The failure of an assignment, relationship, or any other important goal can extremely disappointing, especially when you expected so much more for yourself. However, you cannot avoid failure unless you avoid doing anything at all. So instead of beating yourself up, there are ways for you to regain motivation and get back up on your feet after getting knocked down.
Accept what you’re feeling. I’m not saying that you should stay in bed, wallowing in self-pity for days. But you should take a moment and be angry or sad or whatever you feel after a loss. This will enable you to work through your feelings without lashing out on others or letting it distract you later.
Remember that a few setbacks do NOT make you a failure. Everyone fails, okay? Do you know how many times J.K Rowling sent Harry Potter to publishers before getting published? 12 times. She failed 12 times before publishing what became one of the best novel series of all time. So instead of going into a self-hating spiral, remind yourself that just because you failed doesn’t mean that you won’t succeed the next time. See this failure as something temporary that will pass instead of a permanent roadblock
Address the cause of the failure. Ask yourself these questions: What caused this? Could it have been prevented? What can I do in the future to succeed? Were my initial expectations unrealistic? Take the time to think or write down about could have been done and what their consequences would have been.
Learn from this situation. Now, apply the behaviors you wrote down in the previous step. You want to get an A on your next test? Study smarter, take better notes, ask your teacher questions or even read this post I wrote. You want to get first place at your next swim meets? Practice, improve your diet, train outside of the pool. Whatever your goal is, implement ways in your weekly routine to achieve it.
Understand that some of your goals may be unrealistic. It’s important to work hard to attain your goals, but it’s also important to realize if your goal was too difficult to achieve. You can’t possibly get 100% on every single one of your tests or win every competition you enter. Knowing that there are some things that you may not achieve at the moment will prevent you from being disappointed.
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