#deartwin

[wingwept]

‘ why did you cry like that, if you were all right? ’

She could hardly remember what they were fighting over. One of them made some little mistake, something insignificant. They were all exhausted, tensions ever rising in an atmosphere such as this -- she couldn’t blame them for overreacting. Death was always lurking, tailing them like the shadows at their feet. This... this game was designed with the constant threat of death or some form of harm. It was only natural they would snap at some point. It was simply too much. 

It was almost funny. She had been trapped, caught in a web of lies and abuse. Yet in her attempt to find freedom, she arrived here... The test site was something she joined as an escape; her life beforehand was a perpetual cycle of her ex-husband finding and harassing her, claiming he made a mistake or he’d always love her. Once upon a time, he was warm and kind man. That changed. ( she had always attempted to rationalize it. perhaps he had a reason. perhaps he did still love her, as he so often claimed. perhaps.... perhaps she deserved it. still... ) 

Sigma’s voice grew louder when they fought. They were all yelling -- they were at their wit’s end.  But some of his words... no, something about him in that moment released memories locked at the back of her mind. She saw before her not the man she just met at the test site, but another -- that of which was a ghost of a human, haunting her to the ends of the earth. A phantom of her pain. She could see the regret on his face immediately after, soft-spoken apologies dripping from his lips as though to bandage a bullet wound. ( as if he cared. as if he knew her. what could he possibly know of it? how could he possibly understand? ) 

She turned away as she felt the tears well and wish to fall. As the once overflowing tension had begun to simmer, she wandered from the others to calm herself. Phi took that moment to approach; Diana attempted to simply wave off concern -- i’m all right, i’m fine... An obvious lie, perhaps, but she thought it necessary. She couldn’t tell her. It wasn’t important, it wouldn’t help them leave this room. Still, she kept pestering her --

  ‘ phi, really… it’s nothing. i was just overwhelmed. ’

  ‘ we should get back to getting out of here. ’

[wingwept]

deartwin 

phi’s the one who sighs when she gets one of those bizarre late night question texts… but she legitimately can’t sleep until she answers it

and the explaining bg music starts to play while she types like a paragraph in response adlskJSK 

oh god that’s so real... she’ll take it so seriously when sigma asks something so ridiculous and diana’s here like Can you Stop Texting in the Group Chat at 3 AM

[wingwept]

❛ –geez, mom. it's fine. ❜ cue a stubborn puff of air, ❛ i'm fine. ❜

  ‘ it is most certainly not fine ! ’ 

A stern look hides Diana’s worry as she returns to bandaging the bleeding wound upon Phi’s hand, applying pressure as she finishes. How did she even manage to cut herself? I asked her to chop up some of the vegetables and start the oven, and I come home to this... She shook her head. It was easy to make this sort of mistake, she supposed. She simply did not expect it from Phi. Sigma, definitely, but Phi always seemed much more... capable, in a lot of ways. Sigma’s idea of a homemade dinner is instant ramen and a monster energy drink. ...Sometimes he mixes them.

  ‘ even the smallest nick could get infected, and this is very deep. you might need to get stitches – ’ 

She trails off as she registered what, exactly, Phi had said. Mom. A sudden warmth spread across her face, and a small smile accompanied it. Be it a slip of the tongue or purposeful, it was the first time she’d ever addressed her as such. It felt... nice.

 ‘ o-oh ! um... well, what i’m saying is, you need to be more careful... honey ! ’

[wingwept]

deartwin 

xD and :3c

you’re so right....

[wingwept]

-hugs her softly-

  ‘ oh, phi... ! ’ 

Perhaps not expected, but welcomed nonetheless; she returns the hug, arms wrapping lightly around her. She holds the embrace for a second longer, until Phi pulls away. Diana offers her a small smile. Such a sweet sentiment... it was not the first time she had done so, but all the same, it was not so common Phi unguarded her heart -- if only for a moment. 

  ‘ hehe, i never took you for an affectionate type! ’

[truthsgone]

okay, okay. take it easy.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. The search for this religious fanatic that Akane claimed was planning the extinction of all humanity… well, it was far from easy. Rest was a luxury of which he gifted himself with sparingly; they had no time to waste. Despite their lacking in knowledge on who this person was, or what they were scheming… the threat was very real. Thus when he finally leans back for just a moment of respite, it swiftly turns to that of slumber. 

He wasn’t the type to dream. It was often just a void, a thick darkness which shrouded his eyes, his ears, his mouth… every sense lost to the nothing. Yet, there were times…. it was always the same, and not so much a dream as it was a stream of memories. The nonary games… their attempts to save a little girl, their planning and execution, their allowing of the deaths of so many in every timeline that was not their own… but mostly, he sees everything leading to these choices. Their happiness stolen from them, the one gift he could not give her. The fear, terror, as they could hear the rushing water into the ship’s interior, the relief and guilt they felt as they realized they were not the only children trapped within. The clovers…. small reassurances that they could be okay, that perhaps through all the suffering there was still hope, to have faith and remember those they love. And perhaps they would be lucky enough to remain alive… ( any mention of those words after finally escaping left him with naught but bitterness. to have faith, hope? when what he loved was…. was…. no, he always thought. we are far from lucky. ) 

The last thing that he dreams of is fire. The fire that destroyed his life, took from him his family, his sister… lost in the flames, ignited and burned and turned to ash. He remembers the screams, both his and hers, and the feeling of emptiness that followed. This paradoxical memory, an echo of another possibility, another truth… it haunted him. He knows that they prevented this, that the true end was her freedom of a prison of steel and flame. Still, he dreams of it from time to time, reliving it as though it were happening right in front of him. As though it were real. The fire… burning… how painful it must be… 

And then he wakes with a start, eyes snapping open. His breathing was ragged, laboured. He took a moment to compose himself, though in that time noticed he was not alone – Phi? She was speaking, okay, okay… he barely heard her. Although, it did occur to him that she was likely that which roused him from his sleep ( generally not such a difficult task, but, he supposed, it wasn’t often so vivid a dream captures him ); a hand pulls itself through disheveled hair, in a fruitless attempt to tidy it. He must compose himself... he wasn’t the type to allow weakness to shine through, or bring down the walls he’s built around his heart. Especially not with someone as closed off as her -- perhaps they were alike, in a way.

  ❛ oh, phi... sorry. probably shouldn’t be sleepin’ on the job, huh? ❜

 ❛ -- anyway, was there something you needed? or did akane send you as my personal alarm clock? ❜ 

[wingwept]

❋

In her profession, she sees blood very often. It’s something she’s had to grow accustomed to, though it always did make her queasy. Never did she think… never did she expect that she would ever draw the blood of another, that she would intentionally and willingly hurt another person. She went into the medical field to save other people, to help. To do whatever she could to keep others smiling. To think that she would…. that she would….

No, she thinks. I can’t do it. I can’t pull the trigger. But the alternative was worse, wasn’t it? If she just stood back and waited, Phi would… she couldn’t let that happen, either. Sigma’s words had made some sense – there was just as good of a chance of him living as there was of him dying. But if she did pull the trigger, and it wasn’t a blank… it wouldn’t be sitting idly by, waiting for flames to claim her friend. It would be murder. She… would kill him. 

Her hands were shaking. She always used to have steady hands, but fear had clawed its way down her throat and struck her from within, causing tremors throughout her body. She was scared. 

Trust me. Sigma says.

Don’t do it. Phi is pleading. 

She listens to Sigma, and pulls the trigger. 

The first thing she hears is the gun. It’s loud… louder than anything she’d ever experienced. For a moment, it’s all that she hears. Her ears ring with the sound of an explosion, the singing of a bullet through the barrel. The next thing she hears is Phi. Screaming, yelling, crying at her. Murderer. It’s true. She was. Her eyes catch a glimpse of the scarlet strewn about the walls and floor; the viscous liquid which was once coursing through a living body painted a picture of death. A testament to her sin, her decision. Her choice. Moments ago there was a breathing person sitting in that chair, talking to her, telling her to trust him. Now it was simply a corpse, wearing the face of someone she once knew. 

Phi finally calmed herself, tears still flowing, but she was quiet, unable to find anything more to say. Diana was silent, too – she couldn’t fathom what had happened. What she had done. To take another’s life… to steal away that which was sacred, that which belonged to no other, that which she had devoted her career to protect… to rob someone of that life… how could she? It wasn’t her choice to make. She could not be judge, jury, and executioner for another person’s soul. Yet she… she still pulled the trigger. How could she live with herself, knowing this? In a daze, she felt herself drop the gun, and it clattered to the ground. Her hands were shaking. 

Seconds, minutes, hours seemed to pass, she wasn’t sure. It felt like they were there for an eternity, waiting for death to claim them as well, perhaps. Or perhaps it was a childish ideal that kept them paralyzed – that maybe, if they stayed, Sigma would awaken and spout some silly pun or witticism, and they would all be together again. They would all be safe. This isn’t the case, obviously. He doesn’t rouse, he doesn’t say anything. They aren’t together. They were fractured, a broken picture with a piece missing. Diana finally looked at Phi, her blue eyes containing a thousand mixed emotions, all her inner turmoil just barely visible. Phi… she glanced back, meeting her gaze. She looked tired. 

Diana couldn’t bear the silence any longer. They were waiting, amidst a blood covered body, waiting for someone to move, or to say anything. So she did. Or, so she tried, at least. 

  ‘ phi… ’ there’s a pause. ‘ do you… hate me? ’ 

There is no verbal response. Phi simply walked over to her, and wrapped her arms around her. Finally, the truth of the matter hits her, and tears begin to well and slip down her cheeks. She was crying for Sigma, for his death, and for Phi, for her forgiveness. It was as though there was a part of her that she never knew existed, and it had been taken from her. Something that was precious, irreplaceable. A certain part, filled of love and kindness… and it was gone.