Oh Deer || Ariana & Deirdre
Ariana goes over to Deidre’s to repair a leaky faucet. @deathduty
Ariana had been pleasantly surprised that the woman she spoke with online, wanted to pay her so generously for her work despite her lack of professional training. Deirdre had all but insisted she demand more for her services. So even if this woman loved math, she could look past that and happily do the job. With Grad Night and Prom around the corner, she could totally use the extra cash. She knew Celeste had been picking up extra shifts at the diner so that Ariana could have these experiences, but it’d be nice if she could cover the cost for herself. Celeste had worked hard enough to give them a comfortable life, she hated the idea of her working even harder. Fixing a leaky faucet was simple enough, so she headed to Deirdre’s with her tools in hand. When she arrived, she knocked on the door to indicate she arrived and waited for an answer.
Deirdre had lived with that forsakes leaky faucet for too long. Yes, it was a funny joke to try and invite people over to fix it. But with Morgan staying with her now, and an incessant dropping noise she had to live with, enough was enough. She opened the door gleefully to find the young Ariana. Good kid, she surmised. Even if she didn't like math. "Come in! Come in!" She threw the door open to her lavish home, spacious and filled with expensive furniture and delicate decorations, and ushered her in. "It's the faucet in the kitchen there," Deirdre pointed. The foyer of her house lead into the large, two-story grand room, which was then connected to her immaculate kitchen with the exorbitant looking marble counter tops and built in double oven. It was like a feature out of a magazine, and for all Deirdre knew, it probably was. "Would you like something to drink first? Water? Juice? Wine?" She paused with a smile, "that last one is a joke, obviously. Just testing you."
When the door opened, Ariana was a bit shocked to see the nicest home she’d ever seen in her life. Everything was immaculate. She didn’t realize people actually lived like this. She’d been sure homes that were this perfect only existed in display rooms or home magazines. Even with a google search, she was a little foggy on what all a life actuary did, but she concluded they must make a shit ton of money. Following Deirdre in, she said, “Wow, this place is beautiful.” It was no wonder the woman all but demanded she charged more for her time. Maybe if she followed that bit of advice, she’d have a house this nice one day. Well, maybe not this nice, she preferred things to have a little bit more of a natural element, but space would be nice. Her and Celeste had always had to live in somewhat small spaces. Her eyes immediately fell on the double stove, was that a range stove? She dreamed for that kind of temperature control while cooking. Shifting her focus back to Deirdre, she responded, “Water would be great. I’ve never actually had wine before. On the job and taking my sister’s car home is probably not the best time to give it a try.” She could hear the leaky faucet long before she saw it. “I’ll need to turn the main water line off so I don’t flood your whole kitchen. Did you have laundry or anything going you needed to turn off before I do that?”
Deirdre shrugged, she was aware her house looked nice but she'd never cared much for the fact. She had money, she might as well spend it. And luxury was the best way to. She turned and poured Ariana water in a delicate wine glass—for the joke. "There you go, now just pretend that tastes like funky grape juice." Deirdre poured herself a glass of red and sipped it slowly. "Oh," she laughed, "do I look like the kind of person that does her own laundry?" Amused, she dipped her head back and laughed louder. She did do her own laundry though, unfortunately. Since Morgan had started staying with her, it didn't make sense to bind humans into doing her chores anymore. She would miss those incompetent, yet beautiful, humans dancing around for her, but it was much better this way. Deirdre sipped her wine again, "yes, of course. You can shut it off. She gestured to her large glass windows and the door leading out to her deck and the equally immaculate backyard. "The valve is just outside, I think. Admittedly, I've never had to shut it off before. But it shouldn't be too hard to find, right?" Deirdre glanced outside, there was so much space. And a pool. And Ariana was so tiny. She might get lost out there, but Deirdre lifted no fingers to help.
Ariana couldn’t help but laugh as Deirdre gave her a wine glass filled with water. After taking a sip, she said, “So that’s what all the fuss is about.” She did a little air cheers before setting the glass back down. She’d been a little thrown off about the laundry comment. Did people really pay other people to do their laundry for them? She’d never heard of that, but she shrugged. “You really know how to live. Folding clothes definitely isn’t my favorite weekend activity.” When she was given the direction of the backyard, she made her way out to find the main water line. The yard was just as luxurious as the rest of the house. That pool looked super inviting, too. Everything was perfectly kept as well. She was sure if she had a ruler, every blade of grass would be exactly the same height. Without too much searching, she was able to find the main line on the side of the house and switched the valve to off. She’d been just about ready to head back in when her senses went haywire. She could practically feel the hairs on the back of her neck raising and heard the rustle in the trees behind her. Sniffing the air around her, it almost smelled like a deer. When she finally spotted it in the trees, something looked entirely off about it. It’s head seemed to be a different tone that wasn’t quite brown, but she couldn’t make it out. As the deer began to charge toward her, she remembered a common beast Celeste spoke about. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” She took off sprinting toward the house hoping that would be enough to evade it. This thing wouldn’t follow her in would it. Quickly closing and locking the door behind her, she called, “Uh, Deirdre, we might have a problem. You seem to have a friend out back.”
Ariana was a good kid, Deirdre decided. Most kids were good, usually. But that was beside the point. She sipped her wine, waiting for Ariana to return. When she did, frantic, Deirdre took another slow sip. “A friend?” She raised a perfectly manicured brow. “Hm, is it a bunch of dogs again? Leprechauns?” She shook her head with a laugh, gesturing for Ariana to come closer and ignore it. “I’m sure it’s fine. It’s not like---” But she’d spoken too soon, and behind them the deer charged into the house, shattering the glass. Its antler caught in a sofa, stuck there just long enough for Deirdre to take in its appearance: bright red head, large body. “Oh,” she blinked, taking another slow sip of her wine, “this is one of those ‘spinach’ things.” Deirdre turned to Ariana. “We probably shouldn’t let that touch us.” Her eyes trailed over the plethora of knives and swords she had on display (really, she’d just left them lying around but she called that display). The sianach reared back, head out of the sofa. It turned to Ariana. Deirdre took another sip. “I’d run if I was you.” And then it charged, trampling furniture in its wake.
With the door shut behind her, Ariana thought she was in the clear. When she heard the glass shattering, it became evident that would’ve been way too easy. She listed off other supernatural creatures before saying something about spinach. What the actual fuck was going on? Why was she so calm when a giant deer had just decided to rampage through her door? “A spinach thing? Sure doesn’t look like a freakin’ salad to me.” She ducked behind a table and out of its sight momentarily. This was supposed to be an easy faucet repair. Not a wild deer chase, or rather a wild wolf chase since she was the one being chased here. She grabbed one of the knives laying on the table she was currently hiding behind. It was weighted nicely, it could work. Inching away from behind the table, she had the deer thing in her sights and threw the knife at it. Grazing the left shoulder of the weird spinach deer, it made a shallow slice before it flew past and fell to the ground. Spinach deer definitely did not like that and began charging her way again. She bolted from where she was standing to the other side of the room. Wait, was Deirdre still drinking wine? Was she not freaked out by the actual wild animal in her living room? “Do these spinach things have any weaknesses I can exploit?” She threw a vase at it for good measure before darting to another side of the room.
“Well, it’s not exactly spinach. It’s close. I can never remember the names of these sorts of things…” Deirdre trailed off, following her sentence with another sip of wine. The deer, meanwhile, was having a real go at destroying her house. Furniture was getting knocked over or outright trampled, her nice wooden table sat in pieces in the middle of the room. And, of course, her beautiful window had been shattered in when it charged indoors. “Nope,” she said casually. Her wine was done. She moved to pour more. The clinking of glass alerted the creature and it pulled its head up, vision squared on Deirdre. The one person decidedly not throwing vases and knives at it. Angry as it was, it turned to what it assumed to be the easier target. And then it charged. “Hey!” Deirdre rolled out of the way, watching as the creature ran through her kitchen island--all that precious marble cracked around it. Then it charged again, through the other side and into her beautiful double ovens. “Hey, my girlfriend uses those!” She threw the bottle of wine at it, shattering red liquid across its already red fur. “They die like any other animal!” She called out, rolling and diving out of the way. Shades of glass caught in her palms and knees as she moved around, avoiding the creature’s insistent charging. Deirdre eventually made her way to Ariana’s side, panting and bleeding. “You should sacrifice yourself for me,” she joked. She could scream, but with all the charging and Ariana running around, it was hard to aim. And she didn’t want to hurt the kid, she never liked doing that. “Don’t touch it!” She urged again.
This thing was really beginning to piss Ariana off. She let out a low growl to try and intimidate it though it didn’t seem very frightened. If this was what was lurking around in people’s backyards, she was really going to need to work on trying to transform at will. She knew standing at 5’1” she wasn’t exactly the most intimidating in human form. Apparently it was ruining the stove that was cause for alarm and had Deirdre throwing a bottle of wine. “Your whole living room is destroyed but it’s the stove that gets your attention?” It made her laugh even though they clearly weren’t in the clear yet. There was shattered glass everywhere and this thing was definitely not relenting. The red wine only seemed to make it angrier. “Alright, so kill it without letting it get close enough to touch me? Need something with range.” She grabbed what looked like some sort of ancient axe and watched the deer carefully. This was a lot easier when the target wasn’t moving. She threw it across the room, but the thing was too quick, and it only hit the deer’s buttocks of all things. “Ugh,” she grumbled tugging at Deirdre as she rolled out of the way of another charge, this one taking down her dining room table. Hopefully she hadn’t been planning any lavish dinner parties. It looked like the now detached faucet was going to be the last of their concerns.
Did Ariana just....growl? Did she hear that? Deirdre squinted at the kid, rubbing her bleeding palms against her pants as it started to irritate her. “Because without an oven, I can’t get pie! I have priorities, Ari!” Deirdre rolled out of the way of another charge. She watched Ariana pick up the axe, eager to see that thing cleaved and then...watched it bounce harmlessly off its backside. “Great, if anything. Hopefully they’ll talk of the deer with the shapely ass at our funerals.” Not that they were going to die, Deirdre knew that. But jokes were funnier if you pretended someone was going to die. “Oh for fuck’s--” Deirdre pulled a knife out from one of several spots she had them concealed on her person. She wound her hand back and threw it, watching as it sunk easily into the deer’s ass---what should have happened with the axe. “See?” She turned to Ariana, “that is how you--” Her sentence was cut off by another charge, this one desperate. Maybe it was trying to escape? Deirdre didn’t know. All she knew was her TV was no on the floor, knocked down by the force. “Wait, I have an idea,” she panted, “why don’t I distract it?” It might have made more sense to have Deirdre, the one who spent most of her life learning how to kill, try to kill the demon-deer. But she worried, against her own judgement, about Ariana’s wellbeing. One role was certainly safer than the other. “And then you--maybe--throw something properly!” The knife jutting out of its backside made its movement sluggish enough for Deirdre to evade with more ease. It limped around, trying to get close enough to either of them, whistling out its pain and desperation.
If she weren’t currently trying to out maneuver a creepy ass deer, Ariana would have found Deirdre’s priorities to be funny. She could have a laugh about it later. Right now staying alive was the primary objective. She’d be damned if a deer was taking her down of all things. She hunted deer not the other way around. This was not how the food chain was supposed to work. “Don’t start planning our funerals just yet.” There was no way in hell a wolf was about to get taken out by a deer. Not on her watch. She watched as Deirdre’s knife stuck in the deer’s ass. Well, she definitely had good aim. Ariana much preferred fighting in close range which was way harder when you weren’t supposed to let something touch you. They could hardly get a word out before the next charge. This thing was relentless, then again, it did have a knife in its ass. Ariana would be pretty pissed too. Deirdre seemed to have a plan, though it seemed dangerous. At least this thing was moving slower now. “Okay, got it,” she said while grabbing several knives. Deirdre seemed to have the thing’s full attention so she began throwing blades at it before it reached her. The slowed movement made it easier to aim, the first knife landing in the side of its neck, at least bringing it down to its knees. Not quite dead yet. She threw another knife that landed just a few inches behind the first one. She looked to Deirdre, “Did that do it?” For good measure, she still threw another knife toward its stomach.
Deirdre suddenly realized that this was a bad idea. Not only was she ducking and rolling and sprinting out of the way of an enraged supernatural deer, but now she had to make sure none of Ariana's knives hit her too. Thankfully, the girl had better aim with them than she did with the axe. Deirdre huffed, jumping out of the way as the deer toppled over, bringing down more furniture and crushing a table under it. It whined, its voice thick and pained. Seeing a creature die never was much fun. She drew another knife and sunk it effortlessly into its skull. Deirdre could feel a light diminish in her. The creature went still. It was dead. "Good work," she looked up, smiling. Then turned her head down to survey the creature. Ariana landed three knives, all vital to bringing the creature down. It was, without a doubt, actually good work. "Don't touch the carcass," she held a hand out, "still can't touch the thing." She looked around to her house, damaged beyond simple repair and left in tatters and pieces; ruins. And her faucet, the leaky one, had been destroyed in all the chaos. "It's a good thing you turned the water off. We might have had to deal with flooding too," she stepped over broken glass and bits of sharp wood, dug out another bottle of wine, popped it open, and took a long sip. "There's no leaky faucet left now so I guess you did your job. Do you want cash or should I wire the money?" She eyed one of her vases, the one Ariana had thrown earlier. Wasn't that thing worth over a thousand dollars itself? Oh well.
Ariana felt relieved as Deirdre stuck a knife in the deer’s skull. She looked over her living area and it was effectively destroyed. Even going down, another table went with the damn thing. She felt bad the deer followed her back into the home. She’d have to help her with getting this all back in order. It then dawned on her that Deirdre knew what it was. “Got it, don’t touch it. So, if you don’t mind me asking, how do you know about this kind of stuff?” She watched and was a bit amused to see her going for another bottle of wine. “Oh, yeah, water would have not been a fun addition to this mess. Sorry it chased me in here. Need a hand getting it cleaned up?” She kept finding that Deirdre was full of surprises. Avoiding the broken glass on the floor, she walked over to check the sink. The pipes were not even remotely reparable in this state. “I’d say I’d turn the water back on, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Cash or Venmo is fine. Whichever is easier for you.” She picked up some broken wood from the floor and placed it in the bin, “Would you like me to come back tomorrow and help get everything cleaned up?”
"I'm Irish. I think you can figure out why I know so much, Ariana." Deirdre smiled. Yes, it was a stereotype to think of anyone Irish as being Fae but...well, it was true. She dipped the wine bottle back again and took another sip. "I don't need help," she sighed, "I'll just pay someone to come in and fix everything. I'll get some of my men to come pick up the body on gurney." Her men being the strange group she'd somehow roped into doing her deliveries for her. It was like having a group of servants on call for her. "Thank you, Ariana. When everything is fixed, can I have you back over? I'll loosen a pipe so you have to fix it and you can get a proper pay for proper work but for now…" she trailed off. Her phone was somewhere, she didn't know. She turned to the dented drawers and cabinets instead, trying to find any one of the wads of cash she had laying around for….who knows what reason. That was a mystery to her too. "Oh, here," she slapped a wad down on the broken remains of her kitchen island. The bundled cash was well over a hundred dollars, Deirdre didn't bother to count. It could be a thousand, it could be two hundred—it didn't matter to her. "Take that as payment and an apology. That poor deer thing ruined your fun plumbing experience."
Ariana’s eyes were wide and her face lit up at the realization that she must have been fae. Celeste had told her about fae before. They’d been prevalent in a lot of the audiobooks Celeste listened to on their drives, too. She’d always imagined wings, but maybe there was a way of hiding those. She subconsciously sniffed the air a bit. There wasn’t anything animal-like in the air besides the monster deer. “So, fae then? That’s super cool. On that note, I’m definitely not that kind of hunter. I just enjoy catching a deer during the full moon. I think you can figure out the rest.” She had circled back a bit to their online conversation. Meeting someone else supernatural was always exciting and Deidre definitely seemed like a good person to be friendly with. When Deirdre mentioned loosening a pipe again so she could do proper work, she let out a laugh, “You got it. Just let me know when. I’ll keep a better eye out for potentially dangerous friends next time.” When she took the cash, she could easily tell it was definitely way more than they agreed, too. She thought about saying as much, but quickly realized Deirdre would reject that. She did keep telling her to ask for more. “Thanks, Deidre. This was very generous of you. It was good actually meeting you, too. I look forward to having my proper plumbing experience.”
