NEO Fuss
After another pointless argument between Spamton and Tenna, the TV decides to be the bigger person yet again, not only in size but also behaviour. But when he goes over to check on the other, he finds something very unexpected. Something that he must learn how to deal with if he wants to make things right again.
Word count: 3,959
Spamton and Tenna got into an argument.
Not a very surprising statement. Those two bickered all the time over the silliest of things. It was a repeating pattern: they disagreed over something, they started yelling, one or both of them would storm off, and then, they'd act as if nothing ever happened, forgetting what they were even squabbling about. It didn't seem as though this one was going to be any different from all of their past quarrels. Tenna already had the chance to cool down and realize he didn't even remember what they disagreed on in the first place. He sighed, laying on his back on the bed in his room in Castle Town. He could hear the distant whirl of his cooling system working overtime so that his processor wouldn't overheat from his previous anger. He should probably check on Spamton, shouldn't he? The little mailman had the tendency to hold a grudge but he couldn't stay mad at him forever, especially for something so trivial that Tenna had already forgotten. Right? The TV took a deep breath before pulling himself up. Continuing the routine, he left his room to find the salesman and check up on him. It felt as though he had walked the same path - out of town and to the abandoned area opposite to the way that used to lead to the entrance to the Card Kingdom - for the same reason a thousand times already. To check whether the other was still pouting and to make half-hearted amends if he was. Despite the repetitiveness, Tenna never found himself feeling bored or annoyed. The routine was so familiar, even back from the Big Shot era, that he grew rather fond of it over time. After all, they were just silly squabbles and nothing serious. And he wasn't going to complain if it meant he had an excuse to visit the other. They still weren't on best terms after everything that happened, but they had at least gotten over their hatred towards one another. The atmosphere around them was more lighthearted nowadays, even if it didn't come close to how friendly it was during their prime. And the two weren't looking forward to talking all of their frustrations out, so whatever they had now had to do.
His thought process came to an end as he was about to turn to the alley where Spamton lived. Tenna couldn't understand why the other would rather spend his days and nights on a secluded pile of rubble when he had Ralsei offer him his own room at the castle, but he decided not to ask. Spamton wasn't in the best headspace, so it was better not to prod him with too many questions. Unless one wanted him to snap or glitch out, that was. Tenna peeked around the corner, expecting to find the short scam artist sulking on top of a mound of trash and mumbling incoherently to himself as usual. However, what he saw was something new and unexpected. Instead of the small Darkner that he was used to, there was a huge, colourful mech with wide wings, weirdly long but thin limbs and Spamton's head. It was standing with its back turned to the entrance, arms crossed, looking as though he was fuming in silence. Tenna gulped. It wasn't the first time he saw Spamton in that state and he didn't like it at all. The last and only (until today) time he saw Spamton in his NEO form was when they first truly reunited, and it was NOT a pleasant experience, to say the least. From what he was told by Kris afterwards, he got that Spamton couldn't fully control his NEO body, nor could he control going in and out of it. It depended entirely on his feelings and emotions. Though Tenna's size-changing abilities were also dependent on his mood, he was still able to control his size if he focused enough. Spamton could not, which could get quite tricky, especially with his unstable mental state. Long story short, he was upset. Very upset.
Tenna swallowed harshly again. This wasn't right. Spamton never got THAT upset over their bickering! Could it have been that the TV host had struck a nerve? He felt his gut twist a bit. If that was the case, then it was REALLY bad; he couldn't for the life of him remember what they were even arguing about! No matter how much he racked his brain, nothing came up. He dreaded going over there and trying to talk to the other, especially with how his last NEO encounter went, but he couldn't just leave him like this. He had to do SOMETHING. He took a deep breath and let out a small huff, trying to gather some courage. He has got this. He quietly, but swiftly, made his way forward, trying to seem nonchalant even though Spamton didn't see him. He still had his back turned on him. Tenna wasn't sure if he just didn't hear his footsteps or if he was actively ignoring them. The TV stopped a few feet away from him. He hesitated before clearing his throat, trying to get the other's attention. Spamton didn't turn to look at him but the twitch of his wings showed that he heard him. So he was ignoring him. Great. Tenna forced on a wide grin. "Spamton, buddy! Eheh... How's, uh... How's it going?" He asked, trying to sound casual. Spamton didn't respond. Maybe he has not got this. "Um... Beautiful day we're having, no?" The host rubbed the back of his TV head, silently pleading for an answer. There was none. He was starting to get more nervous. "Uhm... See, about our, um... CONVERSATION from before... Heh..." Still nothing. Not even a twitch this time. "You know I didn't mean anything I said, right?? C-come on, we're buddies! I would NEVER mean any harm, you know that!" He exclaimed, practically begging the other to respond or at least give him something to work with. But there was nothing. He didn't even look at him.
Tenna's helplessness was starting to turn into frustration. When was the last time Spamton got THIS grumpy over a stupid argument!? It must've been ages ago when they were still working together. But back then, his business partner didn't turn into a giant and unpredictable robot! How was he supposed to know what to do!? It wasn't like he could use the same tactics he used years ago to calm him down! ... Or could he? Tenna cleared his throat and fixed his tie. He was definitely asking to be punched in the screen but he had no other ideas. He put on his best sly grin and stepped closer, leaving over Spamton's shoulder to hopefully get a glimpse of his face. "Hey Spammy~" he spoke playfully. "Why don't you turn that frown upside down?" Spamton didn't react so the host decided to go a step further. He poked the other's cheek. "Come on, you know I LOVE that smile almost as much as you LOVE TV~!" At that point, Tenna would've been more than happy to get punched in the screen. The salesman was still ignoring all of his attempts, his face as steel and cold as his NEO form. The only new thing was that his wings twitched a little again. Even teasing couldn't get a reaction out of him! The TV was running out of options fast. His smile soured. "Come on..." He poked the other's cheek a few more times. "Not even a smirk!? You know how much I hate silent treatment, Spammy!" Tenna's nonexistent eyebrows furrowed. That was it, wasn't it? Spamton was keeping quiet on purpose to rile him up. It wouldn't be the first but he used to be easier to crack than that. Back in the day, he would already be swatting at him and telling him to shut up while trying to hide a smile. Was he ever this stubborn?? What did Tenna do when the businessman was being this stubborn??? "Damn it...! Uhhh... F1??"
Suddenly, a small, Spamton-shaped angel materialized right next to Spamton. He turned his head a little to look at it, his expression softening slightly from surprise. Meanwhile Tenna grinned victoriously. "YES!" He exclaimed excitedly. Ironically enough, the F1 angels were always his biggest allies during his past bickering with the little mailman, much to the other's dismay. They always took his side! Well, mostly because he was the one to call for them, and he was pretty sure they couldn't actually understand what was going on. But it still counted! Definitely! He watched in anticipation as the smaller, cuter version of Spamton let out an equally small and cute coo, clearly happy to have been summoned. It looked like it was about to fly over to Tenna but it paused when Spamton let out a frustrated huff and turned his head away. The little helper's smile fell. It looked between the two before it turned its back on the host as well, crossing its arms and mimicking its bigger counterpart's resentful expression, though in a much more pouty way. It let out a disapproving, offended chirp, matching the atmosphere. Tenna's jaw practically dropped. He gripped his TV head with both hands in distress. "NO!" He shouted, absolutely distraught. How could it have not worked!? It ALWAYS worked! ALWAYS!!! The F1 angel soon disappeared, not having helped ease the tension at all.
NOW Tenna was frustrated. Spamton wasn't going to budge? Fine. He'd just have to make him do so the old-fashioned way. No more games. "You wanna be like that? Huh?? Fine!" He snapped. "Play unfazed all you want but you can't keep it up forever! Come here!" Confused, Spamton was about to tilt his head to get a glance at Tenna but he didn't get a chance to do so as he felt the other wrap his arms around his waist, pinning his arms to his sides. In one, swift motion, he was lifted up from the back. He let out a startled squawk, his wings extending instinctively, accidentally hitting the other in the screen. The TV host grunted but didn't let go. Instead, he dug his fingers into the salesman's waist, making him screech again, this time from the intense ticklish sensation it caused. His wings fluttered wildly, repeatedly smacking Tenna's head. The TV made another disgruntled noise, tilting his head back to avoid the involuntary punches. He didn't stop though, he was way too headstrong and determined to get Spamton out of that annoying funk he was in. His fingers prodded without hesitation with a mix of annoyance and mischievousness. If that overgrown bird wasn't going to give in on his own, then he'd make him do so. He could feel the other tense and start to squirm in his arms, letting out displeased sounds while doing so. He might've been in a different form, but he sure did have the same exploitable weaknesses.
Tenna's hands tried to creep over to the other's stomach but every time the tips of his fingers so much as grazed over it, the spam email would shriek and try to curl in on himself. Of course he did. It had always been his worst spot, after all. Now, if it were any normal day, Tenna could easily just hold him down with one hand and tickle him with the other. But, to him, there was absolutely nothing normal about the current situation, other than his old colleague's stubbornness. And even then, it seemed unusually excessive. That whole entire thing seemed excessive and unnecessary and he still had no idea what he did for it all to spiral like this! For Spamton to spiral like this! ... Well, when he thought of it like that, Spamton was already spiraling BEFORE the whole squabble. He hasn't been the most mentally stable individual lately, to say the least. But still! And that NEO form thing was just making everything three times harder! He never had anyone be physically capable of putting up much of a fight against his, dared he say, top-notch tickling skills. But now that Spamton was almost as tall as him? It proved to be quite the challenge to keep him still with all that flailing and resisting. But Tenna was determined! A bit annoyed, but determined.
His embrace grew tighter as he fought against the other's squirming, his nonexistent face cringing at the constantly fluttering wings. Spamton seemed more irritated than anything, trying to escape him with a crooked scowl. The TV didn't know what he was expecting anymore. Despite his initial motivation, he was starting to have doubts. Was it really worth it? Would it not have been better if Tenna just let him cool off on his own? But Tenna wasn't ready to quit just yet, not when he had already gotten so far. Too late to turn back now, he supposed. He had a feeling he could break the other if he could just reach his stomach and stay there for a bit. His grip tightened as he tried again, this time with more luck, managing to scribble his claws over the mech's stomach. Spamton cringed as he was unable to push his hands off this time around. His lips pressed together tightly and even his eyes shut from the effort to hold back. Did Tenna finally get it? Was the salesman about to give up? The TV host's hope resurfaced. If he could keep it up just a little longer, he'd finally win! He sped up slightly, trying to make the other really feel it. Just a bit longer! Just a little bit more and they were home! Just a little...
Suddenly, Spamton let out a squeal. And along with the noise, his NEO form unexpectedly began to retract into itself towards the head in a swift manner. It caught Tenna off-guard and he instinctively moved his arms back. When the mech fully retracted, all that was left was Spamton's proper body in the place where the NEO head was, some distance above the ground. It wasn't long before he started falling with a startled yelp, but Tenna quickly snapped out of his shock and caught the other before he could hit the ground. He brought the now small businessman close, holding him against his chest as the puppet laid in his arms on his back. Spamton looked up at Tenna, only to see that his screen went completely black. He stared up at him for a moment. Awkward silence hung in the air for a moment after the whole fiasco before the little scammer broke it. He tried to grin but it came out awfully nervous. "HEHE... [[10% OFF]], HEH... HOWZA, UHH... [[How you doin'?]]" he asked, shining his best award-losing smile. "..." Tenna didn't respond for a while before a wide, toothy grin slowly spread across his dark screen. Spamton gulped. That wasn't good. The TV spoke in a sickeningly sweet voice. "Why, hello there~"
Before the other could even start begging for forgiveness, the host moved one of his large hands up and buried its fingers into his small stomach, making him squeak in panic and ticklishness. He burst into laughter when he felt the other poke scribble all over. He kicked his legs hopelessly as he squirmed in the firm, yet careful, hold. "NOEAHAHAHAHAA!! [[Cathode]]!! MEHEHEAHAHAERCY!!" Hearing that familiar, goofy laugh, Tenna's screen brightened, his antennas perking up. His grin softened a little, although it was still filled with a huge amount of mischievousness. He didn't expect THAT to happen but he certainly wasn't complaining, especially not when he was finally able to get some revenge for all the trouble he had to go through just to get him talking. "Oh, NOW you want mercy!? Well, you certainly weren't so forgiving when you were throwing that little hissy fit of yours, were you!? Nooo, I don't think so~!" he exclaimed teasingly. "Where is your huge mech now, huh? Where's that big, intimidating, grumpy Spammy that was resisting SOOO much!? Hm??" his voice began to take on a more playful note. "Maybe there's a button I need to press to get him to come out again, hm? Maybe here?" he poked one of the puppet's ribs on his right, making him squeak. "Or maybe here??" Tenna sunk the tip of his finger into his left side, earning another squeal. He lifted his finger up and began moving it around in circles in the air, pretending to think. "Orrr, what about riiight...-" his finger stopped right above a certain spot that made Spamton even more nervous than he already was. His face turned red as he began to giggle in anticipation. "WH- WAIT!! [[Tennessee Resort]], DON'T-!!" he was cut off as Tenna poked him right on the belly button. "-here!" The small salesman let out a shriek in laughter, trashing around uncontrollably as Tenna's finger circled around the sensitive spot. It was always his worst weakness and that didn't seem to have changed much from the time they had worked together. "NAHAHAEHEHEAHA!!"
It was hard for Tenna to stay mad at Spamton for being so difficult when he was laughing with that goofy yet nostalgic laugh of his. He only ever laughed like that when he couldn't control himself (which was absolutely Tenna's fault most of the time). It left a bittersweet feeling on the host's tongue that he didn't necessarily hate. Quite the opposite, it was somewhat comforting, knowing that even though time passed and circumstances changed, some things would always stay the same. Of course, he couldn't let the other know that. So he reluctantly took his hand back and cleared his throat, regaining his composure. He waited for a moment for the puppet to catch his breath. Spamton let out a small cough before panting, trying to stabilize his breathing. He hadn't laughed like that in ages... And his lungs weren't used to it anymore. After he got his breathing in order, he heard Tenna speak. "So.. we're done pouting now?" The salesman looked up at him. He stared at him for a short moment before he scoffed, crossing his arms and looking away with a bitter expression, seemingly having remembered what the situation was before the whole tickling fiasco.
Tenna let out a sigh, his smile falling and his antennas slumping down. "Spamton..." he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "... I'm sorry." Spamton closed one of his eyes and looked at the TV with the other, his scowl softening a bit at just how genuine the sentence sounded coming from the other. "I..." the TV host turned his head to the side, not wanting to face the man he was holding. "...don't remember what we were arguing about. I CAN'T remember, no matter how hard I try." he turned back towards the businessman, his hand resting on the back of his neck. "But I'm sorry. I've never meant to strike a nerve this much." he paused. "... You know that, right? That I'd never REALLY want to hurt you...?" Spamton looked away with his one open eye, his face cringing in nervousness and slight guilt. The relationship between them as of that moment was.. strained, to say the least. Their best years of friendship were long gone. They couldn't even go one moment around each other without starting a fight over something ridiculous and utterly pointless. The atmosphere between them felt like a warzone. And yet, Tenna was right there. After all that time being apart, after all the hurt and resentment had been brewing up for years, he still bothered to come over to that pile of garbage the puppet called "home" and check whether or not he let the argument go. And he tried so hard to be able to properly apologize to him, going through so much trouble just to get him to forgive him.
"... I [[Knowledge Acquired]]..." Spamton eventually responded, not looking over to see the other's reaction. He just wished that the moment would end. It made him feel a kind of unease that he desperately tried to avoid. Meanwhile, Tenna perked up at what he decided to perceive as a sign of forgiveness. A red flower bloomed on his nose as he grinned in endearment. He brought the other closer, squishing him against his chest with a squeak. "Awh, Spammy!" he exclaimed as the other struggled against him. The salesman managed to push his face and torso away from him and he let out a huff. "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!! [[Enough Stock For]] WITH THE [[Perfect Valentine Gift]]!!" Tenna let out a short chortle and reluctantly pulled away. "Awh, fineeee." He groaned lightheartedly while Spamton opened his other eye and looked at him. "You won't even let me have this little moment after all this time, will you?" he chuckled again, clearing not taking it personally. Spamton just rolled his eyes, though he was glad that the TV wasn't brooding anymore.
Tenna tilted his head, looking down at the other. "Actually, Spammy, can I ask you something?" The puppet looked up at him with a questioning look. "OH, UH, [[Agree2all]], WHAT'S THE [[Trivia Questions]]??" "What WERE we arguing about anyway that got you so worked up? It had to be pretty big if it upset you so much that you got stuck in your NEO form." Spamton's expression suddenly went blank. The TV host's smile started to slowly fall. "Spamton?" " UHHH..." the small scam artist was speechless for a moment before another nervous smile made its way onto his face. "EHEH... I, UM... [[Forgive & Forget]]...??" he admitted unsurely. The other's screen took on a deadpanned expression. The flower on his nose lost its petals, which fell down onto the ground. They stayed in a tense silence for a moment before Tenna spoke up. "You what." he asked incredulously with a hint of anger in his voice. Spamton chuckled anxiously and looked away, fidgeting with his hands and a panicked grin. "EHEAHA, [[Affirmative]]... BUT, AH, IT'S NO BIG [[Dealz]] NOW, RIGHT??" The area went quiet again. The ex businessman's award-losing smile was back in its full glory as the tension rose again. Then, the TV's expression twisted into pure irritation. "You WHAT." his hand made its way back onto the other's stomach, prodding at it again and making the him burst out laughing almost instantaneously. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO GET YOU TO FORGIVE ME AND YOU JUST FORGOT WHY YOU WERE OFFENDED!? BUT YOU WERE STILL POUTING ANYWAY!? AFTER EVERYTHING I HAD TO DO TO GET YOU TO EVEN TALK TO ME, AFTER THAT WHOLE TANTRUM YOU THREW, YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY YOU WERE DOING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!?!?" Tenna yelled and ranted as the small salesman squirmed in his grip, laughing his little lungs out in both panic and ticklishness. "EHEAHAHA!! [[Me, Myself & I]] SORRY!! I'M [[Apology Gift]]!!" he managed to blurt out through all his squeaks and laughter as he trashed around helplessly.
It was going to be a long rest of the day for the two of them, which was most likely going to end in another pointless argument that was going to start the routine all over again. But, if they were to be honest (which they would never be), they didn't mind having an excuse to see each other again in the near future. Spamton especially didn't mind having a visitor come over every now and then. Even if it meant having his undeniable weakness exploited during their confrontations. Especially if it meant having someone hold him in their arms like he still mattered. Like he was worth all the trouble.
Here's your star for making it to the end :)
Not fully beta-read but I couldn't be bothered. I've got a writer's block on beta-reading and I've been working on this for way too long anyway, it's about time I delivered on what I promised. It's gonna be posted on my AO3 as soon as the maintenance is over.