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Twenty-nine. You would have been twenty-nine years old today. If that isn’t a mind fuck I don’t know what is. It’s funny, as life keeps moving forward, you are forever frozen in time. I can’t help but miss you more on days like today. Wondering what could have been, who would you be now, what job would you have, would you have gone to school, driven a car? How many adventures would you have crossed off your list by now? Would we be on one to celebrate this day? Your magical day my sweet unicorn. I hope you’re having a fun day playing cards with Mary-Mary and Uncle Freddie, jamming out with Marley and visiting all of us that miss you so much. I’m grateful for all the birthdays we had together, I just really wish we could have had many, many more. Especially this year. You would love her Alyssa. ✨ . . We all celebrate you today Sissie. Wishing you were here with us. Looking for you in the signs & pink skies. I love you. Happy 29 🎂

#grief #loss #dear alyssa

“If ever there’s a tomorrow when we’re not together, there’s something you must remember…You are braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think…. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you. “

🍯 Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

eight years you’ve been gone and time feels like a weird trick. You knew me as someone I’m not anymore. You knew different friends and different jobs and I wish you could know the things around me now in the way I want you to know them. You would like so much of it. I know that. Thank you for giving me the best gift 🍉. I know you’re celebrating it in the sunlight and in your favorite songs that follow me around. I miss you more than words could express and grateful for all the lessons you left with me. I wish we could have some more adventures but I’ll look for you in pink sunsets, inside jokes and blue butterflies 💕

#grief #loss #sibling loss #dear alyssa #sibling grief #sisters #sister loss #sister grief

You would have been 28 today. I was in a place you always wanted to visit and I tried to honor you the best I could. I miss you so much will always continue to wonder what you would be up to and who you would be.

I love you so much. Wish that we could go on more adventures together.

I know you are always with me, I just wish you were here 🖤♥️

#sibling loss #grief #loss #dear alyssa #sibling grief #alyssa noelle audette #sisters #sister loss #sister grief

I miss you. Time is funny and strange and it seems like so much time and no time at all since I’ve last seen you.

Come back now please.

🖤

#grief #loss #dear alyssa #sibling grief #sibling loss #alyssa noelle audette #sister grief #sister loss #sisters

27.

Another birthday. The 7th one actually without you here with us to celebrate. Time has made things tricky and harder. You don’t have the same pain but the emptiness is larger. The could have beens or the day dreaming of the future with you in it take over. So much we could have done. So much you could have done. Where would you be? What would you be doing? What would this day mean? I’m not sure. I wish I could be seeing it. Today I’m just sad for all the things lost and the future we could have had.

happy 27th birthday sissie. i wish you were here. I hope you’re having a great day up there.

#dear alyssa #grief #loss #sister grief #sibling grief #sibling loss #birthday

Will I ever be happy again?

I have a piece missing from my hear because you are gone. Will I ever feel whole again? No. I won’t. But has this emptiness seeped in the cracks so deeply that it comes through in all aspects of my life without me even knowing it? I think so. I just don’t want this to be anymore. I want you here. I don’t want my sister to be dead. I don’t want to look at other people with their sisters and feel that pain in my gut. I’m so done with it. Why did this have to happen? Why is it reality? I guess I”m just full of questions and anger today. I know I’m not alone. I know people who have lost siblings feel similar. I get it. But today just, it’s just cloudy.

#sisters #loss #grief #sister loss #sister grief #dear alyssa

....

Dear Alyssa,

I thought I was going to have more time with you.

And I’m fucking pissed that I didn’t.

Love your big sister.

#sister #loss #grief #dear alyssa #alyssa noelle audette #sister grief #sister loss #sibling loss #sibling grief

I cried last night

It’s been over five years but I cried for you last night.

It was over a silly, small memory but I cried.

I feel people would think it would be crazy but fuck those people.

It sucks that you aren’t here. That I can’t text you. FaceTime. Make more memories. I just hate it so much. Things are changing and moving forward for me but you are stuck, back there and I can’t seem to bring you with me. No matter how hard I try.

I just wish it was different. I wish you were here. I love you always.

#grief #loss #sister #sisters #dearalyssanoelle #dear alyssa #alyssa #sibling #sibling loss #sibling grief #sister loss #sister grief

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