Darling Miles,
I have always been certain that I am destined for hell after death. After last night, the only question in the matter is for which sin I will be punished more. My deception, or my lust.
I was successful in my endeavors to summon a demon. He called himself Temdorimirsus, and was capable of shape shifting. He was tall enough that his horns scraped the ceiling of the room I’m staying in…it was awe inducing. He was not clothed, only adorned in chains of gold…and what a sight he was. I know we should not speak of other men’s beauty, but Miles, he was beautiful. A demon who was just as tempting as the scriptures warned. He also had a
And…the way he treated me was so strange. I seemed to make many mistakes during our discussion, but he was patient. More patient than the priests and churchgoers if I make a mistake during service, with all their stares and whispers…
I digress. He also had a tail! And he made purring noises…he even let me pet him. It was almost cute, honestly? Can demons be cute? Am I going insane-don’t answer that.
As for our deal…he gave me some information! He knew DaVinci, and Julius Ceaser!! Isn’t that fascinating!? He also said he was as old as Ancient Summer…whatever that is. I must summon him again, and ask him more of them and other things. He wasn’t omnipotent, but he answered my questions. And…he was warm…
He was…very warm, Miles. He filled me in ways only you have before. And while no one will ever fill the hole in my heart you have left, it was certainly an experience to be felt like that again. Even his fingers were…ah, I shouldn’t dwell on this. I shouldn’t, I know. But these are things I can only confess to you, darling Miles, and no one else. He treated me so kindly…normally, the thought of what I possess down there as a child of Eve makes me feel ill…but when he saw it, he didn’t seem to care at all. He called me…a “pretty boy”. Miles, I think I liked that term. I would so love to hear you call me it. One day.
I find it so strange. You and this demon have been the kindest to me in my life, the only ones to not be disgusted at my true nature, and general…attitude about things. It’s kept me up at night, that my most happy memories are of you, and of us together. Why does God not understand? Why is the love we share less holy? Is it simply our lack of God’s perfect knowledge, or is God’s knowledge not perfect at all?
As for future endeavors, I should summon Temdorimirsus again…and he mentioned some other names. A mind reader named Stolas, and someone named Enoch that he likened me to. I’ve also found a new book of…questionable origin. I’ll have to look into all of this! Oh, this is so exciting!
I’ve also been wondering if my own hands could f
I must sleep. I hope I dream of you.
I love you always,
Oliver Belle
