The Story of Debbie Gene

I am not a princess and this is no romantic fairytale lost in a meadow. If I need a happy ending, I'll wander into an alternative universe to make sure it happens. But then again, I can never really control the stars. I'll let the higher power do the rest.

[msdebbiegene]

Falling Out

As time passes by, I wonder if it's one infatuation I will get over. Some parts of me wish we remain but as we sit in silence with relentless thoughts of our past, I can't help but think this might just be the end. Blank stares turn into photographic memories undone -- as if the canvas was never painted on. And in just a blink of an eye, we collapse to the sound of our heartbeat and dance to the tragic sound of what was once, at least, considered a fantastical happily ever after. 

Goodbye old friend.

[msdebbiegene]

I'm Not That Girl...

I can never mold myself into being a typical "girl's girl". The whole parading around like a beauty queen in your most fashionable look to gain confidence is a total lie. I hate beauty pageants as much as I dread spending forty-five minutes getting my nails done. Mixing and matching an outfit is never about looking good -- it's about self expression and being free. So what if I came in a big knitted sweater or some long grandma dress? At least I can breathe in them. I like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, and can sit through a Game of Thrones marathon.  I don't really enjoy talks about relationships and other people's lives unless it's really necessary. I like ideas, books, poetry, art, films, business, and what's happening in the world today...probably one of the reasons why people misinterpret my way of speaking. I cannot help but use personal philosophical views and phrases that probably don't make sense. Heck, even I don't even get myself sometimes.  

Chick flicks are too cliche. I hate Gossip Girl and those girly scandalous shows on television. I don't even like television. I don't fantasize over Channing Tatum or some pretty boy with six pack abs and good hair. This is coming form someone who thinks Jack White is sexy.I like a man with scruff, shows that they are low maintenance. I don't spend two hours pampering myself, neither should the opposite sex. I think music is a form of therapy -- when you listen to the right ones. Everything sounds the same on the radio for me. I like bands but most have probably never heard of them before. 

Partying is overrated, it makes no sense why people like to go to clubs and attempt having a good conversation in between, "I-can't-hear-you." Hookups are pointless -- so you got eleven minutes of "pure ecstasy" with some douche bag in the club...awesome...and then what? I see no importance of smoking when there are no benefits. Drinking isn't fun -- it's bitter tasting and you start acting like an idiot. If I wanted to act like an idiot, I will do it sober...at least I know what I'm doing. And the fact that it's an excuse to have a good time. People punch each other and get aggressive with alcohol...how is that fun? 

I am still a girl -- regardless of what. I hurt and crush on guys. I still swoon over some fictional characters. I like feeling like a princess every once in a while. I can be clingy and have terrible mood swings like any other girl. But treat me differently. 

[msdebbiegene]

That one moment when I wish I can fly but my wings are clipped                              when I want to get away but I'm tied into this chair                              when I want to chase my dreams but I lost it                              when I want to make friends but I am too shy                              when I want to do something but I don't know what                              when I want to write a novel but can't start it                              when I want to seek adventure but I'm too scared                              when I want to take a chance but I hate rejection                              when I want to make a decision but I'm so confused                              when I want to keep calm yet I tend to over think                               when I try to forgive myself but I can't seem to forget

[msdebbiegene]

A Gentleman's Song

Dark maiden you are a ghost -- a haunting creature the lurks around the darkest corner of my attic. Come out and dance with me as the full moon shines upon your pale, luminescent face. I promise to play it gently so take my hand and wear your beautiful long black dress as I wear my old off-white suit. Walk in grace and serenade the night through the music you have brought within your soul. Lose yourself... lose yourself to me. 

- Debbie Gene

[msdebbiegene]

And the thoughts lingered inside my head -- words that could not come out of my lips. Does he feel the same way? Does he care? He stood right in front of me in silence and all I could think of is it's now or never. I should just tell him. I should. I should. 

But the moment he looked passed me and walked away was when I realized that I shouldn't because he doesn't. 

[msdebbiegene]

Cynicism

I am not the perfect girl. Perfection is an over exaggerated word that I do not wish to attain. Flattery does not make me fond of anybody completely but I do praise you for your efforts and kind words. I am nothing more than who and what you are. We may not be the same but, clearly, if I am to play a perfect girl in your pretend perfect world -- we might as well all be perfect in such a perfectly messed, strange society. 

I hope that makes sense. 

Debbie Gene

[msdebbiegene]

Boyfriend

Dedicated to my best friend and her special someone. You guys don’t know how your long-term relationship inspires me build one of my own.  

  You have the strangest accent that I cannot describe – the kind that gets me giggling until I fall to the ground in my flowery dress because it really is that ridiculous. But I still love you for pushing me on the swings and tucking sunflowers behind my ear. You surely do know which heart string to pull.  

We are getting pretty old, you and I, yet it is funny how we can still run around and play hide and seek but do, please, forgive me for saying how terrible you are at hiding. Maybe it’s because you’re aging faster than I am. But whatever the circumstances may be, I will always choose to grow old with you.

To my best friend, my lover, my partner: thank you for building a castle with me. And maybe, one day soon, we will finally sit on our thrones together – you will be the King and I will be your Queen. We will have endless tea parties for our guests, which I know you’ll fall asleep in anyway. But I promise to tuck you into bed when you need me to and listen to you, snoring, in the middle of the night.

For you, I’ll run for the stars. Run miles to the moon and back – just tell you how deeply and utterly in love I am with you.

Debbie Gene

[msdebbiegene]

I want to be able to write again. Not write in small pieces or write because it's part of an obligation...but just write from the heart and let all of the words flow through. I am tired of following the rules, tired of the same old cycle -- I just want to have the freedom to create an impact, write about puzzled, indescribable ideas and turn them into a work of art through the power of words. I want to get out and live out of this bubble I've been placed in for a while. And I want to make it right.

[msdebbiegene]

Daisy

Perhaps he was all I ever wanted Yet I have my demons Demons I cannot chase away I loved him There's a God that knows I did But I helped pull that trigger That ended his tragic life Goodbye poor old sport

- Debbie Gene

[msdebbiegene]

Summertime Lover

Summertime blues When the heat feels so cold His last kiss was poisonous Leaving me all paralyzed Numbing my beating heart I cried and cried 'til there's nothing left As I watched his footsteps Turn into dust, blown by the wind He was beautiful, a memory I could recall Yet his faces is, now, just a blur Something I can never take back Unless he returns But he won't

- Debbie Gene

[msdebbiegene]

Fcuk.

Take me, crush me Use me, leave me be Then run back when you're ready And inject your love into me I need this, I need your poison The kind that will leave me intoxicated For days, weeks, months, years... Get me high and don't be gentle Release the fire that flames within you And allow it to burn all throughout the night

[msdebbiegene]

Invisible

He's a lot smarter than I read more books in his life From Tolstoy to Nabokov to Foster Wallace and other unfamiliar authors that sounded all new to me He knew too much Yet as old as he can be He's still a boy who only saw the seen And my affections for him remain unseen...

[msdebbiegene]

Lay With Me

Lay with me by the ocean At night, when the moon is shining When the stars all align And the waves sing out their song, to a melodic tune of serenity and grace

Lay with me tonight, dear handsome one With our backs flat against the soft cold sand Hands that hold in an endless bind There is no place where I'd rather be In this small piece of paradise fit for you and me

[pugking-deactivated20200807]

[msdebbiegene]

distraction:

Due to high sulfur levels, inhabitants of the Izu Islands had to wear gas masks to survive. What results? Some of the scariest wedding photos ever.

[msdebbiegene]

You Are

You are my strength My one true love You give me the spark That heals my heart so fragile My source of strength Through you I will rise again My life, my savior You are

[msdebbiegene]

Saved

Hopeless as I can be There was nothing more left to give And yet you stand before me With your gentle, luminescent smile In the midst of my thirst You have given me an abundance of water Because of your love I am found, I am saved

[msdebbiegene]

Secret Affair

I won't make a single sound Just take advantage of it This would only happen once Unzip this little black dress of mine And I'll unbutton your shirt No need to make a fuss Just press those lips onto my nape And down to my chest I won't speak of this ever again You'll have my word for it