#dear leo

[notreallyaroad]

the stunning @iloveyoudeanwinchester drew my lovely girl, phoebe <3

dude, i'm in awe of how you were able to capture her lovely personality and her tremendous fluff, looking at your art feels like getting one last hug with her and that is so special, so thank you for doing this for me <3

please go support them, his work is amazing!!

@disabled-dean @butch--dean @shineforthee @ladymalchav @bloodydeanwinchester @denimshortsdean @nostalgicbones @matxhstixkers @handsliketruth @destielcorecore @mirroredmoons @toxceph

[aliceamaunet]

I used to have this dream. I would open my eyes in a train station, and I’d be alone. It was just me. And I would be looking for L, but I couldn’t find her. And there was this feeling of dread in my stomach because I knew I wouldn’t find her. I knew she was gone. And I’d scream, I’d scream and scream in this dream, hoping somebody would answer, somebody would come and make it all good again.

And then he would show up. And he’d offer to help, opening all the wrong doors and leading me the wrong ways. Whatever I did, I would always end up on the same platform again. And he would say “Just forget” and he’d try to hold me “I’m here”.

That when everything would start to go blurry. It would be like fog, settling over my mind, making it fuzzy and mad. And then I would hear her scream and there was this feeling of true despair, of fear like I never felt in my life. She’d be lying on the rails and she wouldn’t move, she’d just scream for help, over and over again, and I’d be there frozen, his hand on my arm. Then, next thing I know, I’d be on the rails and she’d be above me, on the platform and the wind would rush through my hair and there would be this deafening noise from the train rushing towards me. The cold rails beneath me and her, trying desperately to do something, anything to help.

She was good, I used to say when I told people about her. That’s a lie. She was the best. And I love my girlfriend, and I love my friends, and I love my family but nobody I ever met was as good as her. She was pure, in the most biblical way. She was everything. So as I woke up, often silent, sometimes crying and seldom screaming, the only thought in my head would be. “Thank God, it’s not her.”

[notreallyaroad]

personal / tw: pet death

i had to say goodbye to my little elf yesterday. it was the hardest thing i've ever done. watching her decline took a piece of my heart every day, but she taped it back together with her hugs and smiles.

when phoebe chose me, she became my reason not to kill myself because she needed me, i couldn't leave her. she's been by my side for the last 10 years as i dealt with those feelings and i think she knew that now, even though i still struggle, i don't want to kill myself anymore; she knew it was her time to go, she didn't have anything left to teach me or show me. she had seen me into adulthood and settle into a life i've built with @toxceph she knew that i would be able to live without her. my own little nanny mcphee, my perpetual baby puppy.

the loss of her is painful and i will always mourn her, but i'm grateful to have gotten as many years with her as i did.

thank you for everything, phoebe. i'll see you again one day and i'll stay alive for you until then 💚

[aliceamaunet]

Let’s play end of the world

I want to be 15 again, and sit on the bed with you and eat chocolate in our underwear. I want to look at you, sitting opposite me, your hair messy in a crooked ponytail, your cheeks red and your lips red and not ever wonder if you’re gonna leave me. I want us to bake gingerbread and get flour in our school uniform because we didn’t even bother to change. I want to sleep next to you, so close that I can feel your breath on my neck and your hair on my face. I want to go back in time and make it all right. We had it all, back then. We had paradise. I want paradise back. That’s what I want. It’s all I want.

[authortoberecognized]

WRITER’S FORUM  FLASH FICTION

                        WEBSITES HELPFUL TO WRITERS   This is a series of posts which, I think, will be beneficial to writers. But first, I would like to include my usual warning about using websites. Whenever you check a website you are, in my opinion and I talk from experience, being put on a list for sale. So, expect the possibility of being bombarded by ads from companies you, perhaps,…

[notreallyaroad]

i have a goal this year to get my attention span back and read more than i did last year bc it's so calming and i enjoy it so much and i've collected so many books over the last couple years!! i'm also gonna try to not let myself re-read books and only read new ones. i've already finished my first book of this year!! i'm also keeping up with a book journal ★

[notreallyaroad]

oh, rad

[notreallyaroad]

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