It's Not "Why am I Single?" It's "Why I am Single".
At twenty-one [turning twenty-two], I've been asked loads of times on why I have not started looking for someone who'd be my "future-potential-husband" one day. It obviously does not help the fact that almost half of the people I know, back home and of my age, are either engaged, married, or have already started their own family -- so people often think that I should start looking for someone to get into a serious relationship, at least. I absolutely feel no pressure at all, whatsoever. The question I often ask myself is not, "why I am still single?" But clearly, "Why hasn't someone come along and make me change that decision?" Never did I feel like I yearned for a sense of belonging when I am surrounded by my closest friends that are in long-term serious relationships because I feel like there is no point of feeling a great load of self pity since it won't change anything nor would it make things better on my part.
I'd like to call myself complex but I really don't want to put a label on why I am the way I am. Living in a modern society when you encounter many guys that obviously don't know how to open doors for women or do nothing but drink and have sex, there are girls like me who higher their standards even more because of it. I'm not saying that I am worthy of setting a high standard for the guys I choose to date but because I have encountered so many arrogant, deceiving pricks that I do not know who is sincere and is really interested in me. I am not the type of girl to give motives. I don't flirt around and bat my lashes in swarm of men because I don't believe in that. And I refuse to parade around in a bikini with breasts hanging out and dress like I'm going to some cheap night club to get the guys to notice me -- seriously, if that's the standards most guys are into, I'm sorry, I won't bite.
I just think it is kind of sad, on my part, when I have not engaged in a conversation where I can discuss Sonnet 18 by Shakespeare or Lord Byron's She Walks in Beauty. It would also be nice to know a guy who can discuss Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray or even the French Revolution. I like guys who can keep up with what I read [or either way around]. And it does not have to be about literature alone -- I just like guys who can engage in insightful conversations...or at least someone who knows what famous paintings are seen in the Louvre Museum would do. Not trying to sound a bit harsh but it's pretty clear that I would rather talk about stuff that make sense than to sit around watching a guy having a time of his life through alcohol.
Again, I'm not trying to be all picky because I feel like I don't have a right to be. Although, I won't be the kind of girl to lower my standards, or even my IQ, to get a boyfriend. I am pretty upset with girls who do that. I know that there will come a time when I will find that one guy but, for now, I think I'd rather stay the way I am. Don't get me wrong, I am open to what could happen and I am not closing any doors -- if I meet someone, great. And if not, I can wait. I am pretty content with what I have and I'm focusing on what I want to be. If I let a darn age for settling down affect me, I'd be some desperate girl looking for love in the wrong places.
There is a saying: the moment you stop looking for love, the moment it finds you. And I believe in that saying in a heartbeat.
- Debbie Gene