#dek writes

[snarkymonkeyprime]

@magic-ramen, see, this scene replaces the original; thoughts?

     “Is this my prize for rescuing the damsel?”

     Face red, Nikolai fisted his hands in Jack’s shirt, attempting to push him back but the man wouldn’t budge.  “I’m not a damsel,” he muttered.  He squawked when Jack grabbed a belt loop and jerked his hips forward, unbalancing him back on the bed.  Jack hovered over him, still grinning.  “You’re . . . you’re very arrogant,” Nikolai managed, his heart pounding.

     “You like it,” Jack purred, lowering his head to mouth at Nikolai’s neck.  He groaned faintly.  “Nik, another time and . . .” he sighed, his ravaging fading into softer nuzzles against his neck. “Rain check, I think,” he said, sounding put out.

    Nikolai swallowed, already missing that possessive warmth.  He sat up as Jack did, straightening his hair and shirt while Jack did a very good job of nearly pouting.  He smiled at that.  “A bit too stressful right now, I think,” he said.

    Jack’s dark eyes flicked to him. “Yeah, something like that.”  He lifted a hand and rested it on Nikolai’s neck, thumb resting comfortably against his jaw.  “Just shit timing.”

    He sobered, remembering what had happened in the living room.  He drew away from Jack and asked, “Do you think I’m forcing you to feel this way?”

    Jack frowned.  “Huh?”

    Nikolai gestured vaguely to the downstairs level of the house.  “You can’t forget what . . . what I did to you.  What I’m doing to you.”  He wrapped his arms around his chest, a chill carving into his bones.  “I would understand if you think it’s all me.  I wouldn’t blame you.”

    The other man’s frown sharpened.  “For starters, I wasn’t lying when I said you were hot.  Had I ran into you on the street, we probably would’ve been under sheets in five minutes.” He shook his head and stood up.  “That ain’t it, Nik.  It’s this . . . okay, maybe it’s a little you.”  He held up a hand quick.  “But not in that way.  You’re missing parts of you.  I can’t . . . I won’t push anything with you when you aren’t all there.”  He sighed, hands on his hips.  “Fucking hate this shit; Lee’s better at it them me.”

    Nikolai’s heart thudded.  Between them, he could still see the faint blurs of silver and green, twined and drifting.  He smiled again and stood up, crossing to Jack and pulling the taller man into a kiss.  Jack’s surprise faded quick and he returned it though he broke it just as quickly.

    “It’s all right.  Maybe when we find this . . . whatever it is, I’ll be whole again.”  He took one of Jack’s hands, tracing the old scars.  “Promise me you’ll –“

    “Hell yeah,” Jack replied, grinning. He scowled playfully.  Green light shimmered behind his eyes as he leaned in and nudged Nikokai’s nose with his own.  “You better?”

     Distracted from the question, Nikolai touched the skin below Jack’s eyes, marveling at the color that lingered.  He’d never understood the need to describe a person’s eyes with gems.  But Jack’s eyes were . . . breathtaking.  Warm and liquid.  “Your eyes . . . they’re glowing.”

     Jack’s humor faded.  “What?”

     “There’s a light behind them.”  He focused on Jack’s eyes, seeing and feeling the man’s apprehension.  “Jack.  I think . . . I think I can see your soul.”

     He shivered, even as Jack’s hand tightened in his.

[snarkymonkeyprime]

Ah, showers; where great thoughts arrive and I have no way of writing them down and thus regurgitate a poor facsimile.

The door swung open and Eva, clearly newly awakened, squinted at him.  Her black hair was up in a messy pony tail and she wore an old faded, gray t-shirt and equally aged sweats.  Her don’t-talk-to-me-or-I’ll-turn-you-into-a-student-project outfit.

Oh, shit.  In his bewilderment regarding Dek, he’d not thought to check if Eva had worked the night or not.  If he was lucky, she’d still be willing to help him.  Or put him out of his misery.  Either worked.

“Kai Hunter Walker, you’d best be bleeding fatally.  I just finished a double at the hospital.”  Before Kai could answer, she turned her squint on Dek.  “Great.  You woke me up to show me your boyfriend.”

“Okay, in my defense?  I didn’t know you’d taken a double.”  Kai flailed his hands and retorted, “And secondly, does it look like I could get a guy like Dek?”

“You are a bit immature for my tastes,” Dek drawled.

“Thanks.  Didn’t need the help,” he grumbled.  Instead, he focused again on Eva and pushed his way into her apartment, ignoring the Spanish curse she threw at him as he did.

“Look, something really fucking we--” he halted, staring at Eva.  “Why do you look like an extra in Lord of the Rings?”

Eva muttered another string of Spanish as she shut the door.  She yawned and and frowned.  “You’re not making sense Kai.”

He gestured toward his face.  “The ears.  You go to a costume party or something?”

“Costume?”  His friend sighed.  “Kai, it’s the middle of November.  No.  I didn’t go to a stupid costume party.”  She swept her hand in front of her.  “Surgery, remember?  That thing I went to school for?”

“You claim she is a dear friend and yet you act as though you’ve never seen an elf before,” Dek pointed out, amused.  “Are you that unobservant?”

To his shock, Eva went pale and reached up to yank her hair down to cover her ears.  “Elf?  Who’s an elf?”

“Elves aren’t real,” Kai pointed out, confused.  He looked at Dek.  “But people don’t walk out of windows.”  Nor are there demons.  He didn’t think.  His head hurt.  So did his hand.  But remembering what started all this mess he very pointedly did not look at it.

Still holding her hair to her head, Eva turned her attention to Dek.  “You walked out of a window?”

“Apparently.”  He sighed.  “To be clear, on my end, I was . . . yanked.  There was no walking where I was concerned.”

“I didn’t yank you,” Kai pointed out weakly.

“Of that I am more than certain.”  Dek smirked.  “Someone did, however.  And you will help me find out who did.”

Shit.

[snarkymonkeyprime]

OMFG THE WORLD HAS ENDED.

An Alternative to Status Quo has been updated.

Save yourselves!

[snarkymonkeyprime]

Doot dee doo.

He swiped a card along a reader, the door chiming bright as it unlocked.  He pulled it open, gesturing for Bard to follow.  “I’m impressed though,” he mused, “you arrived early.”

     Bard glared at him, though grateful to be out of the cold. “You told me to.”

    Thranduil shrugged.  “My experience with humans is that they rarely do as instructed.  I’m assuming it a result of your comparatively short lives; makes you rather temperamental.”  

    He had to wonder if Thranduil was simply incapable of not being insulting.  He couldn’t quite understand how he and Elrond were of the same species. “If I’m asked to be somewhere at a certain time, I’m there at a certain time.  Don’t lump me in with your past mistakes.”

    The elf halted at the elevator, looking at Bard over his shoulder.  He said nothing, only gave Bard another intense look-over like he had the day before. “You’ve yet to prove that,” he pointed out with a smirk.  “Given that I am your employer, I’d think you’d try to be somewhat civil.  In that regard you are like every other human I’ve been unfortunate enough to know.”

    Bard’s hand tightened on his case.  “I’ll be civil when you deserve it.”

    Thranduil glared, his eyes darting down to the archery case. “I see you listened to Eredhon and his ridiculous request,” he mused.

    “Aye,” he murmured, uneasy with Thranduil’s full attention on him.

    “It shall be . . . educational to see you in action then.”

    Bard blushed but Thranduil was already focused on the elevator panel.  He followed Thranduil into the elevator, careful to keep his distance.  “I didn’t think I’d see you this early,” or at all, he added.

    “Small talk doesn’t suit you,” Thranduil replied.  He smirked at Bard’s grunt.  “Be thankful I have decided to employ you, Bard.  Beyond that, you owe me nothing.”  The elevator opened and Thranduil stepped out in a flourish of expensive fabrics.  His pale hair stood out like a banner against his dark coat.  He halted in the doorway of the room Bard had been in all the day before.  “I will consider the debt repaid based on the next quarter’s sales numbers.”

[snarkymonkeyprime]

*continued timid squeeing*  Repost as I added something.

Xerynn slammed his ledger down atop his desk, sending papers fluttering to the floor.  “I have told youtime and time again; solve the problem.  Do not engage in useless discourse with a madman.”

For once, Kai hardly noticed the outburst.  “He claims he crossed.  Shouldn’t we be worried?”

The god bared his teeth.  “No living thing can cross the boundaries between Chaos and this earth.  He is clearly mad; he may have thought he traveled but there is no chance he did.”

Kai frowned and folded his arms.  “No living thing, huh?”  He squinted.  “Dek did.”

Xerynn’s jaw tightened and he quieted.  “Indeed.  How that occurred has … perplexed me.”  When the silence lengthened, he sniffed at Kai.  “What is that face for?”

Kai’s eyes had widened to an almost painful degree.  “You just admitted you don’t know something.”  He snapped his arms out, palms to the floor and half-squatted, making a show of glancing around the room.  “Am I gonna die?”

“Shut up, you bloody twit,” Xerynn grumbled.  

The amusement faded and Kai straightened up.  “You have to admit, weird shit is going on right now.  Those deaths are linked.”

“By the fact he committed them, yes,” Xerynn remarked.  He tilted his head, the thick silver braid swinging like a bell pull.  “I had thought you realized that from the beginning.”

“No, asshole; I mean there’s a point behind it.  It’s not random.”  He wondered if he could use Xerynn’s braid as a handy garrote one of these days.  He jabbed the air with a finger.  “Each site is soaked in Chaos magic.  It gets worse each time.  He’s doing something.”

“And what would be this something?” Xerynn sneered.  “You humans are fans of conspiracies, after all.  A great many of you seem to think aliens had nothing better to do but build edifices and probe inbred farmers.”

Frustration leaked into his footsteps as he strode to Xerynn’s desk.  He pulled out his city map and slapped it onto the cluttered surface.  He tapped it.  “Here.  Look.  These are the locations of the murders.  Four points.  I think, he’s intending something here,” he stated, pointing to a block in the center of the attacks.

Xerynn frowned.  He folded his arms and leaned over the map.  After a moment, he muttered, “Possibly.”

“I really am going to die, aren’t I?” Kai remarked, grinning at Xerynn’s glare.

Xerynn’s black eyes flashed red and then settled.  “Go inspect it.  Take your pet and that annoying officer.  I assure you, it’s likely nothing but . . . if it will shut you up and get you out of my office, go.”

Kai retrieved his map and gave an exaggerated salute.  “Sir, yes, sir!”

“Every day I speak with you, I regret it all the more,” he retorted.

“Aw, I love you too, Xerynn,” Kai cooed, flipping the god off as he left.  The door shut behind him and he breathed out, his nerves fading.  He looked again at the crumpled map in his hand.  

Adam was up to something.  And whatever it was, it had hefty power behind it.  Xerynn had no way of stopping it.  The god had said he and his pantheon couldn’t touch Chaos magic.  Dek might be able to, but the demon’s magic even clashed with what little Kai could do.

He grimaced.  “Shit.  I really do have to do something, don’t I?”  He lifted his right hand, eye drawn immediately to the faint black spiral across his palm.  “All right, hand; let’s go figure out what a crazy dead guy wants.”

He trudged to the elevator and dug out his phone, dialing.  As soon as the gruff voice answered, he quipped, “Hey, Chernov; you miss me?”  He held the phone away from his ear, wincing.  As the elevator dinged open, he returned it and scolded, “Keep that up and you can’t come on my mission.”

Chernov sighed.  “Does this mission include you never speaking to me again?”

“You and Xerynn have a lot in common,” he grumbled.

“Kai, I warned you.  Nothing is connected.  Stay out of police business.”

“Fine.  I’ll stay out of it.”  He paused and hit the garage button.  As the elevator swept downward, he added, “I’m staying so far out of it, that I’m heading to a warehouse on 9th.  You know.  To stay out of it.”

Silence.

“God, I hate you.”

The detective hung up and Kai shrugged, stuffing his phone in his jeans.  Well, either Chernov would show up or he wouldn’t.  All he needed to do now was get a message to Dek and Jacob and he could get this over with.

He halted by his car and texted the demon and the private detective, inwardly impressed that Dek had shown little confusion over Earth smartphones.  He wondered what Chaos ones looked like.  He pulled a face as he imagined some wriggling Eldritch nightmare that housed a wee demonic soul or some shit.

“I watch too many movies,” he muttered, sliding into his car.

[snarkymonkeyprime]

*timid squeeing*

Xerynn slammed his ledger down atop his desk, sending papers fluttering to the floor.  “I have told you time and time again; solve the problem.  Do not engage in useless discourse with a madman.”

For once, Kai hardly noticed the outburst.  “He claims he crossed.  Shouldn’t we be worried?”

The god bared his teeth.  “No living thing can cross the boundaries between Chaos and this earth.  He is clearly mad; he may have thought he traveled but there is no chance he did.”

Kai frowned and folded his arms.  “No living thing, huh?”  He squinted.  “Dek did.”

Xerynn’s jaw tightened and he quieted.  “Indeed.  How that occurred has . . . perplexed me.”  When the silence lengthened, he sniffed at Kai.  “What is that face for?”

Kai’s eyes had widened to an almost painful degree.  “You just admitted you don’t know something.”  He snapped his arms out, palms to the floor and half-squatted, making a show of glancing around the room.  “Am I gonna die?”

“Shut up, you bloody twit,” Xerynn grumbled.  

[snarkymonkeyprime]

Next Barduil one-shot fic I’m attempting:

Bard owns a little corner market that the Barlings help him with and one evening, Thranduil runs in, looking for a last-minute ingredient for an important dinner.

[snarkymonkeyprime]

Well, I’m still toying with the CM/Barduil!AU but in the meantime, here’s that cop partners au.  :D  As promised, @piyo-13!!

They arrived at the jewelry store, two other squad cars already in attendance.  A small crowd had begun to gather across the street, a few onlookers gesturing and talking quietly.  

“As if they’ve nothing better to do,” Thranduil muttered.  His lip curled in disgust as he shut the car door.  “I assure you there’d be more had a body been found.”

Bard shrugged as he shut his own door.  “Harmless.”

Thranduil gave him a glare.  “Rarely harmless.”

“Are you going to keep sniping at me or can we get to work?”  He smiled serenely at the flare of nostrils.  “I mean, we can stand here and let you blow smoke or we can solve a case.  Up to you.”

The elf drew himself up to his full height and sneered, “You won’t last long here; that attitude will have you shipped back to Esgaroth faster than you can blink.”

Bard blinked as deliberately as could.  Then, made a show of looking around before throwing his hands up in the air.  “Guess you’ll have to try harder.”  He winked and sauntered into the jewelry store, his heart pounding violently.  He wasn’t one for such brazen hostility.  But that elf . . . maybe it was his beauty that fueled the arrogance but whatever the motive, Bard was certain he hated the bastard.

So glad I switched from one hellhole to a new one.  He bit back his irritation and focused instead on his kids.  Life in Dale would be better here.  His . . . notoriety from Esgaroth would be quiet.  High chance it wouldn’t filter past Captain Thorin.  He could put up with an insufferable prick to give his children a better life.

Glass crunched underfoot as soon as he crossed the threshold of the store.  At first glance, it looked as though the inventory had merely been tossed on the floor given the glitter and shine of shards.  Yet, the empty display cases told a different tale.

“Detective?”

He halted and took the hand of the patrolman in front of him.  Dwarf, dark brown hair, smiling eyes.  Durin etched on his nameplate.  

“Durin.  As in Captain Durin?” he asked.

The patrolman grinned.  “Aye, he’s my uncle.  My name’s Kili.”  He gestured for Bard and the now-arrived Thranduil to follow him.  “Every display was broken but not everything was taken.  According to the manager, he said they only took the most expensive out of each case.”

“That takes time,” Thranduil murmured.  He squatted before one of the cases, squinting at the ruined interior.  “Which means, they both researched the premises as well as the stock.  They knew what to take.  The rest of this,” he said, standing straight, “was theatrics.”

Which I’m sure you’re well-versed in, Bard thought.  He turned as another stately elf marched toward them.  “Bloody hell, they’re everywhere,” he muttered, careful to keep his voice low.

“Thranduil,” the elf remarked.  “I am pleased they have put you in charge.”  The elf blinked and focused on Bard.  “I am sorry; you are?”

“Detective Bowman,” Bard replied, extending a hand.  “Thranduil’s partner.”

A twinkle of amused warmth softened the elf’s eyes.  “Ah.  Well then.  My sympathies.”  He lifted a brow at Thranduil’s growl.  “Come, cousin.  I know you; you are a pain in the arse on a good day.”

“Cousin?”

He waved the hand he retrieved from Bard.  “Distant, I suppose.  But yes, cousin.”

Bard arched an eyebrow and looked at Thranduil.  Strangely, his partner refused to meet Bard’s eyes and looked wholly embarrassed.  Well, as embarrassed as an icy git could be.

The elf turned again to Bard and bowed.  “I am Celeborn.  And I am afraid that this is a rather . . . imperative case, Detectives.”  He sighed.  “They have taken the Light of Imladris.”

It took Bard half a breath to sort out what that meant.  He paled.  “You had the royal crown stored here?”

“No one knew it was here; only my staff, this jeweler, and those of the royal court.”  He sighed again.  “I am afraid that your suspects are those who would be most displeased to be questioned.”

Thranduil chuckled sourly.  “Welcome to Dale,” he muttered.

Bloody hell.  Maybe it wasn’t yet too late to reclaim his position in Esgaroth.