#deeescendants 2

[jhenne-bean]

Were you picking up Ben x Evie vibes during "Chilling Like a Villain"? Also what was with all of the sing/talking in this movie? It's like one of the writers discovered spoken word during production and was like "This is EXACTLY what Descendants 2 needs."

ykw, I’ll have to rewatch, haha. I kind of hate him so I really didn’t pick up anything anytime he was on screen period except me going “UGHHHHHHH”

And idk lmaoooo. I think it was supposed to be “””rap”””...sometimes? Iono man. It was not a wise inclusion. 

[jhenne-bean]

ALSO, and this thought is absolutely adjacent to me only recently finding out that Cameron is mixdt Black bc I am slow, 

#DATCOLORISM

[jhenne-bean]

i bet you dollars to donuts descendants 3 is going to have frozen. i can feel it in my marrow.

STOP

[jhenne-bean]

I totally watched Descedants 2 'cause of your liveblogs. I also don't understand Uma's " Sounds Good. Byes." At the end and the 'battle' was awful. Mal's dragon form reminded me of Spyro the Dragon. Only Spyro was more fun. I just wasn't even sure at all with it. Especially Ben. Like, what are you doing, boy? What was that at the end? Was it really necessary for him to jump into the water to talk to them?

Ahahaha, having more of us undergo this viewing was the opposite of my intention!

The ending was Anticlimactic and Confusing.

Uma’s motivation and decision making was all over the damn place, but I read that there’s two alternate endings, so I’m like....okay. Maybe that’ll change something to make more sense?

Anyways, the takeaway is that the politics of that universe are a disaster, and the policy of initially taking only four kids was doomed to fail lmao

[jhenne-bean]

The commercials made it look interesting but I guess I'm glad I don't have cable anymore. I never had any interest in De$cendants until Uma, but pass 😂

just read the wiki, fam. It’s not worth the watch, and all the songs are already uploaded to youtube so you can get the ideal experience hahaha

[jhenne-bean]

ok so Carlos got way cuter so that was cool. Finally Mulan's daughter actually acted like she was related to Mulan. Evie and Mal are so gay for each other. Any time there was an attempt at rapping, I was SO UNCOMFORTABLE. also like... i don't mean to like...... over analyze but it's def kinda shady that the only black girl in the movies is also the ONLY villain kid who can't be redeemed (so far at least). justice 4 uma tbh.

CARLOS IS PRESH but I don’t know if I say that because he has Endearing Floppy Hair(TM), or because he was actually acting and had a woobie line and then looked so surprised??? when he got a hug even though that ship is *eyeroll*, or because I just want Cameron to win.

And yeah, I’m glad Mulan’s daughter finally got fleshed out a little.

Evie and Mal had more chemistry than literally any other ship in the entire film, and their song was as close to Defying Gravity as dodging IP lawsuits would allow, hahaha.

THAT SPOKEN WORD “RAP BATTLE” WAS SO BAD LMAO. They tried but, look, if you can’t pull it off then don’t push it ok. 

Right? They played Uma for no reason and they made Ursula so very....sassy. Plus it seemed like we were operating on one (1) Black Girl per movie, which brings me to the question: Where was Audrey??? How do you get a flat tire when you travel with three fairies????

China did great as Uma, and it looks like they set her up for a sequel which is neato, but omg....where are Tiana’s kids? Let Mama Odie have (great?) grandkids!!! Give Cobra Bubbles a hacker daughter, you cowards.

[jhenne-bean]

You know my personal theory about Jay from Decendants? That he's actually the son of Aladdin, and Jafar raised him due to some strange event that happened the past. Also I felt totally cheated out of the final battle! They only let the kids get wet?? No one was tossed around like Plinko chips? Ben didn't even get yanked underwater :(

Hmmmmm interestinnnnnng! That shot of Aladdin and Jasmine was so quick and they only showed Jasmine from the back lmao this movie is a mess why can Disney really not cast that property???

There were like No Stakes to that final conflict, lmao. I’m not even sure why Uma called it quits. 

BEN REALLY ROARED LIKE HE WAS FINNA DO SOME SHIT and just jumped in the water to give a speech lmaooooo

[jhenne-bean]

WHATEVER, time for Raven’s Home!!!!!!!