Jun 18
Truly awful, evil, horrifying things have been done in the name of love.
To ignore that fact allows people to continue to use love as an excuse for their actions.
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Truly awful, evil, horrifying things have been done in the name of love.
To ignore that fact allows people to continue to use love as an excuse for their actions.
Love is not a morally pure force that fixes everything. Love does not automatically make someone a good person to know. Love does not prevent abuse.
It doesn't matter whether or not they love you. The question is whether or not they're hurting you. You should not have to put up with mistreatment because of something they feel.
What difference does it make if they love you? None. Their actions are the same regardless, and you are valid for recognizing the harm they've caused you.
Listen to me. Listen. Listen to me. Please.
You don't have to earn the right to call the suffering you went through abusive.
I keep seeing people say, "I don't think I have a right to say I was abused because it was never physical," and "I don't have the right to say I was abused because it wasn't that bad," and most infuriatingly, "I don't have the right to say I was abused because I know I was loved."
Please. I am begging you.
I was abused in countless different ways for a long long time, and I am telling you, you are allowed to call your situation abusive.
You don't need permission, and I don't care if someone else 'has it worse.'
You are allowed to call it abuse.
It's okay. You aren't disrespecting anybody. You aren't taking attention away from "real victims." You can acknowledge your situation is fucked up. You can call it abuse.
Happy new year everyone. I hope you have a kind 2026. And if it can't be good, I hope you can at least have comfort.
Do something nice for yourself. Even if it's something small. Get yourself a treat, drink some water, go on a walk, put on your favorite sweater. Play a game. Watch a movie. You deserve good things.
You don't have to feel bad for not wanting to be around the people who hurt you.
No, "but they're your family."
No, "but you used to be friends."
No, "but you have to put up with it because they're your partner."
No.
If someone hurts you repeatedly and there is no indication of them trying to do better, you are allowed to dislike contact with them.
So many people feel guilt over not wanting to be around people that intentionally hurt them.
It's not wrong of you to want distance.
It's not wrong of you to want to be treated well.
You were abused because people chose to abuse you.
Try not to blame yourself.
And try not to absolve them for what they did to you.
It didn't just happen. It was a choice. Someone chose to cause you harm when you were helpless to stop it.
You will be happy again.
The hardest thing about the low moments is remembering that they will pass.
You've been happy before and you will be happy again.
It's going to be okay.
There are kind people in the world
There are people who would care for you
There are people who would love you without expecting you to suffer for it
There are people who would be your friend. Good friends, who don't want you to hurt
There is more to the world than the cruelty you were force-fed
I promise you