#deep within us

[suave1foru]

Our world

[untappedinkwell]

Year in Review

School year 2010-2011 is over. 

One of my friends did a year in review sort of post, and I liked it, so I'm copycatting. Here goes.

Wow. This year has been insane. I've had family drama out the wazoo--I was really unhappy for most of Fall 2010 as a result of that, some personal issues, and some residual friend drama from February 2010. I dressed up for my first Harry Potter Film Midnight Release, I became a member of two other blogs (not this one), signed up for youtube to do P4A this December, and started parting my bangs a different way. I learned how to tie a tie. I met some interesting characters in my classes, read some horrible fiction in my creative writing course (and some good stuff, too), I grew closer to my immediate friends and started learning more things about them that we'd never had an occasion to talk about before. I spent loads of nights paralyzed with fear alone in my room. I faced rejection from the people who are supposed to love you no matter what. 

I started making plans to get out on my own and really have a summer to devote to myself. I read The Hunger Games. I blogged. I read Alice in Wonderland (finally). I convinced my youngest brother to start reading Harry Potter. I almost completely stopped going home. I started watching Doctor Who. I had to learn to adjust to having a best friend an entire ocean away and six hours ahead of me (I cannot wait for her to come home. I miss her like crazy). I learned a new knitting stitch (purl, for anyone who cares). I had a terrible roommate who was mean to me in the way that girls in middle school are mean to other girls. 

I grew closer to the Nerdfighter community, and started converting my friends. I started vlogging.

I found people and grew closer to people who accepted me for who I was. I found people who really understood what it was to be nerdy--people who understood what it meant to be a creative writer, what it meant to be excited over Harry Freaking Potter. 

My self esteem and self perception has grown exponentially. Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror and am surprised that the person looking back looks... pretty. It's always a pleasant surprise. 

The start of this school year was pretty low. There were lots of late night phone calls and crying sessions. But this year overall, despite the crappy roommate and the annoying sex crazed neighbor and the low points--this year has been amazing. I'd take all the bad stuff in a heartbeat again if it means that I would get to continue to grow closer to the people who have been there for me this year. 

This year, despite the negative, was a year of blessings and though I'm pretty sure I don't deserve half of them, I sure as hell am going to be thankful for them. 

And Tumblr, all of the precious friends that I've made here, thank you for being a part of that. Really, thank you so very much. All of the beautiful people here and the beautiful people I'm blessed to know in real life are more than I could have ever asked for. 

And to my Real family, thanks for being there. Blood does not define who your family is any more than water does. You all are my true brothers, sisters, and parents. Please stay around for as long as you can. 

[deepwithinus]

The Internet Vs. IRL (Submitted by Untapped Inkwell)

Every so often I see random posts or statistics that suggest that people who spend more than x number of hours on the internet are more likely to have psychological problems, or are more likely to be withdrawn/anti social. And at first, my instinct is to scoff and brush it off, because the same could be said for people who watch tv or people who play video games. 

But after a while the thoughts start to sink in, and I start thinking about what it is that makes the internet, or gaming, more enticing than the real world. And I don't have a concrete answer, and what I have is based on opinion and speculation, but in thinking about this the last couple of days, I've come to a conclusion.

It's not the internet. It's not the games. It's the people.

The internet and gaming have provided us with new ways to connect to different people. These mediums allow people to select who they want to spend their time with based on what people like and what people do rather than the proximity of someone IRL who may or may not share one's interests. In not knowing the people that we interact with online (or in not knowing them as well) we are more likely to accept things about them and accept who they are and the way they express themselves. 

What I'm saying is, because we have access to people all over the world that we didn't have the ability to connect with before, we're no longer restricted to the small batch of people that we know IRL. Maybe the batch of people IRL can't be what a person needs. Maybe they're judgmental, mean, or just ignorant. Maybe they just don't get it or aren't interested in the same things that a person is. Sure, you can go do stuff with them, but you won't have the connections that you could have.

Now obviously, this is not the case for everyone. Some people (myself included) have been blessed enough to have IRL friends who work like internet friends. Those friendships are based on acceptance and being yourself AND you can go do awesome things together and hang out IRL. 

So why does it matter if you spend more time on the internet if the people you have to interact with on a regular basis aren't what you need them to be? Why conform to a societal standard of having "real life" friends if you don't actually get along with any of them? Why is it considered "anti social" if you choose to spend your evening raiding a village with a bunch of gamers from Australia? 

The world around us is changing very quickly, and so is the way that we communicate. So, I'm sorry, statistics, but I think you need to reevaluate this one. It's the people that make the difference--not the medium.