#dear rae

[indikateblog-blog]

{May 2017} Life lately...

On getting engaged, and launching a new business...

It has just been the absolute craziest two months over here. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m really proud of everything I’ve got going on right now, but let me start with the best part of what’s been going on with life lately…

April in a nutshell: launched a business, busiest work month of my life ever, AND WE GOT ENGAGED!

I forgot to say yes

Three weeks ago, while I was ready to get out…

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[raeivyphotography]

I just saw your picture for the first time since things ended between us. It hurt. And I almost cried, but I didn't. More importantly, I really wanted to reach out to somebody, anybody that would distract me or simply remind me of why I ended things to begin with. But you know what - I didn't reach out to anyone and I'm not going to. I'm writing about it instead. Because I realize that this is all me.. I can't keep looking for distractions in others.. It's time I fill that void with something else - myself and the love it's time to show myself. This will get easier. This will get better. It's got to.

[nordenburo]

D E A R   R A E   - L E T '  G E T   T R O P S Y - While wandering on blogs this week-end I found out about Dear Rae, a tiny jewellery design studio led by Karin Rae and immediately fell in love with the simple yet elegant style of the young South African designer. - Chloé

When it comes to jewels, I have a taste for very simple, fine and elegant pieces. I'm always on the hunt for both modern and "rustic" jewels with a bohemian chic feel that can be easily wore with any kind of outfit and suit every occasion. Dear Rae has this very particular clean and subtle style that delights me. Their last SS15 collection is a kind of tropical wonderland, an ode to summer that has the most pleasant exotic vibes. For this new range, Karin found her inspiration in the raw, lush and leisurely nature of her surroundings. Her naive designs have simplistic forms and natural lines that are totally charming and refreshing. Click here to discover their beautiful lookbook shot by We Love Pictures!

+ dearrae.co.za

[rae-and-friends]

I have really strong feelings for my best friend. He's a wild type, kind of loud and insensitive but he's been so good to me and supportive of my social anxiety. I'm scared to tell him how I feel, I'm sure he won't feel the same, and my other friends hate him. They all think he's a jerk and don't even want me to be his friend. I know he's flawed but he's still a great person. It's wearing me down that they can't see it, and I can't talk to anyone about what I feel for him, especially not him

Dear Anon,It’s a lovely trait to be able to see the good people, your friends however maybe able to see your best friend without the rose tinted glasses of being his best friend and liking him. A strong personality like that can be very overpowering I think you should take stock and really think about all those times that he has helped you with your anxiety, make sure that he did actually help you and you weren’t hiding behind the large shadow he casts as I did with Liam. It’s hard situation being caught between two friends because you don’t want to let either one of them down. I think here communication may be best. If you trust your friends and believe that they only have your best interests at heart, communicate with them tell them or one you are closest with that you like him and them calling him a jerk is wearing you down. Your friends may be able to give some perspective on him that you have never seen before. You cannot change someone’s opinion of another, as Finn says nobody can dictate who you like, this goes for those who you may not get on with. You can’t change how your friends feel about your best friend, telling them what you see in him and listening to their concerns about your friendship with him may alleviate some of the tension you feel. Your friends may misunderstand him and you telling them may help in their understanding of him. You may be seeing your friend with clouded judgement and hearing about him from another person may give you a clearer perception of him if you are open to hear it. You say you have strong feelings for him, after reflecting on your relationship with him and you still have those romantic feelings for him and that you are really happy in his company. I think you owe it to yourself to tell him how you feel. You cannot assume how another feels, the only way to truly know is to ask, If you are too scared to tell him because you don’t think he will reciprocate your feelings this is normal anxiety. If you are anxious about telling him because you are unsure if he will react in a insensitive or hurtful manner then he doesn’t deserve you and you deserve better. Admitting your feelings are more then platonic is scary. Telling someone face to face is best idea because you get an immediate response rather than in a text or direct message where you have to wait for reply and what you say can be misconstrued. When you decide to tell, it would be best to tell him somewhere neutral such as a coffee shop or a local park where there is no pressure unlike in your house or in his house. If the person reciprocates your feelings then fantastic, it’s the start of a lovely journey. If not, then the best thing is to accept it and perhaps give yourself and him time. You are friends so you can work back to being friends again. Everybody has flaws and vices but being good friends means that yes we accept these flaws and vices but we also help each other grow. Liam didn’t want to grow, he wanted to stay a ‘fuck up’ but I wanted change so we took two different paths. If your friend’s wild and insensitive nature is hurting others then perhaps you can help him make a change.Thank you for being in touch. Hope everything goes well for you.Rae. xx

[rae-and-friends]

Dear Rae, I am a bigger girl and I have a problem. Before I got with my ex, I had no self esteem issues and if I ever got down, I would remind myself that I am plus size fabulous. But then, I started dating this guy who made me feel like crap. We broke up but I can't get all his insults out of my head. I really like a guy now and he likes me, but he is very attractive and I don't think we fit that well. I am so torn and afraid of what to do, plus I don't want him to have to deal with my baggage.

First of all, I know how difficult it is to listen to people throw shit and abuse at you for so long that you believe it yourself, that it becomes a normal part of life to be called horrible things. I want you to know that they are wrong, so completely and irrevocably WRONG.

Now, this ex of yours obviously didn’t care for you. He was a horrible person who thrived on belittling you and making you feel terrible about yourself. I’m happy to hear you got out of that situation; no one deserves to be treated in that way. You need to realise that your ex was a part of your past, that he should have no control over your future. You control what happens to you and those dark thoughts he has ingrained in you mean nothing. They are small minded opinions of a person who never cared for you and they mean NOTHING now you are free of him.

What you need to do is try and remember how you would feel about yourself when you were brave and confident. Every time a small minded person calls you ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’, just breathe, remember that feeling you had before and thrive on the fact that you are an amazing, beautiful confident young woman.

Now let’s get to this new boy. I understand what it’s like to feel you’re not good enough for someone. It’s hard to push away the feelings of inadequacy when you’re stood next to someone who you think is more attractive than you. But what you need to do is take in to account how he feels, how he sees you. I did something very stupid and broke up with Finn because I thought he was too good for me. I didn’t give him the chance to tell me how he felt. Even though I didn’t see myself as a beautiful young woman, he did. Each and every day he makes me feel even more amazing and he has kept me strong. He has helped me believe that, yes, I am perfect.

So, if you like this guy and he likes you for you then don’t fight it. Forget what others think about you and just bask in the feeling of being really cared for by a person who has real feelings for you, someone who will not belittle you and will not insult you. Be with someone who makes you feel amazing and beautiful because you deserve it.

Please don’t let other people decide what you should do and who you should be with. It took me a long time and a lot of help from people who care about me to realise that everyone deserves love and affection, no matter what other people deem to be right and wrong.

I really hope that everything works out for you and that you get what you deserve. Be strong.

Rae,

x

[rae-and-friends]

I have a friends with benefits situation going on right now with this guy named Keelan. But I'm at the point now where I want more than that, I have genuine feelings for him. I'm just nervous to talk to him about it because I don't want to make things awkward or ruin what we have now in case he doesn't feel the same way. I don't know what to do.

It seems to me like you already know what you ought to do. I know the thought of telling him how you feel is probably putting knots in your stomach, but you’ve got to be honest with not only him, but also yourself. Whether what you want is to be his girlfriend, or just start casually dating, you have to tell him that, regardless of what his answer might be. The relationship, as it is now, is already ruined because you aren’t happy and you want more. If you keep your feelings to yourself, you’ll only get more and more unhappy, and eventually start to resent Keelan, and that wouldn’t be good for your friendship anyway. Besides, you’re perfect, why wouldn’t Keelan want more too.

Just explain to him that you’ve developed romantic feelings for him, and you’d like to see where it goes. But if he doesn’t feel the same way, you respect that and want to go back to being just friends. If you think you can handle continuing the sexual relationship, you can do that also, but it seems it’s already been hard for you to separate sex from romantic intimacy, so if he doesn’t want more, it’s probably best to end that part of the relationship. However, no one said you can’t still be friends, if you both really want to.

Thanks for writing, and good luck, Rae

To ask for advice, click here. 

[rae-and-friends]

I really wish sometimes that I had a boyfriend, or at least a fling or something, ANYTHING! I dont feel I dont because Im not pretty enough or whatever, but it feels like everyone does except for me. It gets me down sometimes. Any advice?

I know it can be tough when it seems like everyone else is enjoying something that you haven’t experienced yet, believe me, but you should know that isn’t the case. Everyone experiences those things at different times in their life and it’s gonna happen for you too, just maybe not necessarily right now. Just like you’re waiting for the right boy to come along so you can have a bit of romantic fun, know that he’s probably out there waiting for the same thing.

In the meantime, make your own adventures. Go see a show of a band you’ve never heard of, or go camping with your friends, or hell just make some new ones. When you’re out there experiencing the world and having fun with people you love and who love you back, you won’t notice so much that a boy hasn’t come along quite yet. And who knows, maybe that’s were you’ll meet him.

Thanks for writing, Rae.

To get some advice, click here. 

[thedistrictsixstore]

Gorgeous lookbook for the luxury range of Dear Rae Jewellery from Cape Town. Read more here: http://districtsix.de/blog/

Photography by Gareth Hubbard (South Africa)