Hey Boss, I finished writing up that incident report you wanted.
I've included a list of procedures you should follow in the future to avoid mass employee casualties in the future. You don't need to follow all of them, but following at least one of the procedures will greatly improve employee safety.
Give all employees at least a two hour notice of when you'll be spending quality time with your polycule so they can evacuate the building.
Deactivate voice recognition in the Control Room when spending quality time with your polycule.
Use safety words that cannot be mistaken for voice commands recognized by the building's Master Control System when spending quality time with your polycule.
Do not spend quality time with your polycule in the Control Room.
Also, please be aware this list was approved by the Henchman Union and they will take legal action if you do not comply going forward.
WHO LET THE HENCHMEN UNIONIZE??
Anyway, the Honeydew Corporation Corporate Headquarters of Corruption is LOADED with defense systems that should finish any henchman hurt in a workplace accident off so that they can't sue. Don't you worry there. (Plus, nothing boosts efficiency like working in a building with grenade launchers attached to the security cameras.)
As for your list, I can't fulfill that first request on account of the profit loss we'd face with nobody in the building. The second request is a little iffy, because quality time with the polycule often involves me being tied up. And at times like that it's only logical to keep the voice recognition on in case I need to bark any orders or demands.
That third one... well ok, listen, I get it, but that was one time. I made the threat level thing scale based off of color and when members of my polycule call my face red, the defense system thinks we're in a class 7 emergency and... y'know it just kills anything that moves, it's a whole ordeal. I'll switch it to something a little harder to accidentally set off.
And the last one? Wellll I mean... It's kinda like, y'know it's a nice safe space. The monsters can't get through the hardlight reinforced door in case they ever breach. I just feel safer in there than out on the factory floor. So I'll pass on that one.
Seriously can't believe they unionized, that sucks. Hope they don't think this means they're getting paid!
The Honeydew Corporation solemnly bids farewell to the six camera operators who tragically passed away during the production of this post.
