dementedfangirl (I moved it into separate post, because I wanted to respond to you, and not into an year-old thread :)
The fear stories are there for a reason - Thoth has never shown his bad side to me, and I really really hope it stays that way. I’ve experienced his disappointment and anger though, during a confused period when I was considering stepping back from him and not prioritizing his worship, which ended with me getting slapped in the face while prostrated before his shrine. Even that small taste of what Thoth could do to fuck me up if he wanted to was rather scary, so yeah, I fear my beloved patron. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the daily joy and devotion being in his presence brings me far outweighs every ounce of fear, confusion, and self-doubt that I could ever have.
There are so many "fear" stories around. As well as warning that working with Gods is not always "sunshine and daisies". In hangedwoman 's post about deity dedication I reblogged yesterday, there were words "You must be familiar with how the deity acts and what they stand for. You must accept them completely—the good and the bad. The dark aspects of their personality do not go away just because you become their devotee." Accepting the "dark" aspects doesn't mean that one will necessarily experience them. Thoth never shown his "bad side" to me too, besides some things that I asked for, myself (and he warned me that this may be painful and hard; but nothing was done without my consent and understanding, at least basically, what I'm asking for). So, sometimes the results were "turning my life upside down" for greater good. I lost a job several times, probably with his involvement, but these jobs were bad and I deserved better. There were some broken friendships too, but it also turned out for the greater good. But yeah, he did all these things with his personal style, reflected in the myths :) Interesting that when I stood in the temple of Dakka, literally covered by inscriptions glorifying Thoth as the Lord-of-Terror, I felt no fear at all :) Dakka is the sanctuary of peace. I'm not afraid of him, himself, because it's a question of trust, and I trust him completely.
The only thing I'm really afraid of, it's being put into "wrong" afterlife (like the poor viking dude in "Saga of Bjorn" cartoon :) One of the reasons why I read the spells of the Book of the Two Ways carefully, and he's joking that I need to memorize them in Ancient-Egyptian :)
