#decemberdrift

[thejapanesedream]

The less time I spend with you, the less you need to heal.

Troye Sivan | Talk Me Down

Tell me how to not be too much.

[thejapanesedream]

2.14.14 - 2.14.16

Love is not just the butterflies you felt in your stomach when his best friend drunk-told you, "Don't ever break up with Sean, Pat. Whenever he talks about you, it's like there is a sunshine coming out of his ass;" sometimes it is the embers that fill your lungs, waiting for the apology and comforting needed to extinguish them. Love is not just the good-morning texts you first read when you wake up nor the I love you's you snuggle in before you go to sleep; sometimes it is the once labeling of wounds and scraping of scars that you chose to remember over the hundred times his words melted like honey in your tongue. Love is not just the fate that designed your same WF-schedule when you were in Freshman year, not just the song you both sang and danced to in a terrace of a school building, not just the necklace he gave you on top of the tallest ferris wheel in the country. It is actually the breaking of cliches, of expectations, and of hearts, only to find that there is no other person you would rather be in love and hurt with other than him.

And you know it will always be him.

[thejapanesedream]

Tell me how to be something you miss.

[thejapanesedream]

June 6

Street lamps and city lights drift your hand away from mine I try to remember your face as the ground beneath me shakes I pray the lamps and lights won’t be enough to steal your eyes Because those eyes are mine, that hand, that laugh, that smile I’ll wait for them when the shaking stops I’ll wait for you at the Oval, Love

[thejapanesedream]

Go study for 122. I hope you ace the exam on Monday.

[thejapanesedream]

I think I have come to the point when I would just look at you, and know that my iris reflects nothing but your beauty with all its flaws and my sigh spells out everything my heart has longed for. That is how I know I love you.

tjd

[thejapanesedream]

November 11

Let me put my lips on yours, feel your mouth shut my horrors Breathe them into your lungs Play them all with your tongue Once they’re in you, pull me close Make me stay at the coast while my hand writes a story on your arms far from sea Writing stopped, your mouth opened See my horrors leave for dead

[thejapanesedream]

June 16

With every ring of the phone, every pillow bitten and thrown, every message that's not his, every chat head dismissed-- beneath all is a trace of pride with a heart engulfing the tides How do you ease the pain in fear of losing him in the rain? How do you find the shore, if he's not there to guide you home?