two in the morning . that's when haewon gave up on trying to sleep . she had to be awake in a few hours anyways for the wedding , which apparently needed eight hours just to get ready before the ceremony later that evening .
it wasn't like she was going in blind . she'd spent her entire upbringing putting on a perfect face , a scandal less background ; to be married off wasn't surprising . there could have been far worse people to be paired with . river had everything to offer an acceptable marriage for an hotel heiress with a family's name backing -- everything but kindness .
she'd expected at least some decency beyond a respectable distance and empty words . he played the role well . perhaps she was a better actress than him , well versed with playing the media acting like a lovesick chaebol excited about a marriage . she'd given countless appearances at his side to make it seem genuine with held hands , posed shots , the smiling off while looking at her fiancee impressionable to a younger generation . those in their luxury lifestyles knew it was planned , not with two large names coming together , but haewon hoped they could see that something planned didn't mean they had to hate each other .
that's what she wanted , truly . she couldn't force river to love her , and it was unfathomable in their world for something to develop that intimately . but she wanted a friendly relationship where they could still rely on each other in times of distress , something inevitable in their world . after all , divorce with these sorts of planning couldn't be considered unless something truly devastating from either party that would ruin their reputation . even a long term affair could easily be forgiven .
haewon had thought that , at first. perhaps there was someone he held in his heart he belonged with , and while she'd never experienced that sort of bond before , respectably would have allowed it to continue . even she'd seen star crossed lovers get ruined in their industry and ultimately cause a divide in a family .
but the longer she spent with him , the more she realized river was incapable of giving any sort of affection to someone . closed off , quick to separate himself from her , even giving a few blunt remarks that might have come across as rude if he hadn't said them so eloquently . as if he had no desire to get to know her at all .
haewon wondered what a marriage with him would be like . there were expectations they needed to fulfill , like any marriage had -- expectations of a family , heirs , countless more public appearances that weren't temporary -- it was going to be for the rest of their lives .
shut off already in a separate room in a large home she'd already moved in to . so much had been put in to the wedding , and haewon never considered truly calling it off ; her uncle had left the final decision with her that if she couldn't follow through , he'd trying to work apart the deal . she'd only excited the idea .
" oh . " she hadn't realized she was making noise . the kitchen was far from their respective rooms ; perhaps years of living so far away from other people had made her clumsy . she'd been pacing , still getting used to her new surroundings while sipping on from her water bottle with a massive engagement ring sitting on her finger . even then , fresh in her silk pajamas and hair braided back to keep out of her face , she kept the jewel on . appearances needed to be kept to everyone , down to the maids that cleaned the home .
just slightly alarmed at the sight of her fiancee , haewon put her free hand over her chest . a little bit of water from her bottle spilled on to the floor .
" i didn't mean to wake you up , if ... " she'd never seen him dressed so casually before . still , it appeared stiff , maybe even passable as work clothes , but it was hard to tell with him . maybe he'd been in the same dilemma as her and unable to sleep with the impending ceremony weighing on his mind . there was no way he couldn't be thinking about it . he couldn't be that stoic .
haewon grabbed a random towel off the counter that sat there , probably decorative . his home , her home now , felt monochromatic in a cold way in which everything had a designated spot . she refused to feel like a stranger in her own home and figured he'd let a little thing like that pass as she bent down to dry up the spilled water .
curious eyes lifted as she set the towel down and put her bottle next to it , arms comfortably crossed as she leaned on the counter . clearly ready to discuss with him , opening in an attempt to tell him how she felt . or at least , offer to him that she wasn't someone who would hover and respect his space . she wanted to be seen as dependable . perhaps , over time , someone he could trust .
haewon's voice squeaked . the only pitiful words that came from her were the same ones she'd asked him countless times , though this time , had a completely different annotation : " how are you doing ? "
plotted starter for @deerhunteer
