#dearsilke

[dearjudee]

(dearsilke)

I might have covered Drake. Woops. 

[dearjudee]

https://soundcloud.com/dearsilke/served-original-dearsilke

Served (Original)- dearsilke Sometimes love makes you blind, so you learn the hard way and end up with a broken heart. Sometimes you're a songwriter, and decide to write about it. #iwin

[dearjudee]

Hearbreak (Original) - dearsilke

Sometime we get caught up in situations that make us believe we will never see the brighter side. For some it’s alcohol, for some it’s drugs, for some it’s heartbreak. Love is powerful tool that can be used against us at any minute, and we forget that it is actually a beautiful feeling. Love shouldn’t hurt, love shouldn’t make you weak, and you shouldn’t be scared of it. This song describes how someone can forget that there is life outside a bad break up, and having people around you to pull you back up is the best form of healing. You are not alone. 

Although the lyrics are strong and may seem insensitive, situations like this blind us from believing in who we are and loving ourselves again. Sometimes beautiful things can come out of horrible situations. Happiness is the result of a decision to be happy.

[dearjudee]

Coffee

I’m a coffee addict. Anyone who knows me can tell you that. Everyday, every hour, wherever. It’s to a point where my excitement for a new coffee machine is ridiculous for a 21 year old. It makes me feel happy, I think it’s because of the heat I feel every time it passes my throat.

My relationship with my mother wasn’t always good. We’ve had our ups and down, yes, but there was a time where I was a stubborn child and would block her out. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve understood her more everyday. Don’t get me wrong, we still fight like a normal relationship, but now it’s about things that don’t really matter.

I went to my kitchen today and saw a package of instant coffee powder strips.

It made me happy. Despite all the fights, and the stubbornness I put on her, she still gets me my coffee.

It might seem silly to you, but to me, It doesn't. I understand.

[dearjudee]

Time for two

My boyfriend and I decided to take some time. It was a mutual feeling, which surprised me. It was a clean conversation, civil, and adult. It shocked me, but it felt real. Don’t get me wrong, I cried. I cried like a child lost at a toy store. That’s what I feel like. I feel lost, I feel like I can’t breathe, and I keep asking myself if I made the right choice. It’s been a day, a few hours, and my chest is still in pain. I still love him, I still feel like tomorrow I’m gonna wake up with a text, but I know I won’t. I’m not saying it’s a break up, but sometimes time is what a relationship needs. To see what you are doing wrong, or right, and see what we need to improve to make us better.

Time is everything. Being in a long distance relationship is the ultimate test for time. It’s been a year, who would of known we’d last this long when there’s an ocean apart. It’s tough, it hurts, and sometimes it kicks the living shit out of me. I wouldn’t change the past year though, because it taught me how to love. He taught me how to love. Love others and myself.

Maybe time can solve everything. Maybe it has the answers that I’ve been looking for all along. Maybe it will keep us together or apart, but whatever it is I know its for the best. My heart is numb, my head is empty, and my chest hurts; but I'm alive. I have tears overflowing, but I’m alive.

Love is and always will be within me. I will never forget that.

[dearjudee]

Check out my new song : PRIDE (Original)

dearsilke

[dearjudee]

Options

I'm at a point in my life where everything is about to change. I'm graduating from college and that is a scary step. I guess everyone goes through this feeling once they are at that stepping point. The thing is, sometimes I feel like I'm not doing what I'm suppose to be doing. Although, I don't know exactly what it is I'm actually meant to be doing. I love my english studies, I love what I can do with just a few words, but sometimes it feels like I'm stuck within the pages. I don't know if it's just me and my emotions getting to me. But it feels like every time I try to walk, one foot is still in the back. My relationship is good. I have a guy who would move earth and hell for me. He's willing to move across the ocean for me. Yet, I don't know if that's what I want. Don't get me wrong, I love him. The thing is, I feel like I'll set his life back and I won't be able to give him what he needs. I won't let him discover who he is and what he has to offer. I don't want to be the person who managed to change his whole existence, only for him to not like where he is. It's complicated, it is. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I just left, if just one day I stopped and actually smelled the roses. Would I miss it? Would I miss the feeling that I once had, or have for that matter. My head is somewhere and my heart is slowly lingering behind.

[dearjudee]

How time has passed...

One of my best friends from High School just got into a serious relationship. We haven't talked in a while, so I found out through various post online. It made my stomatch feel weird and my heart skip. Although I'm in a serious relationship, It didn't hit me how much things have changed throughout the years. I know nothing of my old friends and their life's. I guess that's how it's suppose to go, you grow up, and move on. It just hurt to know that sometimes you aren't going to be needed anymore like you once were.

I'm happy he's happy, I'm happy everyone is moving on and finding their life. I'm happy he has found someone who makes him a great man. It's a part of life, and it's time to move forward. Even if you can still feel the sting.