is the fact that multiple Deaf people (mostly unhoused) have been murdered in my city alone in the last 5 years under the premises of "refusing to follow instructions" and "threatening hand gestures" and "gang signs." audism is the fact that Deaf people (and especially multiply marginalized Deaf people such as Black Deaf people) disproportionately experience police brutality even when it isn't lethal.
Absolute long shot on this website but does anyone have any resources for reliably sourcing hearing aid batteries that aren't unreasonably marked up in price? My hearing aids are well out of warranty now and my audiologist is selling them at a massive markup (they were up front about it at least) and my insurance doesn't cover my hearing aids or batteries. I have literally one battery left and both my hearing aids are dead so I've just been stumbling my way through existence for the last couple weeks.
They're size 312 and I live in Canada if that's useful information?
[Thank you for all the ideas! I've turned reblogs off now that I have some starting points]
hey i really love your stories, esp the chronic illness, is there any chance you could write a hard of hearing, epileptic (post traumatic epilepsy) with elhers danlos syndrome reader with jack abbot, something very hurt comfort style if it’s not too much trouble? thank you so much 🩷
hiii my darling there you go <3 Thank you for loving my stories 🥹
Pairing: Jack abbot x reader!phlebotomist, besties with John Shen
Summary: as above, use of nickname initially, no physical description of the reader, the reader is female, Jack is super silly, nervous, doesn't know how to talk to women and gets bemotional
Word count: 6.4k
TW/Tags: expect anything medical you would typically see on the pitt, injury, mention of seizure
Notes:
I've picked the level of hearing loss as mild to moderate, so the reader relies on lip reading, can hear some sounds in a quiet room only if truly focused on the conversation, reader does not wear hearing aids, and struggles in loud enviornments
Anything that is written in italics is an action that is carried out, which the reader cannot hear.
Anything that is written in italics and bold is a conversation carried out in sign language.
I am sorry I did not include much of EDS, but it is mentioned.
Masterlist here - i've written two fics about EDS :)
@lacy1986
⋆ ──── ♡ ──── ⋆
"Bunny" was your nickname in the ER because you were the quickest, most energetic phlebotomist on site. Someone suggested the name quickie, which you thought you had misheard initially. You immediately asked them to rethink the nickname, and it may have taken them a few seconds to think it through. Luckily for you, the nickname didn't stick.
So you, Bunny, everyone's favourite and the one who can get blood drawn out of a rock, always anticipated a busy shift.
Whenever there was a crisis, Bunny would be there to the rescue.
Whenever someone had difficult veins at risk of collapsing, Bunny would be called in.
But on some days, you were too quick for Jack Abbot to stop and talk to you.
⋆ ──── ♡ ──── ⋆
On your olive-green scrubs, you had a little badge that read, if I can't see your lips, I can't hear you. But most people ignored it anyway, and you didn't really expect anyone to stare at your chest that closely.
Today, you were covering the night shift, and your attending was not Shen, who usually covered. But today’s attending was Jack Abbot. The doctor you avoided whenever you saw him remotely approach you, because the man intimidated you. He had this look in his eyes, an unsettling stare that you weren't sure what to make of.
But he, on the other hand, unknown to you, was desperate to talk to you. He stared because he admired you, but Jack was not caught up with modern ‘dating'. (Even the olden times dating didn’t involve staring). He hadn't crushed on anyone since his late wife, and whenever he tries to speak to you, something gets in the way.
So you were indeed too quick for him, and he could never catch you.
As for the other attending, Shen, with whom you instantly clicked the moment you met him and became best friends. And then, when he told you he knew sign language, your friendship took a whole new turn. You often shared jokes across the ER floor, out in the open, and you were certain no one would know what you two signed.
The form of communication from the other staff to get your attention was to simply wave you down or text you. Your watch buzzed with a simple question, asking you to come see them. It was simple, and it worked. Your main issue was background noise across the floor, but once you were in a quiet room, you could focus on the person ahead of you.
Central 11 had a male patient, who was certainly being tested for alcohol levels because you could smell it on him the moment you walked into the room.
"Mr Smith? I'm here to take your blood. Is that okay?" He nods, and luckily for you, he is not in a talkative mood. You wheel in your trolley, lay out all the equipment on the tray and begin prepping his arm.
Someone knocks on the door, then heavy footsteps follow into the room. The patient mumbles something to the person behind you but you were too busy focused on the task ahead so you don't hear them. "Mr Smith" Jack says, "Your chart says you're on blood thinners, so we're gonna need more blood from you."
"Take it all." He slurs his words.
"Bunny?" Jack asks. Jack knew what your real name is, but Lena referred to you as Bunny and he didn’t question the nickname, so he just went with that.
"I don't think she can hear you" the patient says.
"Bunny? It's Dr Abbot?" he approaches you.
You tape up the patient's arm, putting the vials on the tray as you turn around and see Dr Abbot standing there, not quite staring but also looking with wide eyes. "Oh, hi Dr Abbot! Sorry didn't see you there."
Jack shoots you a small smile, with a slight hint of confusion. "Sorry I was talking to you. Did you see about the extra bloods we need?"
"I have it all on my chart" you approach him slowly with the blood form.
"It was updated a minute ago" Jack says, "Did you...not hear me?"
Feeling flustered and somewhat embarrassed, you sign "sorry" by making a fist on your chest and moving it clockwise, then gesture to your ear, and say, “hard of hearing"
Jack then sees the badge on your chest, and he instantly blushes in embarrassment. Suddenly, the room feels too small, and Jack feels the patient's eyes on him as he tries to say something, but then nothing comes out. A moment passes as you stare at Jack, waiting for something. Anything. He rubs his face and quickly says, “Shoot, so sorry I didn't know. I didn't mean to come across as rude!"
You have truly no idea what he just said but you manage a smile and a nod. And given your reaction, Jack was certain he has upset you.
“I’ll grab more equipment for the extra bloods” you give him a small smile and grab your trolley and head out of the door, telling the patient you will be back.
The rest of the shift goes as expected, except this time, Jack wouldn’t stop looking at you. He now smiles whenever your eyes meet, and you aren't sure if he is still embarrassed about the interaction or if he is… being nice? You see Shen at the hub, and you instantly smile at the surprise because you thought he wasn’t working today.
You sign: Where’s your coffee?
Shen: finished it too early. So sad
You laugh at him. that’s terrible news. Hope you recover
Shen signs as he smirks: how’s the shift?
What have you heard?
His eyes meet Jack’s, who stands on the other side of the hub.
oh God what was said?
Shen: he’s embarrassed
You roll your eyes: it was nothing
Shen: he’s moping
You snort and Jack shoots you both a look. He doesn’t stare at your conversation, knowing it would be incredibly rude, but he keeps stealing glances between the two of you, curious to know more. Because Jack was instantly and incredibly jealous of Shen, also wondering if anything was going on between the two of you.
You: he scares me
Shen: what! He’s like the nicest dude ever
he stares and sometimes forgets to blink
Shen shoots you a lazy smirk then signs: maybe he has a crush
You say out loud unexpectedly, “no! Don’t say that!”
Everyone now looks at the two of you, and your eyes meet Shen’s and you instantly laugh. You sign: asshole before turning your back to him, taking one last look at Jack who was of course, looking at you.
Maybe Jack Abbot isn't so intimidating.
Maybe he is a big cuddly bear that had a tendency to… stare.
⋆ ──── ♡ ──── ⋆
“Dude what’s up with the staring?” Shen nudges Jack one night as he sees him looking at you in the distance.
He mumbles in protest, “That’s how I look”
“I’ve never ever seen you look like this.”
Jack looks flustered, and Shen had never seen his cheeks this pink before “Oh my god, man”
“What!”
“You don’t know how to talk to women?”
“I’m… it’s not that!” But before Jack can get any more defensive, knowing that Shen will easily clock in on it, “yeah okay, I don’t know how to talk to women. And my first proper interaction with her, I looked like an idiot. And have you seen how pretty she is? She's way out of my league. Then I start thinking about that, and I start spiralling and-”
“Maybe less staring, more talking, calmly” Shen cuts in sarcastically. "She's nice, easy to talk to too."
“Yeah, okay, I’ll try that.” Jack doesn’t look him in the eye. “but what do I say?”
“Be yourself!” Shen says before rushing off, “maybe get her a coffee?”
Jack spends a lot of time mentally rehearsing what he wants to say to you and occupies himself with many tasks, yet he can’t focus on anything because today, you were everywhere. You have been moved to the night shift, and Jack was ecstatic about it, but also nervous because this means more chances of making himself look like a fool.
He walks up to you, after rehearsing a speech in his head, but all he manages is a “hi”.
Your heart does a little flip; weeks ago, that little flip was intimidation, but after watching Jack across the floor many times and making small talk, you realise how nervous he gets and how nice he is. “Hello, Dr Abbot”
“How are you?” Jack instantly cringes at how awkward he is.
“I’m good, thank you” you smile, “do you… need anything?”
“A cup of coffee” he blurts out, then watches your reaction as it turns into confusion. “Me! Me, I was going to make me a cup of coffee, not for you to make one”
You just about make up what’s he’s saying, because he starts to talk far too quickly for you to lip read. He says a bit slower now, in his usual tone, “I was wondering if you would like a hot drink? With me?”
“Uhh”
“Not like a date! Oh my God, I’m not like asking you out or anything.”
Your eyes flick over at Shen, who’s failing at holding down a giggle, as he sees the two of you. He doesn’t know what the conversation is about, but it is obvious how flustered Jack is.
“I mean, maybe not now but maybe like one day?” Jack says again, and he itches the back of his head at how silly he sounds. “What I’m trying to say is would you like a hot drink?”
You fight down a giggle at how cute and awkward he is, “I’d love a hot drink”
“Okay, okay that’s good” Jack smiles widely before walking away from you.
You sign to Shen: he asked me if I wanted a hot drink
Shen: that’s progress
he didn’t even ask me what drink I want!
Shen’s laughs are heard loud and clear, and luckily for you Jack was nowhere near. You shake your head as you let out a laugh yourself and go back to your patients.
Jack Abbot was nowhere to be seen for the rest of the night.
⋆ ──── ♡ ──── ⋆
Jack occupied your mind a lot more recently, especially after the few clumsy but adorable interactions you had. Working the night shift is different; weirder, wilder but also fun working most days with Shen, and also Abbot. He is indeed a really nice guy. A nervous one, actually, and maybe that’s why he used to stare. So you decided to approach him today and hoped that he wouldn’t… pass out. You see him disappear into the break room, so you follow.
Shen, of course, who seems to be everywhere but not with patients, signs: good luck. You give him the middle finger as you smile teasingly.
Jack instantly smiles as he sees you walk into the room. He immediately grabs his stethoscope and starts fidgeting with it. It turns out you intimidate him, and not the other way around. “Dr Abbot”
“Jack”
“Sorry, Jack” you smile, “how are you?”
“Me? I’m good, really good” he blurts out.
You bite your lip at his cuteness. “The cafeteria upstairs is open, so I was wondering if you wanted that hot drink?”
Jack’s lips part slightly, but then silence follows for a few seconds. “Dr Abbot are you okay?”
“Mm-me?” He runs his hand through his curls, “I’d love… that hot drink. I'm sorry I never asked you again but it's been busy and I keep getting flustered and-"
“Jack” you gesture of him to slow down, “you talk too quickly and I need to lip read.”
“Sorry” he says very quietly and you say, “Maybe louder?”
“I keep messing this up don’t I?”
“That — that was perfect tone” you giggle, “just keep talking normally”
“I’m sorry” he blurts out, “I’m… never mind. Hot drink?”
“Yes please”
You step into the elevator, and Jack starts talking, but he doesn’t look directly at you. He's too shy to look you in the eye and found himself getting too flustered and making a fool of himself. You turn to face him fully, watching his lips as he speaks so you can follow. You notice how often he bites down on his bottom lip when he’s nervous.
The elevator door opens, and someone from behind says, “excuse me” but you don’t hear them. Jack gently places a hand on your waist, guiding you lightly out of the way. A move so simple but Jack thought his heart was going to explode.
You sign: thank you.
He smiles, “of course” as he drops his hands down.
Your quick coffee run with Jack went better than you expected, because once he sat down and calmed down, he seemed to be himself a bit more. However, you noticed how he overthought every move, kept apologising for it, then got flustered again. He asked about you and was interested to know more. You told him how you lost your hearing, a traumatic brain injury that caused epilepsy, too. Jack's reaction was not what you expected. It wasn’t sympathy or surprise. It was normal. There was no titling of the head, no furrowing of the eyebrows sympathetically and no upside-down sad frown.
Your stomach flipped in excitement at how normally he reacted. He saw you just like anyone else.
Over time, you realised how you had misunderstood Jack so much. He was the complete opposite of his staring habits. Now that you two interacted a bit more, there was a lot less “staring” and more softer glances. But there was also more flirting from Jack. He had come out of his shell a lot, and with every opportunity, he’d flirt. He checked on you throughout shifts, always found an excuse to bring you coffee, even when you didn’t need it, and made a habit of driving you home after long nights. You've also been out on a few casual dates, mostly after work for breakfast. The dating stage was no longer awkward. It was fun, easy and exciting.
But he also sometimes forgot you were hard of hearing and would do silly things like come up behind you and gently put a hand on your lower back. You startled in response, and Jack would instantly swear at himself and say he messed up. Another time, you passed by him down an empty hallway, and he whistled. You of course, don't hear it, but you saw the shape of his lips curl. “Are you whistling right now?”
“You look so damn good today! I mean, you look gorgeous every day, but today, damn” Jack smirks as his eyes look you up and down. “oh wait. You didn’t hear me whistle.”
You giggle as you shake your head.
“Oh for fuck—“
“It’s okay” you say softly as you approach him, “it’s the thought that counts”
“I really need to get out of my head and just act normal”
"You're being...normal"
"I'm being an idiot" Jack felt his cheeks flush, and he was well aware that you could see them. He had fallen for you so quickly that it scared him, and the feeling only grew stronger every day. He was desperate for more of you... more time, more conversations and more of everything. "I like you a lot, but I don't know how to be myself, or maybe i'm trying to be a better version of myself. I just... don't know."
You close the distance between the two of you completely, and Jack murmurs something but you shake your head at him, as if to say, can’t hear you. Without another word, he gently cups your face with both hands, thumbs resting along your jaw. Softly and slowly, you press your face against his and kiss him. Jack kisses you back with quiet intensity, despite the heat running through him wanting much more. His thumb brushes gently over your cheek, then slowly trails down to your neck as he pulls you a little closer. You wouldn’t be able to hear if anyone approaches, so you trust Jack to be the one to tell you. As you pull back, you say, “Maybe this will get you out of your head.”
Jack licks his lips and rasps out, “Sweetheart I think this will make things much worse for me”
You turn your back to him, giggle to yourself and skip back to the ER. As you look at him over your shoulder, Jack has one hand braced on the wall, head slightly bowed as he tries to steady his breathing.
He clearly needs a moment.
⋆ ──── ♡ ──── ⋆
Jack waves you down one night to ask you to take blood from a patient who was difficult to bleed. You introduce yourself to the patient, who is not interested in the slightest and seems in a bad mood.
"That's disgusting," he mumbles as you inform him you'd be taking blood from his foot, and Jack, as well as Jesse, both shoot him a warning look.
You clean the foot, tourniquet it and as you lean in with the needle, you tell the patient sharp scratch. The moment the needle touches his foot, the patient yells and kicks you in the right shoulder.
Jack reacts instantly, "WOW, HEY!" as he moves over to your side, blocking the patient from getting to you.
"Bitch!" the patient says, but you can't hear him.
You drop the needle to the floor, feeling yourself lose grip in your right hand and stumble back in pain.
"Hey, you okay? I've got you," Jack wraps his hands around your waist to steady you. He looks back at everyone in the room, and the patient, "get him restrained, NOW!"
"Let's get you out of here okay?"
You nod in shock and you let him lead you into an empty room.
You're shaking at the shock of it, and you cry at the pain you are in as he helps you onto the bed. He cups your face, "Sweetheart, you're safe, I've got you"
You stare at his lips, reading them as best you could through the pain, and whimper, "it hurts so much"
"I'll get you something for the pain, I promise," He says, "but first I need to check your shoulder"
Shen storms into the room and signs, "what happened!?"
Words don't come out but instead, you sob in pain.
Jack turns his face away from you, "She can't sign, John, a patient kicked her in the shoulder"
"Fuck alright, what do you need?"
"Sweetheart, John's gonna sign; I can't keep facing you when I'm working, okay?"
"I'm gonna sign while Jack works"
You nod.
"How bad is the pain?"
"A million out of ten" you cry out in pain, "Jack? I have EDS, so it's popped out. I'm certain it has."
"Okay, that's okay. I can fix it."
You look at Shen waiting for him to sign it back. Shen smirks playfully, and signs "he's very stressed"
You let out a watery laugh through your tears.
"Tell her I need to feel under her top, so I can feel the joint"
"I heard that" you say softly.
Jack ushers you to lean back on the bed as he slides one hand under your top, feeling your shoulder. You feel the slight trembling of his hands as he feels the socket, where the joint is clearly dislocated.
"Alright, sweetheart” Jack says, trying to keep calm so you can read his lips easily, despite his heart hammering in his chest and making it difficult for him to keep still, “I’m going to pop it back in. Do you want pain relief first or get it out of the way?"
"Just do it, please." Dislocating your joints is no stranger to you, but it mostly happened when you were younger. As you got older, you became a lot more careful, avoiding any activities that would cause an injury.
"It’s going to hurt for a few seconds, but then the pressure should ease right away. I’ve done this a lot. Do you trust me?" Jack isn't so certain he is trusting himself in this moment.
"Of course I do"
Jack positioned himself carefully, one hand supporting your arm, the other on your shoulder. "Take a deep breath for me… good. On the exhale, I’m going to do it. Ready?"
Shen signs everything back to you and Jack waits for the nod. Shen signs inhale, and just as Jack sees you exhale he pops your shoulder back.
You cry out in pain as your body tenses up on the bed. "I’ve got you, I’ve got you" Jack murmurs, immediately pulling you forward into his chest. He wraps his arms around you, one hand cradling the back of your head. "It’s back in. You did so well, baby. So good." You heard parts of what Jack has said.
You bury your face in his neck, breathing shakily as the worst of the pain slowly began to fade. Jack pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head and kept holding you tight. "I’m right here. Just breathe. The worst part is over."
You look over at Shen, who signs, “He says the worst part is over. He’s got you.”
You mouth, thank you before he leaves the room.
Jack pulls back, cupping your face, "I'm sorry I didn't react quicker."
"No, no" you sniffle, "Jack this is not your fault"
"But it is. I asked you to go in there. It's my fault this has happened."
"Hey, don't think that? it could have happened to anyone and i'm okay"
Jack's expression is full of worry, and despite your reassuring words, he doesn't look convinced. He wipes your tears away, resting his forehead on yours. "I'm so sorry, i'm never going to forgive myself."
You pull his lips toward you, but Jack pulls back. "No, I- I can't. You're hurt because of me"
He shifts off the bed, and you try and reach for him, "Jack I promise you i'm okay"
There was no stopping your tears as you see him get upset too. "You don't believe me"
He rubs his temples, he says voice shaking, "if I didn't ask you to go in there then you would be hurt. This is all my fault." But before you can respond, Jack rushes out of the room. You shift off the bed quickly, instantly feeling dizzy, and you steady yourself before you walk out of the room. You needed to find him, needed to reassure him, but before you could react, the overwhelmingness of everything that had happened caught up with you. You stumble as you stand outside the room, fighting against the dizziness which has now intensified, and you catch eyes with Shen. You sign, seizure, before the smell of burning fills your nostrils, and you no longer remember anything.
Shen runs across the floor, quickly putting one hand under your head, which is now jolting across the cold, hard floor.
"Get me a trauma room prepped!" he yells, "and someone find Jack!" Once the seizing stopped, Shen turns you over to recovery position, anticipating another one. He had seen you have one before, and usually a second one followed.
Jack comes rushing with a look of terror on his face. "Fuck! what! i was gone for like 2 minutes!"
"She had a seizure"
"Why haven't you moved her yet!"
Your body starts jolting again, and Shen gently moves you back on your back, ushers for Jack to move away, as he moves his hand back under your head. "Someone get me a gurney please," Shen says calmly, "I'm not anticipating a third one"
Jack feels utterly helpless as he watches you seize on the floor. He couldn't cry, not now, not in front of everyone. He couldn't break down like this. You are moved into one of the trauma rooms, and one of the nurses who hadn't worked with you before taps your face and asks, "Hello, can you hear me?"
Jack cut in, "She won't be able to hear you, she's hard of hearing. Shen, how many times has this happened before?"
"Not many, but only when she's stressed. Sometimes out of the blue." They both work together as they attach monitors on you, in case a third one follows.
"Fuck" Jack's voice cracks and there is no hiding his anxious emotions, "this is a fucking nightmare"
"Abbot, no offence, but calm down right now" Shen bites back. He was understandably also stressed, but this wasn't all unfamiliar to him.
"I'm trying man but I feel like my heart is about to blow the fuck up!"
Shen watches Jack's hands tremble as he works. "She's waking up, Abbot, take over"
Jack's lips part in protest but what he sees next was not something he had ever thought of. Jack realised in that moment that he had so much more to learn about you, and anyone who is hard of hearing and also epileptic.
Shen signs, "can you see me?"
You wake up, vision all blurry, and hearing had now all gone. You make out that it's Shen standing next to you, so you reach for his hand. You open up his palm, resting yours in it, as if to say, can't sign.
Shen didn't know much of tactile sign language, nor did you. It was a language you both decided to learn together, in case something like this happens. All you have learnt so far is the alphabet, and that was more than enough for now. He signs in your palm, "U O K"
You sign back, "yes"
He looks at Jack, "she's okay."
In TCL, he signs, "Pain?"
You mumble, "just my shoulder"
Eyes?
You point at them and mumble again, "Blurry"
wait, five
"Okay. Where's Jack?"
He reaches for your hands, and through the blurry vision you can see him say something. "I'm here sweetheart, i'm here."
"We'll give you two a minute" Shen says, ushering for everyone to leave the room.
Jack pulls a stool next to the bed, takes your hand between both of his, pressing soft kisses to your knuckles. You reach for his face and feel his wet tears, then feel his lips start to quiver.
"I'm okay" you say weakly.
But Jack doesn't respond, instead he continues to cry.
"The worst is over"
Jack moves your hand over to his face as he nods so you can feel it. You brush your hand on the back of his head and pull him towards you, finally stealing that kiss you desperately wanted an hour ago. You mumble, "i'm okay", as you feel his warm tears on your own face.
Once your vision is back to usual, you were now able to lip-read but Jack on the other hand, doesn't say anything. "I can see you now"
"Welcome back" he says, forcing a smile he doesn't feel, "that was fucking terrifying."
You give him a tired smile, "I'm used to it"
"How do you feel? What can I do to make this easier?"
"Nothing, Jack" you say softly, "I need some time to recover because i'm feeling pretty rough."
"I'm taking you home once you feel up to it," Jack says, "Is that okay?
"But will you stay over? And not leave?"
He lights up with a genuine smile this time, "Of course, I'm not going anywhere."
On the drive home, Jack's eyes bounced between the road and you, and he held your hand tightly. "My fingers are going numb"
"What? why?" Jack says quickly, "Do you feel ill do-?"
You giggle at how flustered he is again, "Jack you're squeezing my hand so tightly."
His grip loosens as he whispers, "sorry".
It was Jack's first time coming over to your apartment, and you were, of course, nervous to have him around. He doesn’t leave your side as promised as you make breakfast for the two of you. He watches you like a piece of porcelain that is about to break. He wasn't doing it because he thought you were weak; instead it was because he looked at you like something precious that he could lose at any moment. And he really wants you in his life got a long time because he is so madly in love.
He asks about how you manage your epilepsy while living alone. “I just do” you shrug, “I have no other option."
“Can you sit down? Please?” He says nervously, “I need to talk about something.”
"But breakfast," you protest jokingly.
He tilts his head playfully as he gestures for you to sit on the chair. “I like you, like a lot. I haven’t felt this way about someone since my wife." Jack thought telling you how much he loves you, this soon into dating, would scare you away. So for now, he opted for 'i like you'. You watch as his lips slightly tremble as he says, "But this is different and new and I keep messing it up.”
“You’re not messing anything up Jack”
“But I feel like I do. And what happened today-”
“Was not your fault!”
“I walked out of the room, and then you had a seizure. And that’s something I’ll regret for the rest of my life. It was all my fault, and I will make it up to you for the rest of my life. I promise I’m never gonna do that again, okay?”
Heat flushes on your cheeks as you reach out for his soft hands, “It's okay to... be nervous. But I like the sound of you wanting to make it up to me"
He bites on his lips again and it's obvious he's nervous again. "Now, I have to say something, so bear with me…" he lets go of your hands and closes his eyes for a moment to focus. He signs, "I like you."
You giggle at how cuteness.
"What- What did I do it wrong?"
"No! No it’s cute!! I like you too, Jack."
"That's good. That's great actually." Jack grins. He signs, "Can I kiss you now?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
Walking into work, after spending the day with Jack, curled up in his arms, was a whole different feeling. There was a smug smile on both of your faces, and it was far too obvious what you two were up to. So no one really questioned the status of your relationship anymore.
From that day onward, you didn't try to hide it, and neither did he. Jack was ecstatic when you agreed to make things official, and he was certainly a different man. He was lighter, a lot less flustered and certainly so much happier.
But he was a protective man.
He worried about you every single minute. He was constantly checking in, asking how you were, making sure you were drinking and taking breaks.
"Jack" you wrap your arms around him, "can you stop worrying?"
"No, not really?" he frowns at the ridiculous question, "that's literally my job."
You lean in and brush your nose against his, "maybe... I need to start helping you to relax more often?"
"Here? now?"
"No! of course not!" you giggle, "at home!"
"About that..." Jack clears his throat, and gestures to the bed, "can you... sit down please."
"You have your serious voice on..."
"I want to ask you something," Jack says nervously again. He signs, "Will you move with me"
A smile breaks across your face, and you are almost certain he meant move in, not move. "Just to clarify... you're asking me to move? or move in?"
"Move in!" Jack blurts, "With me. Move with me. In! God dammit. Come live with me is what I am trying to say."
"Jack..." you tilt your head and reach out for him. Once he links your hands in his you pull him in, and he stumbles and falls on top of you on the hospital bed. For a moment, you both forget you were in the middle of work and get lost in each other's lips until Shen interrupts. Jack pulls away in a heartbeat, and you flinch as you don't hear him come in.
"Sorry" he signs, but his grin isn't sorry whatsoever, "I hope you're using protection"
"Ew stop!" you snap at him and Jack stands there, clueless.
"Right then, best get back to work. I'll uhh.. catch up with you later?" Jack says quickly, avoiding looking at Shen, "Good to see you, John."
"Yeah... you too," he smirks. Once Jack leaves, he says teasingly, "So... is it official?"
"He asked me to move in with him."
"Oh..
"Oh what!"
"Oh he's so in loooove"
"Shut up John" you move off the bed and straighten up your scrubs. "I've not said yes!"
"Why the hell not!"
You ignore him as you walk out of the room and he follows. He signs from across the floor, "Bunny and Jack Rabbit. It's meant to be!"
You sign back, "that's actually super cute."
"he loves you! don't be stupid."
Jack watches the two of you, and he understands when you sign, "I love him too."
From that moment on, Jack was on cloud nine for the rest of the shift. He couldn’t wait to finally tell you he loves you out loud. He had set himself mental reminders to check in on you during the shift, and as he looks at the time, he realises he is long overdue. He grabs you a hot drink and walks around between rooms, trying to find you.
You are covering triage, rushing in between rooms and moving fast, completely focused on tasks. As you lean in to take blood from one of the patients in a triage room, another patient steps behind you and talks to you. You couldn't hear his angry tone or what he's saying. The patient on the bed tries to warn you, but you don't hear any of it. Suddenly, the angry patient grabs your shoulder hard. You turn around in shock, not expecting a strong grip from a tall, big-built, angry guy. So naturally, you let out a scream just as Jack approaches the room.
Jack doesn't hesitate to run toward you and the man who is now cornering you. Chaos erupts instantly as Jack shields you from the man who throws a punch at him. Luckily, Jack ducks in time, except for the hot drink that spills all over his chest and scrubs. You scream in fear, and everyone rushes into the room just as the patient runs out, and the patient in the phlebotomy chair is rushed out too.
"Did he hurt you? What did he do" Jack's now scanning you, looking for any injuries.
You shake your head, "no but he hurt you!"
"No, sweetheart, he didn't I promise he didn't touch me!"
"No, no he- he-" your voice breaks into hiccuping sobs, "no he punched you didn't he?"
"Everyone alright in here?" someone asks, and Jack ignores them.
"Are you okay? Please just try and remember, did he hurt you?" Jack says softly, and you can just about make out the words.
"I think" you feel it come on, "i thin i'm go-"
Jack instantly grabs you and lays you on the floor as you start seizing.
He knows he can't hold you in his arms, so all he does is put his hand under your head as you jolt. He whispers to you, "i'm here and you're safe. It's gonna pass in a minute."
He can't stop himself as one hand slowly caresses your head until your body goes limp. "You're okay. We're okay, baby. Just breathe through it."
"Can someone get a room prepped, please?" Jack says without taking his eyes off you. He anticipates another seizure, which doesn't come so you're quickly carried into a room.
A few minutes pass of Jack sitting next to you in bed, waiting for you to wake up. Despite his anxiety and the overwhelming feeling of nausea, he says softly, "you’re not alone. I’m right here with you."
But a few more minutes pass of you still fast asleep. "She's not waking up Shen. Why is she not waking up!"
"Jack sometimes it takes longer-"
"How long!" Jack was no longer a doctor in this moment. He was your boyfriend, Jack, whose fear had taken over him the moment he thought you got hurt.
"You know it doesn't work that way"
His voice breaks, "but you- you've seen her seizures right? She usually has another one, then wakes up!"
"I'll hook up EEG and EKG. It'll give us a better picture."
In the minutes that followed, Jack was in so much agony as he waited for you to wake up. That didn't stop him from talking to you, though, even if he knew that you couldn't hear him. He gently stroked your face with his thumb until he saw your eyes twitch.
"Shen" he kicks off his chair, "She uhh she's waking up. Hi, hi sweetheart."
"Not again." You grumble, "Shit"
"Can you see me?" Shen signs.
You nod, "yeah"
Jack lets out a nervous sigh, "okay, that's uhh... good."
"My job here is done then. You're in good hands," Shen whistles casually as he leaves the room.
"Jack you're burnt" you reach over to his chest, "you need to get checked out."
"You don't need to worry about me." Jack couldn't care less about himself. "Let's focus on you. All I care about is you and nothing else. Did the man hurt you? in the room?"
You shake your head, "he just startled me that's all."
"I'm sorry that happened" Jack doesn't try and fight his tears.
"I have to tell you something"
"We can talk later" Jack cuts in, "it's okay, just rest"
"No, no let me talk."
"Please don't get stressed out again, please just rest and-"
"Jack Abbot shut up!" He instantly freezes, "Just listen to me!"Stop worrying so much, I'm not going anywhere, Jack!
Despite his anxiety, a small smile breaks across his face.
"I want to move in with you."
"Seriously!"
"Yes seriously, but you have to tone the worrying down a bit."
"Oh baby it's gonna get a lot worse for you." He leans in, "i'm gonna be there all the time,"
You giggle as you pull him toward you, "like all the time?"
"All the God damn time, baby." He gives you a hot and messy kiss. "You're never getting rid of me."
"When you say all the time... Shower?"
"Yep."
"Cooking?"
"I'll be there cooking, helping, chopping, kissing in between tasks... all of it.."
"Cleaning?"
"We'll get someone to do that...so we can be occupied with something else."
"Like... what?"
"Can I take you home and show you?"
You nod excitedly.
"Oh and by the way," Jack smirks before he signs: "I love you too."
Herb Guide: Deaf Warriors and Hearing Disabilities
UPDATE 1: Added more harshness to the lipreading section based on initial feedback; minor rewording of some lines!
A reference for Warrior Cats fans creating characters with hearing loss, blending human advice with cat biology, written for an in-universe perspective on living with and managing such disabilities.
AKA Bonefall casts Spell of Stop Being Weird About Snowkit on all amoebas in 500 mile radius
[ID: A headshot of three cats, a brown tabby with a shredded ear (Strikestone), a solid white cat with blue eyes (Stonewing), and a gray cat with a mane (Dovewing).]
In the five Clans, hearing loss is both one of the most common sensory disabilities, and one of the most intense to adapt to. Through any mix of simple infections, birth abnormalities, or even just getting older, any given Clan can expect at least 1 in 4 of its cats to have some form of hearing loss.
Hearing loss is any impaired ability to hear, defined as not being able to hear noises under 20 decibels. Deafness is "profound" hearing loss, which means their hearing STARTS at a noise that is 81 decibels (ex: motorcycle, middle-distant clap of thunder) or louder. Most deaf people can still hear slightly, but sound is "muffled" and they can only hear VERY loud noises.
Hearing loss = Any impaired ability to hear. Normal hearing is 20 DB or lower.
Hard of Hearing (HOH) = Mild to severe hearing loss; starts between 21 DB and 95 DB.
Deaf = Profound hearing loss at 95 DB or higher; a clap of thunder is a quiet whisper.
MOST hearing loss will affect one ear more strongly than the other, and the cat will be HOH. The vast majority of cats with a hearing disability will still be able to understand their Clanmates, if they're just spoken to louder and more clearly. Cats who are born deaf (congenital deafness), however, tend to have profound hearing loss which affects their ability to understand speech.
Cats rely on their hearing and sense of smell much more strongly than they do on their eyesight. With hearing that's 4x more sensitive than a human's and can differentiate between 1/10th of a pitch, a Clan's healer would recognize hearing loss as a disability long before humans would even notice a problem.
Since hearing loss starts with the high-pitch noises that prey makes, like squeaks and chirps, hearing loss is a major reason for a senior warrior to begin to consider retirement. However, with proper support and accommodation, ANY warrior could adapt to this disability; Especially cats born deaf and younger HOH warriors with lots of time to re-learn.
This guide covers;
Common Causes
Traits and Challenges of Hearing Loss
Communication: Signs, lipreading, and more
Unique Challenges Clan-by-Clan
Sources are linked in a separate post, here, and linked again at the very bottom!
(note: this guide doesn't cover devices of any kind, but one of many reasons why cochlear implants are controversial is because an implant will destroy that remaining hearing. They aren't hearing aids; hearing aids amplify sound. Aids and implants are two different things)
Common Causes
There are DOZENS of ways to destroy the incredibly sensitive ears of a cat. ANY infection or injury can lead to permanent damage. That can include,
Injury gone sour, from battle, hunting, accidents, etc
Concussion, or a hard enough blow to the ear
Ear Mites, especially if the cat can't stop scratching it
Swimming in cold or dirty river water
Fungal or bacterial infections
Allergies, which can lead to sinus infections. Even an infection in the mouth or throat can spread to the ear!
There doesn't even need to be an infection. Around the ages of 7 - 11, a senior warrior may begin to gradually lose their hearing. Sometimes, through genetic factors or degenerative disease within the ear, an even younger warrior will lose it for "no reason."
It just happens, and it's incredibly common. They will usually begin to notice it when they stop being able to hear and hunt small rodents, because hearing loss will start with high-pitched noises.
Healers can do very little about this, besides attempting to clean any wax out of the ear canal with flax oil and a dab (such as moss, wool, or cloth). There are SO many ways for it to happen and so little in the way of treatments, that it's practically inevitable.
The majority of hearing loss is from infection or disease, but the most predictable way to see deafness in the Clans is in kits born white with blue eyes. In fact, ALL pure white cats are more prone to being born deaf!
Pure white without blue eyes: 17% to 22%
White with a single blue eye: 40%
(and usually on the side of the blue eye)
White with two blue eyes: 65% to 85%
In an afflicted kit, the inner ear will rapidly degenerate. They typically lose most of their hearing by their 4th day, and will only be able to faintly hear extremely loud noises.
Of course, there's also various other birth defects that can result in deaf and HOH kits, even if they aren't white with blue eyes. The ear canal and hearing organs can just not form correctly! Any kit could be born with hearing loss, and they can have any type!
If the loss came from injury or severe infection, chronic pain in the inner ear is also common. Nothing can be done about this besides painkillers such as poppy seeds. This condition is rare in born-deaf cats.
Most cats with hearing loss will also permanently hear a repetitive, single-note sound. For most it's a faint, tinny "ring," but others can hear hissing, crackling, or humming in high or low pitch.
At first, this constant noise can be distracting or even debilitating, preventing them from focusing or sleeping, until... you just get used to it.
There is no way to turn the noise off. It can get worse or better, but it's forever. Sleeping and not being stressed out will help, but over time, they typically learn to tune it out. Being reminded of it is usually annoying, just like when someone reminds you about manual breathing.
(We call this condition tinnitus. It is up to you what you would like your cats to call it, the same way they refer to pneumonia as greencough. Tinnitus is a LOT broader than this little snippet, but this is not a guide about tinnitus, this is about hearing loss)
So to summarize that,
There's a billiondy-million ways to damage one's hearing.
Losing your hearing from age or disease usually results in being hard of hearing (HOH) as opposed to deaf, and is likely to affect one ear more than the other.
It starts with high-pitched noises like rodent squeaks.
Cats born white with blue eyes have a massive chance of being born deaf; their inner ear degenerates.
But, any kit could be born with any type of hearing loss, not just deafness.
Most cats with hearing loss will hear a distracting, repetitive noise. They just learn to tune it out.
Traits and Challenges of Hearing Loss
Hearing impaired cats are LOUD.
Even warriors who have mild hearing loss will often end up speaking much louder so they can hear themselves, or not notice the sounds they're making as they shift around in their nests, scuffle sand at the dirtplace, or trample through crunchy leaf litter.
If one of their ears is better than the other, they'll usually try to stand with their "good side" facing any speakers or other sources of noise. They might appear to be constantly standing at an angle, with their head turned towards the sound. It might be so second nature that they don't realize they're doing it.
Plus, a cat with hearing loss in only one ear will lose their hearing's "distance perception," the ability to pinpoint a sound's location. EXACTLY like how losing the sight in one eye causes the loss of "depth perception," they will have difficulty telling how far away a noise actually is.
Warriors who lose their hearing later in life typically have years of experience in knowing how prey behaves and what sorts of actions make noise; but cats born deaf have to be taught this.
Instead, born-deaf cats tend to associate "sound" with "vibration." Echoes, rumbles, and the sensation of their own humming or laughter can feel very pleasurable. Their whiskers are so sensitive that they can even feel drafts of air from someone speaking in front of them! Because of that, cats with impaired hearing do better with low, rumbling "sounds" rather than high-pitched ones; even when they can't hear either. They can feel lower pitched noises.
(NOTE: Decibels are the measurement of volume, and Hertz are the measurement of pitch. These are different things, NOT interchangeable. HIGH pitch and LOW volume are lost first.)
This is why hunting is so difficult when cats begin to lose their hearing. Their sense of smell and sight can be perfectly intact, but a lot of how a cat hunts is in listening for delicate little sounds and balancing them in both ears to figure out prey's exact location. So, when a cat is learning to hunt without their hearing, they have to rely on their other senses and keep their whiskers low, dusting the ground with their chops and front paws, in hopes of their quarry making a vibration they can feel.
IMPORTANT: Don't forget that cats have carpal whiskers! They are short whiskers on the front paws of a cat, used primarily for "grappling" with other cats and struggling prey. They are less sensitive than facial whiskers, but still very useful for a hearing impaired warrior.
"Dusting," keeping the face low, is still more effective than relying entirely on "Sweeping" movements with the paws.
The younger the cat is, the more time they will have to practice and master this. Cats born deaf, who have never relied on hearing before, are usually better hunters than older warriors learning completely new techniques.
But. Clan cats aren't the only danger in the forest.
A warrior who is deaf or hard-of-hearing will not hear danger approaching, and is easy to sneak up on. Even if they keep themselves completely quiet, an intelligent fox or an enemy warrior can launch an unexpected attack on their unsuspecting target. The wilderness is dangerous, and it's not feasible to keep one's whiskers pressed to the ground at all times, even if vibrations did carry far enough to detect such danger before it's too late.
So, it would be recommended for warriors with hearing loss to not wander too far without a hearing Clanmate capable of alerting them to sounds.
They also will have a VERY difficult time acting as part of a "battalion," in large-scale battles.
In fights with dozens of entangled warriors, while they're focused on fighting the cat in front of them, they will have a hard time hearing commands. Even if well-trained in visual cues like tail signs, deaf and HOH warriors might fail to respond to yowled orders like, "RETREAT" or "SECURE THE ENTRANCE."
Even if the warrior isn't fully deaf, battles are loud and chaotic! It's very likely that such orders would get lost in the clamor of hissing and screeching cats, if the cat has any difficulties with hearing at all.
In summary,
Cats with hearing disabilities are loud.
Hearing loss in one ear will cause the loss of distance perception, and they will often stand at an angle with their good ear facing the noise.
If they were born deaf, they have to learn what makes noise.
Highly tactile, they tend to rely on whisker-sense to "replace" their hearing.
Keeping their facial whiskers low to feel for vibration, "dusting," is a very useful technique.
"Sweeping" with the carpal whiskers is also useful, but less so than "dusting."
They are in increased danger from things sneaking up on them, and shouldn't go anywhere unsafe without a buddy.
Following battle commands in large-scale battles will be difficult or nearly impossible, making them bad "team players."
Communication: Signing, lipreading, and more
(psst! @twiigbranch has a free-to-use version of pawspeak if you credit them!)
Since the majority of these cats lost their ability to hear later in life, most warriors with hearing loss will speak "normally." By "normally," that means they will talk the same way they did their whole lives, just louder so they can hear themselves better.
Over many years, they may begin to stop enunciating their words, 'slurring' their sentences, and their pitch may be a little off. Even then, it's rare that a Clanmate would be able to "tell" they have hearing loss just from their cadence.
But, meanwhile, cats who are born deaf will have a very complicated journey with speech.
It's PIVOTAL for the kit's development that the family and the Clan takes an interest in trying to communicate with them. Deaf children often become isolated from communities that don't seem to care about them, the same way any other alienated child would. This can result in trauma, lack of self-confidence, and behavioral issues.
Even if your project doesn't have Pawspeak (or doesn't have it yet!), kittens WILL find ways to communicate with their family and Clan. Sign language can evolve organically from home signs, unique gestures that will rise for a deaf child to speak with their family. BUT, the sooner they're introduced to a true sign language, the better they will be able to communicate.
Sign languages can also die naturally, simply fading away if the next few generations don't keep them alive. It's possible for the Clans to have gone through a few, over the years!
(Note: Sign languages are full languages, not just "physical versions" of a spoken one. American Sign Language and British Sign Language are from totally different families, even further from each other than English and Russian!)
It is also possible for cats born fully deaf, who have never heard words, to learn how to speak verbally... but, this takes a LOT more time and effort than using a sign language.
Teaching a deaf warrior how to say words is not quick, or easy, and is a very physical process. It involves a lot of dedicated practice time back-and-forth, with the apprentice placing their paw on their mentor's throat to feel their voice, and being coached on how to mimic the exact inflections of every word. It can be very repetitive, and very boring.
Even with lots of training, speakers born deaf have a noticeable "accent." They pronounce consonants better than they do vowels (aeiou), and often lack tone and inflection. Each warrior is an individual, and using a speaking voice is a skill some will be better at using than others.
Lipreading is very difficult. Most warriors born deaf will never learn how to do this, or even want to, as it takes an immense amount of time, effort, and tutoring. It will be more common for cats with more moderate hearing loss, especially if they lost their hearing later in life.
These are REQUIRED for a proper lip reading;
Clear view of the face.
If the speaker is too far away, moving around, covers their mouth, stands in a dark place, or has their back turned, their lips can't be read. There are many ways that the view of the face could be obstructed.
Slow, clear speaking.
If they're talking too quickly and mumbling their words, it will be extremely difficult to catch all of what they said. A better lip reader will be able to read faster.
Mental awareness.
A cat who is tired to exhaustion, unable to focus, or not expecting to be spoken to will not be able to process what's being said. Lipreading is an action that takes brainpower.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: A single speaker, not overlapping with others.
Lip reading is nearly useless during clanwide arguments. If there's tons of cats talking over each other, shouting out and interrupting, responding to unseen lips in the crowd, or even if an important speaker is just at a bad angle for the deaf warrior's line of sight to catch, they will not be able to catch everything.
Lipreading is also an action that takes focus. If the cat is tired, unable to concentrate, or isn't expecting to have to read lips, they won't be able to process what words the mouth was forming. It works best one-on-one, in clear lighting, looking straight ahead at the speaker... and even then, the BEST lipreader might only catch 40% to 50% of the words said.
So, it's truly reading. Interpretation. It isn't straightforward like language is. From, "I see a herd of deer, all of them are bucks" they might only catch, "...a... deer... of them... bucks." They will have to guess the meaning based on context!
(Look into a mirror. Quickly chant "Red right wrong" three times. Do you see how similar your lips look to form those words when you're not trying to clearly enunciate them? That's what lipreaders deal with.)
So, while there are other options, a sign language is absolutely the best choice if possible in your setting. Especially for cats who were deaf from birth, sign language is the ideal solution.
VERY IMPORTANT TIPS FOR WRITING A HEARING DISABILITY:
Please avoid them speaking with broken grammar, in third person, or with overly simplistic vocabulary, as if they are a toddler or a caveman. If a deaf cat is taught to speak, they will also learn grammar.
BAD: "Examplefur go hunt. Me catch mouse good."
OK: "I'm going hunting. I'm good at catching mice."
They will not suddenly "forget" how to speak if they lose their hearing, unless they have another condition such as brain injury.
Lip reading is inferior to signing.
They cannot perfectly catch every single word spoken in all conversations via lipreading, especially when the speaker isn't making an effort to include them, or it's during a disorganized group argument.
In ideal conditions, 30% to 40% of the words spoken will be picked up, and the reader will "fill in" the missing vocab with guesswork.
Teaching a deaf cat to speak verbally is a dedicated process, not something they easily "pick up."
Cats born deaf will almost never pick up lipreading, it is more common in milder forms of hearing loss.
Showing hearing clanmates making an effort to include hearing-impaired warriors, like doing translations or just making sure they understood everything, is massively appreciated.
A good culture around hearing loss is the best thing in the entire world for these cats. Support, respect, and acceptance are sincerely the most important factor in how well a hearing impaired warrior adapts with their disability.
So with that in mind, let's also explore the unique challenges in the terrains and culture of each Clan.
Unique Challenges Clan-by-Clan
Because of the nature of this disability, certain Clans are going to be more difficult for a hearing impaired warrior to function independently in, both in terms of environmental hazards and of culture.
Deaf and HOH warriors will not hear the sounds they're making if they step on noisy terrain or accidentally rustle nearby plants. Some enemies also rely more on stealth to attack their targets than others, and some territories will provide more places for prey and predators to hide. Water-related hazards will naturally cause there to be MORE disabled cats in some Clans more than others, which could mean that there will be less stigma and better community.
Environment means a lot to a cat with hearing loss!
RiverClan
Because this Clan is notorious for swimming in the river, they would have a massively higher rate of hearing loss (and scent loss) than other Clans; ESPECIALLY in late autumn and winter. This also means their healers would be MUCH more experienced with treating ear problems in general; but that's a subject for another guide!
(to answer a stray question before I eventually make that guide: RiverClan can make primitive earplugs out of beeswax to protect their hearing, but may need to trade with ThunderClan to acquire that.)
The important thing to note is that compared to other Clans, RiverClan has the highest rate of having HOH warriors. This means that there would be better support systems for hearing loss than in other Clans, and a cultural "bank" of techniques and knowledge to be shared.
They still have the same proportion of kittens born deaf compared to other Clans, but apprentices without hearing in RiverClan would have a bigger pool (heh!) of mentors who have experience with accommodating their disability.
Plus, you don't need to hear fish to catch them. While they'd still have issues hunting water voles and other wetland-loving rodents, fishers aren't at a significant disadvantage when it comes to providing food to the Clan.
Advantages--
High concentration of cats with similar disabilities provides community, and influences the broader culture to be more accommodating
Healers would have lots of experience with the injuries and illnesses that lead to hearing loss, leading to better treatment
Hearing is not necessary for catching fish, and thus has almost no bearing on how skilled a hunter would be.
Mentors would have better techniques for teaching deaf apprentices
Disadvantages--
Will not hear drowning cats. If you drop into that water you're on your own, bucko
Winter will be even harder than usual, when the river freezes over and fishing becomes more difficult.
Overall, RiverClan is THE best Clan for a deaf cat to be part of.
WindClan
With wide open spaces and lots of hills that offer a good vantage point, sight and vigilance is much more important for survival in a moorland than hearing. There's even an advantage to Pawspeak here; you can communicate from across the open moor without screaming out your location to all the prey!
On top of that, moorland has low-laying vegetation. It isn't a grassland, or filled with splashing water, or covered in crunchy leaf litter. There's not a lot of things TO accidentally make noise on, unless the warrior is trying to hide in a gorse or common heather bush, and WindClan is notorious for relying on speed over stealth anyway.
The one drawback to being a deaf moor-runner is that they will not hear baying hounds. Dogs are extremely common in moorland, either as sheep herders or as companions to human hunters shooting grouses. That said, the fact that hounds are the ONLY big predator they'll need to worry about immediately makes WindClan's moor safer than any woodland territory.
Badgers, boars, and foxes hate open spaces like moorland. It's just dogs that are a big concern, and hawks for smaller cats. There are very few "sneaky" predators in this area; most rely on speed.
So being a moor-runner is one of the best jobs that a warrior with hearing loss could have in the Clans... but the minute that they start to have problems listening to any orders, a tunneler should stop working underground immediately.
Deaf apprentices should be excused from their mandatory tunnel training, except to learn how to do evacuation drills.
There is no light underground. Even if they're capable of creating rushlights or are willing to sacrifice glowworms, that light will be dim at best, and could snuff out at any moment. Communication will become impossible with a deaf cat, and even moderate hearing loss will endanger any warrior who gets separated from their team.
If something as drastic as a cave-in or a flooding happens, they will be in extreme danger. They can't be properly warned unless they're pushed by a fellow digger, and they will not be able to notice anything that isn't rumbling. If they DO end up getting trapped under rubble, they will not hear a rescue party calling their name.
It's not just themselves they have to worry about, either. Not being able to warn or coordinate with their excavation team will put ALL of them in danger.
Advantages--
Moorland requires sharper eyes than ears to begin with.
Lack of ambush predators makes this territory particularly safe without hearing.
Quiet terrain makes sneaking less neccesary in the first place
Pawspeak is especially useful across wide distances
Disadvantages--
Hounds are still a massive danger; they could get very close before they're noticed, if they're upwind.
Will not receive a warning cry in case of any hawks or approaching predators.
Tunneling would be profoundly dangerous with a hearing disability; should be heavily discouraged.
Overall rating is that this is the second best Clan for a cat with hearing loss. RiverClan's sense of community still gives them the top seat imo, but if the attitudes of their Clanmates are good, WindClan's moor is an easy territory to adapt to.
ShadowClan
This one is going to depend on what version of ShadowClan the Erins feel like writing that day, or which one you've chosen for your own project. Do they live in a dry pine forest? Or a wetland?
If you're using the idea that ShadowClan lives in a dry pine forest, especially if your project exists in Britain where spruces, firs, and larches are non-native and thus the territory is a timber plantation, refer to the new growth section in ThunderClan below.
I do not abide by that idea, because Aengus the Prize Winning Hog did not emerge from a cranberry bog for me to disrespect him in this way <3 love ur local wetland <3
(quick note: a swamp is a wooded wetland, a marsh is an open wetland, a bog is acidic, and a fen is neutral/alkaline. Wetland is the general term here.)
Wetlands are rich with soggy ground, muck, and microbe-ridden stillwater. Though ShadowClan cats don't swim for fun, they would end up with more ear infections than most Clans through accidentally falling into the swamp. It's likely that they have the second-highest rate of hearing loss in the 5 Clans, but still significantly below RiverClan.
The lush, thick ferns and reeds provide lots of cover to the notoriously stealthy Clan, but to a warrior who can't hear, this terrain is loud and frustrating. The squish of mud under your paws and the rustle of undergrowth is very hard to adapt to if you can't hear it. ShadowClan's prey of birds, frogs, and water-rodents will respond to any accidental noises by fleeing, quickly, making hunting difficult.
Plus, ShadowClan doesn't rely on one, large, deep, stony body of water like RiverClan does, which seems to be sedimentary rock and open marsh all around. Predators are lurking everywhere in wooded swamps, and could sneak up on a warrior who can't hear them. Foxes, badgers, and boars are a danger in this territory.
All that said; ShadowClan still doesn't seem to rely on just rodents. They eat a lot of amphibians and reptiles, which are not hunted by sound. Most of the techniques they use to catch them can just be taught verbatim to a deaf apprentice, or continue to be used the same way by a warrior who has lost their hearing.
Advantages--
Concentration of warriors with hearing loss from falling into dirty water may provide community and support.
Has a good selection of prey that doesn't rely on listening to be hunted effectively.
Disadvantages--
Swamps, wooded wetlands, are dangerous and attract predators.
Lush foliage and soupy ground make moving quietly difficult for a deaf warrior; but not as difficult as leaf litter.
So, this Clan would be firmly middle-of-the-line in terms of its accessibility to a cat with hearing loss. It would depend a lot on how you plan to approach ShadowClan in your own project; such as if you plan to build out more campbound activities, see them as being social or antisocial with their Clanmates, and what kind of territory you choose for them to have.
SkyClan
As of the time of writing this guide in 2023, when the only decent description of SkyClan's new territory is from a single chapter of Squirrelflight's Hope, it's very difficult to figure out what sorts of terrain challenges a warrior with hearing loss would face at the lake.
Hopefully I can come back and update this later!
But it's most likely is that they have a diverse, varied territory, involving the climbing of steep hills and gorges. Even at the "gorge" territory, a lot of hunting would need to take place outside of the rocky parts of the ravine, in the sparse woodlands and countrysides nearby.
For hunting on sparse woodland, see the advice for ThunderClan. Most hunting in British countrysides is going to look very similar to WindClan's open fields, so refer up there for that.
Because of how close they are to humans, both in the Gorge and at the Lake, it's HIGHLY recommended that warriors with hearing loss avoid twolegplaces. ESPECIALLY towns. Between cars, crowds, and grabbing hands, these places are already dangerous (and sensory hell) for warriors with great hearing, but outright lethal for a hearing impaired cat who won't hear these things coming.
So while the majority of the Clan is jack-of-all-trades and regularly mixes up the particular terrain they hunt in, this is going to be harder for hearing impaired warriors. They have to invent brand new, unique techniques for ALL of these different environments, some of them more difficult than others. Because of that, it will naturally be easiest for a deaf warrior to "specialize" in a particular type of terrain.
This could result in some pretty intense feelings of alienation, as their hearing Clanmates regularly mix what sorts of places they tackle. Without even intending to, they could end up making the warrior feel very left out!
In terms of the culture though, SkyClan seems notoriously accommodating. Between the part-time-kittypet daylight warriors and the way they invented an entirely new mediator role for a cat who didn't enjoy hunting and fighting, it would likely be one of the BEST Clans in terms of supporting a hearing impaired warrior, even in spite of having a "standard" rate of hearing loss since their territory is not particularly wet.
So, it's very likely that they would WANT to fix the fact they've accidentally made their Clanmate excluded, and seek solutions that work for everyone. If any Clan besides RiverClan had a Pawspeak interpreter translating Leafstar's words, it would probably be these guys lmao
Advantages--
Varied terrain means there will be at least a few places that aren't too hard for them to adapt to
Sparse woods, open fields, and even gorges, the three most common terrain types, are at worst decent for a deaf cat to hunt in.
VERY accommodating culture, the absolute best outside of the Clans with a high hearing loss percentage.
Disadvantages--
Generalist training, where every warrior handles vastly different terrain types, will exponentially increase how much training a hearing-impaired warrior must learn.
Being unable to join with their Clanmates in hunting across the entire territory could feel isolating
Rating: Close to top tier, but variable. It's going to depend somewhat on the personality of the warrior. While SkyClan will likely make a big effort to include them, the reality of needing to learn several sets of parallel skills and the way they might feel like an "outsider" for specializing could cause extra distress. Especially for a warrior losing their hearing later in life.
ThunderClan
Because of their collaborative culture and hunting style, described as snobbish and bossy by other Clans, it's very likely that ThunderClan would struggle the most with a specific type of ableism. Since they value group cohesion, it follows they may force Assimilation onto a disabled warrior rather than Accommodation.
As mentioned earlier, Pawspeak is the best thing for the comfort of a deaf warrior... but it might not occur to this Clan to encourage the majority of the Clan to adapt to a minority of warriors.
But it gets worse. Forests are AWFUL terrain to hunt in if you can't hear. Imagine walking in a field with a bunch of invisible landmines, and if you step on one, it broadcasts your EXACT location.
It's difficult to tell if your mouse is running away because you crunched a leaf and made a sound... or because a bird in a tree SAW you and is now raising up an alarm cry. If you can't actually hear what the noise was that scared your lunch away, you might blame yourself for being clumsy as a fox barrels towards you!
When it comes to forests, there are significant differences between an old growth forest and a new growth forest. BOTH of them are going to be extremely difficult for a disabled warrior to adapt to, but old growth is harder.
OLD GROWTH
In both, ground litter is a challenge, but especially so in an old growth British forest. Natural forests there are primarily mixed oak, which drop twigs, leaves, and acorns all over the ground.
These areas are bountiful, productive, and brimming with life. Both in terms of prey and predators. The varied canopy of natural, mixed-age trees allows sunlight to filter through and create an "understorey," providing lots of food and cover to lots of different animals. Unfortunately, foliage is not a deaf warrior's friend.
As previously mentioned, a mix of areas for animals to hide in and a surrounding of rattling plant life is the worst possible combination for a cat who can't hear. Worse, hunting rodents depends massively on hearing them through the leaf litter, thanks to those high-pitched chirps and squeaks which are the first thing to vanish when a cat loses their hearing.
This would be so bad that it's likely ThunderClan "works" its youngest members much harder than its seniors, assigning apprentices and young warriors to significantly more hunting patrols. Since hearing loss is so common that it's practically inevitable, and the security of a Clan allows these wild cats to live to such old ages, it would be "common sense" to ThunderClan to structure things this way.
Old growth patches are practically food pantries for Clan cats, but hearing impaired warriors will have a HELLISH time trying to hunt in them.
NEW GROWTH
When a forest is new and all of the trees in a stand are about the same age, they create a uniform canopy. Like a continuous tent. This means they're so effective at blocking out sunlight that there's virtually no understorey.
No understorey means no food. Or very little food. But it also means no cover. And, usually, significantly less leaf litter. This is because in Britain, most of these types of forests are non-native conifers. Sitka spruce and douglas fir are the two biggest offenders-- and that's significant because nothing here has evolved to EAT the products of those trees.
In ThunderClan, Tallpines is an example of this, but this type of terrain could pop up anywhere that's seen massive destruction.
No understorey to feed prey, no products of the trees which native animals can eat, a silent floor covered in pine needles which offer no hiding places, almost chilling uniformity of the strange trees in evenly-spaced rows...
All of this to say that there's an irony here, that the hearing impaired warrior will be best at hunting in the most barren parts of the forest.
There's much less things to trip up on, or rustle. Prey can be plainly seen out in the open. Gray squirrels are the most significant prey that can utilize these areas, and they DO make a hearty meal for a Clan cat. Additionally, these areas are particularly silent because they're so barren, which might make them seem "creepy" to hearing warriors, but that wouldn't bother a deaf warrior one bit!
Advantages--
Cultural sentiment of "all for one; one for all" may lead to more dedication from the Clan as a whole in connecting to the hearing impaired cat
Which could be a blessing or a curse, depending on the individual warrior's feelings.
Ability to work efficiently in the most barren parts of the forest
Disadvantages--
Cultural emphasis on collaboration in group hunting likely leads to deaf cats being encouraged to adapt to the patrol rather than their own strengths.
May result in more emphasis on teaching lip reading and 'speech therapy,' rather than the adoption or implementation of Pawspeak.
Very difficult to stay quiet in a forest if you can't hear the crunch of leaf litter and twigs.
Lots of cover means random bullshit can spring out from any corner; abundance of ambush predators.
Cover also means there's a lot of places for prey to hide, and hearing can't be used to pinpoint the location.
Lots of rodent prey, which relies on hearing high-pitched noise to catch.
Rating: F MINUS, SEE ME AFTER CLASS. By FAR the worst Clan for a warrior with hearing loss to be part of, for both practical reasons, AND cultural reasons. Awful awful awful, absolutely abysmal, failing grade. Dark Souls for deaf cats
Though remember! This part of the guide is a suggestion. You do not need to include ableism in your own projects if you do not want to, and I hope with the information that you now have, you know how to better avoid it!
hot take but i feel like hearing people who are not fluent in ASL should not be trying to teach it to others, especially online. i see so many videos of people doing things like translating songs and their grammar is completely wrong, theyre using signs from multiple different languages, or theyre just straight up making shit up. and they never specify that they don't fully know the language!! although i have taken multiple years of lessons and can communicate pretty well, i cant say i'm completely fluent myself, and i would NEVER go online and just spread misinformation!! they act like its not a real language and just some secret code they made up. it's so infuriating.
Do you think hiccup is half deaf from when toothless roared right on his ear in the first film? And like, half of his vocabulary every day is just "huh?" "what?" "uh... repeat that please?"
Anon, that is a wonderful thought! Thank you for the ask!
Hmm… I mean, unilateral hearing loss wouldn’t be out of the question, that was a loud roar, and it was right in his ear! That would probably have had the potential to cause mild or maybe moderate unilateral hearing loss! Probably would still have some hearing in that ear, but definitely I could see some hearing loss and needing to have people repeat themselves as a possible outcome from that instance!
I hadn’t thought about it before but that’s definitely an interesting idea! And not out of the realm of possibility! Thanks anon!
