#death--

[90stvqueen]

if you, too, carry the guilt of outliving someone to whom you think you should have been a better friend, i love you, i'm sorry, i understand, and it's okay. we always think we have plenty of time to reconnect down the road. we're supposed to have more time. as much as any of us can say "life is short," it's hard to conceptualize until you actually lose someone too soon. you're okay. i'm okay. we'll be okay

[zeromorph]

my sixth-grade history teacher had the room attached to my mom's and I had her last period, so sometimes I would linger for a while chatting with her while my mom wrapped stuff up. I loaned her a book of pet ghost stories once, and when she gave it back she told me she had never really believed in ghosts but--we’ll never know some things, right? it’s been a long time since I talked to her and a long time since she would have remembered or recognized me--Alzheimer's ran in her family, and she apparently hadn’t recognized her daughters for the last half year or so--but it’s different knowing that if she’s still around it’s not in a way we understand and it never will be again.

a lot of people love her. I hope she still knew that.

[jayesprite]

okay I wanna know what happened with Dihana in the game, like, did she god tier and all that, also who was the blackship with that Musple helped her through before the game, and also I am. wondering if anything happened with Dihana after Musple died. particularly anything involving Grulaz. (I mean it was an accident that stopped Musple going god tier there, but I'm wondering all the same.)

honestly. i think her blackship was either with Grulaz or Sufrio? i don’t know, i just know that she was in one and it was pure hate instead of a healthier blackrom.

and i think dihana and grulaz had a show off after the death of her girlfriend. they would fight, and both of them would die separate from their lands and their questbeds

[90stvqueen]

honestly i wish we still did stuff like wearing black veils over our faces when we were grieving because i don't want anyone to look at me or bother me today and i don't want to sit at home. i want to just go to an art museum and cry in front of some oil paintings without some tourist asking me what's wrong

[90stvqueen]

so my grandpa is in hospice and my mom told me to call my boss and let her know that i might have to fly home at the last minute to attend a funeral so i did and my boss was like “do you know when you would need coverage?” and i was like “do i literally know when my grandfather is going to drop dead? no, melinda, i don’t” so that’s the shit i’m dealing with today

[90stvqueen]

i like being alive and i don’t want to die any time soon, but i’m like... thrilled by the concept of dying. it’s an experience most people only get to have once and i know it’s at the very end, but i mean. you live your whole life wondering what it’s like. it’s kind of the ultimate question. how poetic that the end of your life is what finally resolves it.

i just read a study that said that there may still be brain activity in some people after the heart stops. can you imagine? lying there, knowing you’re dead. it must be so terrifying, but also so satisfying. to know how it feels, just for a few seconds, to have your heart not beating and your blood not pumping. one more moment to wonder what comes next.

and then, to my mind, everything goes dark. or rather, you cease to be. i don’t know if i believe that your spirit or soul or consciousness remains. maybe there’s an exchange of energy, when your body loses all momentum, and whatever was inside you escapes out into the world and that’s why we feel ghosts or people’s spirits or energy after someone’s died. 

or maybe you just slip into the ethereal dimension, where you get to see all the mechanics behind the world but you still exist in some version of this world

or maybe you’re born again into a different body and you have no idea where you came from. do you think you’re reborn as a person, or do you think you can be reborn as an animal or a plant? or even a living being not on this planet? what if we’re all from different parts of the universe and this is just our life cycle?

new life is created all the time. the universe is infinite, and even if reincarnation were only limited to human bodies on earth, our population is expanding. does that mean there are new souls always popping up? all over earth, all over the universe? 

the saddest answer is if you just cease to be. but it’s also kind of nice, too. because that means that your time here really is it. and that’s enough to make me want to live life a lot more fully than i already am. because there’s no real reason for me to be here other than what i make of it, so i should be as kind and loving and carefree as possible while i still exist. 

i could go on and on but i’m gonna go play hogwarts live now. a game where, when you die, you’re reborn the next day as if nothing happened. 

[mestreso]

Dont worry he's dead but he's ok