I haven't known you for very long, but already I know that you're a wonderful person. Not only that, but you take the time to explore your characters so fully and investigate aspects that others might not, or think about reasons behind why your characters make even the smallest of actions. I always love reading your reasoning behind why Regulus (or Alastor) or or don't do any particular thing. As a roleplayer, I think that's one of the most important things, and you do it really well.
Send me the Mun's reputation. I can't comment, only post it.
Headcanon + safety blanket (metaphorically speaking. Or not); headcanon + the holidays
Send me a word plus 'Headcanon' and I'll give a headcanon based on that word.
;; safety blanket
honestly, regulus’ safety blanket is probably the knowledge that everything he goes through, everything he suffers through, is all worth it. because sirius is free. at least one of them escaped that room with some kind of hope for the future. he knows he has no future except for the one that his parents plan for him, except for the one demanded of him. but because of him, sirius was able to get out. sirius can live the life he wants, and it’s because of regulus’ sacrifice. so I honestly think that’s the knowledge that consoles him late at night when his vacant eyes stare hauntedly at the dark mark on his forearm. it was all so his brother could live free.
;; the holidays
the holidays are anything but good for regulus. school is at least decently safe for him. his parents aren’t there to hurt him, though he has to tread carefully around his fellow slytherins. mostly the holidays is a conglomeration of pain, darkness, and fake smiles for those pureblood galas he has to attend. it’s nothing like what other people have for the holidays: family, friends, happiness. it’s the inverse, really.
"Remus," Lily catches his hand as she darts past, giggling as she pulls him into an empty classroom. "I don't know if we're a thing or if we're even doing this," she steps closer, pulling his arms around her waist. "But Happy Valentine's day."
He should be used to the random tugging by now; well, that or his werewolf senses should alert him when someone's about to kidnap him, but he still get a minor heart attack when Lily pulls him into an empty classroom. Still, he can't help but smile, gladly hugging her by the waist. "I don't know what we are," he stresses the last word, since by now it's obvious -or he thinks about it this way- that they are something. "But Happy Valentine's day, Lil." Remus leans forward, brushing his lips softly against hers before kissing her properly. "got'cha something," he whispers between kisses, "and it's a good thing you're into corny, because," another kiss, "this is the corniest thing ever."
the first time, is during Christmas. They’re rushing through the corridors in hopes of being among the first ones to catch the Hogwarts Express to go home for the Holidays. However, due to having left packing for the last minute, they’re caught in a sea of students who are trying to do the exact same thing. It is barely possible to run through the halls, and so it’s not really a surprise when they get to a narrow corridor, so full of students that it almost feels as they’re standing in a queue. They lean against the wall and Lily looks up; she giggles, catching Remus’ attention, who also looks up, only to find some mistletoe gracefully floating above them.
They look up, then at each other, and then around. No one seems to have noticed, too deep into their own conversations, and they look at each other again. Lily smiles, amused by the situation; Remus laughs softly, because Lily usually leads him to do that. They’re twelve, and there’s mistletoe threatening to tangle around Remus’ hair, so he leans in and presses a kiss to Lily’s cheek. It’s quick and innocent, and before any of them can even think of anything, the students are moving again.
II.
Third Years are allowed to go to Hogsmeade on weekends now, so it’s no surprise to find the terraces of the Quidditch Pit empty. Well, that and probably the cold wind that wouldn’t stop howling. Still, being so close to the full moon, Remus doesn’t feel like being trapped inside, nor like being surrounded by tons of people in town, so he’s stayed and chosen the Quidditch terraces as his reading place for the day. However, the sharp senses of the wolf quickly realise he’s not the only one there, and soon he spots a curled up figure that smells quite like Lily Evans. Well, Lily and something else that makes his stomach shrink.
The smell is sadness; sadness and tears running down her cheeks, salty droplets that Remus’ sleeves soon try to dry. Lily’s received a rather cruel letter from her sister; she’s called her a freak, a monster, that she doesn’t want anything to do with her. The redhead is heartbroken, and he holds her as tight as he can, trying to protect her from those sharp words that still linger in the air: freak, monster. He’s heard them too, many times, actually, before entering Hogwarts, and he knows how much they hurt. There’s a great difference between them, though: he is all those things, she can’t be any, even if she tried.
Remus doesn’t know how much time has passed, for the Quidditch Pit is still empty and the wind muffles all sounds except for Lily’s uneven breathing against his neck. In a soft whisper, he reassures her she’s none of those things, before pressing his lips against his forehead. He keeps them there for a few seconds, then his own forehead replaces them. They are both silent for what it seems like a minute before Lily mumbles how she got his scarf all wet; Remus laughs, and soon after she smiles, too. Right there, he decides that smile is the most beautiful he’s ever seen, and makes it his new task to keep it at all costs.
III.
Remus doesn’t know if it’s real, or if he just has a very vivid imagination. The rational part of his brain swears it’s the latter —it has to be—, but the ‘animal’ part of him swears that the hickeys in his collarbone have Lily Evans written all over them.
It’s the end of fifth year, all prefects have organised a little ‘get together' in a room of the castle Remus' never seen (then again, there are plenty of rooms he's unaware of,) and of course that both Lily and him go. However, it turns out to be slightly different from what they've imagined.
Someone's brought firewhiskey and Gillyweed, and he shoots Lily an incredulous look that she, with that amused half-smirk that Remus has learnt to love, quickly shrugs off. Moreover, she gladly accepts the glass Amos Diggory hands her and asks for another one for him, saying that it's the end of term and they should have fun. Though sensing he'll regret it, when being handed his drink, he slips some wolfsbane on the glass. This is when everything starts getting blurry.
One hour, three glasses of firewhiskey and some Gillyweed later, Remus Lupin is totally smashed, and certainly Lily isn't much better. They're both stumbling down the corridors, giggling and holding onto each other to keep the balance, trying not to run into the walls or the armours, since a part of them is still aware that Filch could catch them. Remus feels arms loosely wrapped around his neck and he's almost sure his nose is against Lily's cheek; she says that his hair is like a brownish, fluffy cloud and he finds it extremely hillarious, to the point that he can't keep himself on his feet and falls against a door which, unfortunately, isn't locked. He drags the redhead with him and they both end up in the floor of a dusty classroom.
Remus thinks he says Lily's pretty, and something about her body on top of his that he can't quite recall; she says she's glad the classroom's empty and her fingers run along his jaw. The next thing he knows is that they're kissing, frantically.
His heart beats hard against his chest, there are hands everywhere and he can't point out the moment his shirt disappeared, or when did his hand slide under Lily's. Their breathing is irregular but, instead of pulling away to get some air, their lips just deviate to any other inch of skin exposed, as if scared that the other would disappear the moment they stopped touching.
Remus has no idea when he got to his room, nor he knows how he did it; he just has a vague memory including Lily Evans, Gillyweed and a quite passionate make out session. He swears that must've been a very weird dream until Sirius points out to the hickeys on his neck. He blushes but refuses to tell his friends how he got them. In fact, he doesn't say anything to anyone, and when Lily and him run into each other later that day it is as if nothing has happened, except for the light shade of pink in her cheeks. However, Remus thinks that could be because she was running down the hall.
IV.
Sixth year is full of surprises, and the greatest so far is waking up on a Saturday morning to a Marauder-less room and Lily Evans smiling in that contagious way beside him. They've spent the night together, they've had sex (twice, in fact,) and he's found out that, amazingly, she's crushing on him. Sixth year is full of bloody surprises, Remus thinks, staring at her with a not-so-discreet smile on his lips.
They get dressed in silence, stealing quick glances at each other, shy yet honest smiles in their lips. Lily is ready in no time and looks at him by the door. She thanks her for the chocolate and says she looks forward to their going to Hogsmeade (their date, to be more precise.) Remus gets up —shirt tangled up somewhere in the sheets, he doesn't really care— and, smiling, says that he is, too, arms wrapping loosely around Lily's waist. As their foreheads are pressed together, noses brushing, he notices a hickey below her earlobe. Inside him, the wolf growls proudly and he laughs; payback for last year, he thinks. When she asks what is so funny, he captures her lips in a soft, slow kiss.
Everything inside Remus seems to warm up with the kiss, and he could swear that wherever Lily touches him he just glows. He notices, too, that evidently he'll have to fight very hard the urge to do this whenever they run into each other in the halls —it feels way too good for not doing it. But they do pull apart soon, for the Marauders are probably heading back to the Gryffindor Tower. When the redhead leaves, Remus presses his back against the closed door and stares at the ceiling with a grin so wide that makes his cheeks hurt. He probably looks like an idiot, but the rapid beating of his heart replies that he doesn't care.
V.
Everything fits into place when he realises he's missed basically the whole Charms lecture in favour of daydreaming about Lily Evans. He's thought about them spending evenings together by the fire, curled up independently of the Marauders (especially James) being there or not, just both of them talking, kissing, being a regular couple. That's when it hits him: he wants them to be a regular couple. James has already told him that he's okay with it is that makes him happy (after a week of giving him the cold shoulder and even a muggle-style fight, of course,) and he knows that Lily wouldn't believe him a monster if he tells her about his condition. The only thing left between their regular flirting and a relationship has been him. And now he knows —he likes Lily; hell, he may even love Lily, and he wants them to be together, for once and for all.
Remus leaves the classroom as soon as the class is dismissed and quickly rushes down the halls to the dungeons, where Lily should be having Advanced Potions. He spots her almost immediately, talking with Marlene and Dorcas, two girls that, though he thinks are really nice, he doesn't really need right now, and decides to ignore. Almost without slowing down, he grabs Lily by her wrist and, as gently as he can, pushes her against the nearest wall. The redhead shoots her a puzzled yet amused look as he tries to catch his breath; a smile spreads across his lips right before he presses them against hers.
The kiss is rushed, yet not frantic; fierce, but gentle. Remus can feel the wolf agreeing with him, especially when his arm wraps around her waist possessively, his free arm cupping the back of her neck. He tries for the movement of his mouth to express all that he can't quite put into words yet — i like you, i want you, i want you to be mine, thank you, thanks for making me feel so good. As usual, his lips soon leave hers in favour of more skin, but this time they don't go passionately down her throat, but rather they kiss playfully her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids. He makes sure he's kissed everywhere in her face before pulling away, a wide grin making his flushed cheeks hurt. He doesn't really care, though; the only thing on his mind right now is the answer Lily can give to his next question:
“Good-bye?” Lily repeats, puzzled as she steps forward to rest her hands on his chest. He sounded hesitant, like he was saying something he didn’t want to, and she wasn’t going to indulge his request until she knew what was going on. “Are you going somewhere?”
Remus nods, slightly trembling hands finding home intertwined on her lower back so that she could ignore the shaking. The whole situation was kind of stressing —it is the night of the full moon, and by now he knows he won't be able to see her for a couple days more; at least not without being suspiciously beaten up. "Just a few days; my mum's sick, and i need to take care of her while my dad's out of town," he shrugs, trying to sound casual.
