The Assassins as Roommates: Christmas 2019
“Shoes? They’re wonderful! Many thanks.” Haytham returned to his seat beside Ziio, who’d gotten comfortable in the giant, quilted blanket she’d gotten. Draping it over them, Haytham held her hand beneath the folds, and Ziio leaned against him.
“They’re dancing shoes.” Edward joked, a twinkle in his eye as he gave Connor a shoulder.
“Since the genes seemed have skipped a generation, Father.” Was his grandson’s response, and they broke out in laughter.
“Burn, mate!” Jacob was clutching his sides, Alexios laughing beside him. They’d begun their game of White Elephant in the backyard. There was a chill in the air, snow on the ground, and a gray sky above them; and god were they happy. Ziio had started a bonfire nearby. There were similar set ups scattered around the backyard thanks to Claudia, Aveline, and Elise. Everyone had arrived. From Bayek to Desmond, from Aveline to Adewale, Assassins and Templars from around the world had joined for this time of year. The game was concluding it’s first round, the round where everyone opened the gifts, and was about to begin it’s second round, where the stealing of gifts began. The gift could be stolen only twice, then it was gone forever. Eyes darted as friends became foes, and enemies made truces.
“I’ll get those daggers if you help me get the cowboy hat.” Arno leaned in to Alexios, and Jacob pulled his boyfriend away.
“Aye, no cheating, mate. Besides, Alexios is helping me get Liam’s ropedarts, aren’t you, babe?” Alexios looked between the two and sunk lower in his seat. “Babe?!”
“I’ll have you know I dance wonderfully.” Haytham declared proudly, and looked to Ziio. “Right, dear?” Ziio’s eyes went wide and she looked at Connor, who’d begun laughing anew, clutching Edward for support.
“You dance wonderfully, dear.” Ziio assured loud enough for the other Kenways to hear and gave Haytham a kiss on the cheek to solidify the fact.
“All these relationships,” Altair voiced to Ezio, “Let’s hope the happy couples don’t take anything out on one another. However, I’d love to see what Claudia does to Yusuf.”
“You and I both.” Ezio laughed but then rose a brow. “Though I don’t like the way Maria is looking at you.”
Altair followed his line of sight and gulped. Maria pointed two fingers at her eyes and then back at her husband’s, and Altair, remembering his tardiness at his birthday, felt himself shrinking. “You and I both.”
“Time to steal!” Malik shouted. Those who loved their gifts tried hiding them behind themselves, behind other people, or making them seem uninteresting. Yusuf took Claudia’s hidden blades under his arms and pulled her near.
“I’ll protect you, Claudia.” He declared dramatically, kissing her cheeks and wrapping his scarf around her to protect her from undeserving eyes.
“Yusuf!” She could barely make out between laughing fits. Ezio eyed them, but said nothing. It appeared their relationship was growing on him.
“This spear? Not that great.” Alexios said with an eye roll.
“I can’t stand these hidden blades, if anyone would like a new set.” Shay said.
“Oh, we all know why you don’t want hidden blades.” Liam said under his breath, making Maria laugh.
“What was that?” Shay asked, and Liam looked around.
“Wouldn’t recommend this shield. I will do everyone a favor by hanging on to it.” Phillip sat on his shield, finally at eye level with Adewale.
“If anyone wants to take this axe, then I guess it’s fine.” Demetri leaned against Aveline, his newest crush. “I’ve seen better.” Both Gerard and Liam eyed it.
“Anyone touches my bow, you’re losing a limb.” Aveline secured it behind her back and Demetri nodded.
“I’ll steal from you, you steal it back?” Demetri winked and, for once, Aveline didn’t roll her eyes at him.
“Deal.” Demetri, who was number one, took her bow. Aveline was number three, so all she had to do was wait.
“Already lost one.” Malik grinned, and walked across the circle of gasping faces as he stole it from Demetri.
“The betrayals begin!” Elise shouted and Arno laughed, hushing her.
“Don’t incite a riot already.” He begged.
“Bet you won’t hit ‘em.” Maria yelled and then hid her face behind Altair’s shoulder.
“No!” Altair pulled her into his chest and held her before Malik. “If you’re going to start a fight, don’t come to me to end it! Take her, Malik! Take her!” Maria’s body shook, her mouth open, unable to draw breath from how hard she was laughing, slapping her hands weakly against his chest. Altair tucked her back into his chest, kissing her head and nestling around her. It was comical the way he had to hunch down to compensate for her smallness.
Malik puffed his chest. “Don’t call me Altair’s right hand man for nothing. Besides, I was quite the archer back in the day.”
“When you both arms, you mean?” Altair called from his place in between Maria and Desmond. Both buried their faces in their hands.
Malik snapped, “No, when my eyesight was bett- yes when I had two arms, you jerk!” Both men threw their heads back in laughter. No one understood their humor like they did.
Aveline sputtered, “Malik!” She handed it to him, and Demetri glared.
“You’re making a grave mistake, mon ami.” He said.
“It’ll be decoration for my study.” Malik chuckled, and bowed low. “We were getting a bit too chummy. The best gift of all, is your distress.”
Aveline was next, and she looked at Alexios’s spear. Alexios lost his spear but took Arno’s hookblades. Yusuf took Gerard’s dinosaur onesie. Gerard was happy to see it go and stole Phillip’s shield. Kassandra stole Adewale’s sweater.
“How will I fight if I’m freezing?” She explained, getting into it. “I’ve never lived anywhere this cold.”
“Kassandra,” Alexios now rethinking his gift groaned, “Switch with me.”
“I told you to bring your jacket!” Jacob removed his own and threw it over Alexios, wrapping him up in his arms.
Evie was fine with her jacket, and Henry took Jacob’s Captain’s hat. “Mate!” Jacob frowned.
“I’m the captain now.” Henry winked, placing it expertly on his head. Evie stuck a tongue at her brother.
Once everything was stolen, the scene looked a little like this. Elise spun nerf guns, Arno tilted a cowboy hat, Connor held the wanted axe. Edward stole the Captain’s hat and left Henry with a scarf. Ezio took the shield, Phillip a giant nerf gun, Demetri shoes, Gerard throwing knives. Alexios ended up with a belt, Maria a coat, Desmond a hood. Altair lost his mind when he saw him wear it, and Ezio cried real tears. Yusuf won a globe, Claudia new hidden blades, Bayek a watch, Aya a helmet. Finally, Shay a book, and Liam dual cutlasses.
The fight began as it did every year, with the frustrations of the past hour pushing them to pick targets. Connor ran after Haytham, per his tradition, and this year was aided with Adewale and Edward. Shay and Maria were mid-duel. Maria span, tricking Shay into loosening the hold on his sword and then elbowed him in the ribcage, straightened her arm, and held him at swordpoint. Scooping at handful of snow, Shay flung it at her face and Maria backed away to clear her vision.
Liam tackled Shay before he could smirk, and the two wrestled in a snowbank. Once vision was returned to Maria, she joined. Shay and Liam rolled into a standing position and were standing in front of one another. Maria ran, leapt, and used her shoulder to plow into Shay. Liam caught her by the waist before she could fall, and Shay, covered in snow, stared up at his laughing friends, giving high fives at their success.
Arno and Phillip were behind trees shooting each other, and whoever passed, with their nerf guns. Arno got Gerard in the face, but Gerard thought it was Phillip and took after him. “Gerard!” Phillip’s cries resounded the backyard. “Why would I hit you?”
Gerard paused, and eyed the tree Arno was hiding behind. “He went for the face, Gerard!” Arno snickered, calling from the tree he’d claimed as his outpost. Elise had joined him.
“The most sacred tenant is broken!” She called and Phillip, running past from Gerard, hurled a shelf of snow at them.
“Stop inciting riots!” He said, and swore to get back at Arno.
Aveline was in a fort with Desmond when Malik joined and she readied a snowball. But before he could receive it, Malik handed her the bow. “Merry Christmas, friend.” He said, and disappeared, leaving her spluttering.
“That Malik,” Desmond commented with a shake of his head. “What a guy.” He peeked over the fort and threw a snowball. Getting Yusuf at the back, Desmond hid behind the snow and laughed. Peeking out again, snickering at Yusuf’s confused face, Desmond threw another. Yusuf spun around, undoing his blades, and made a circle.
“Claudia?!” He called, “Ezio?!”
When his back was to Desmond, he threw another and ducked again. Aveline muffled her laughter in her sleeves, but Desmond couldn’t. Laughing, he looked over the fort wall once again, and found Yusuf was gone.
“Damn it!” Aveline hissed, her eyes darting side to side.
“He’s not by Liam,” Desmond observed, “not with the Kenways either.”
“Did you check behind you?” Yusuf asked, and the pair spun around. Aveline docked an arrow to her bow and shot a snowball destined for her. Desmond was not so lucky. But hey! The hood was awfully warm and took most of the impact. Yusuf danced off before they could retort.
Haytham and Ziio were behind a tree, Ziio peering around to glare at her son before ducking from the snowballs. “Leave me, dear.” Haytham sighed, “It’s me they want.”
“First, I’m not leaving you. Second, I’m not letting Ratonhkhake:ton best me. God! If only I had,” She eyed the branch above them, and smiled as a plan formulated. “Haytham, can you reach that?” Haytham reached his arm up and grabbed hold of the branch. Ziio instructed he bring it down, and piled it with snow.
Connor, Edward, and Adewale were waiting with bated breath and mischevious grins for Haytham’s hat to appear on the other side of the trees when they heard a whip. Snow, a blanket that filled the air white, was heading straight for them. Edward leapt in front of Connor, screaming, “No! Ratonhnhake:ton, no!” before hitting the earth. Snow hit Adewale’s face and got into his clothes, leaving him speachless from cold.
“How bad is it?” Edward croaked, throwing a hand over his forehead. Connor knelt in the snow beside him, and lowered his hood.
“You did not have to.”
Edward took his hand. “Of course I did.”
Connor smiled a sad smile. Then, Edward closed his eyes, his lips moving. “I can not hear you, Grandfather.” Connor frowned, leaning in.
“I said, I’m leaving you.”
“Please, do not, Grandfather.”
“I must, dear boy.” Edward coughed.
“Please, do not leave me.”
“I will always be with you. For now I must go, because....” He coughed and Connor leaned in closer. “It’s fucking cold as hell, and I’ve got snow in my under trousers.” Connor rolled his eyes and helped Edward up. He pat Connor’s back. “Avenge me, grandson. Also, do you take marshmellows in your hot chocolate?” Connor nodded, “There’s a good lad.” Then Edward went inside.
“Dramatic Kenways!” Malik called, and fought off Kassandra who was trying to steal Altair’s Santa hat. He wanted to wear it!
Evie and Henry were mid battle with Jacob and Alexios. “Freaking Kenways!” Jacob yelled from the other side of the backyard before Henry threw a snowball at him and caught him in the face. “Greenie! What the hell? I thought we were in this together?”
“I’m not a Frye, Jacob!”
“Yes, you are!”
Evie interjected, still fighting Alexios. “Jacob! I took his name! Remember? You were at the wedding!”
Jacob rolled past Henry’s guard and clipped him between the shoulders. Training with Elise and Alexios had really improved his swordsmanship, and he looked betrayed. “I thought there was one fake Frye in this backyard. Turns out there’s two.”
“Do you take French Fryes?” Demetri called, leaping over Malik’s shoulders and landing in a somersault bringing their duel to a halt as he ran through. Claudia and Desmond were hot on his trail.
Ziio and Haytham were still high fiving, celebrating their victory. Connor shook his head and threw on his hood. Haytham grinned, and Ziio formed a ‘L’ with her thumb and finger. “It seems I have lost both parents in this battle.” Connor glared, and his mother dropped her smile.
“What was that, Ratonhnhake:ton?”
Connor’s heart fell and he put his hands up. “Mother, I was joking. It was a joke.” Ziio emerged from the trees, and Adewale backed away.
Connor looked between Adewale and Haytham. “Ziio, maybe we should-” But she shot him such a look, Connor understood why he closed his mouth. Connor bolted. Aya, who was wrestling Bayek for his fort, saw this and took after with Ziio. Aveline joined them, always did love beating up on Connor.
“Greenie! After all we’ve been through?” Jacob sparred Henry, but Evie ducked under his arm and came to stop the blow. “Evie!”
Evie circled his sword, causing him to almost drop it, but Alexios took his boyfriend behind him and battled both. “Got your back, baby.”
“I’m both embarrassed and turned on.” Jacob grinned, and Henry dropped his sword.
“Hand to hand?” He offered, and Jacob tossed his sword, readying his fists.
“This I can do. Love ya, Greenie!”
“Arno, you bastardo!” Ezio yelled, tossing snow over his shoulder but without a good eye on his target, it was just for show.
“Mon ami, admit you were wrong!” Arno yelled back.
“You overseasoned! I will not lie to aid your delusions!” Foam bullets pelted the tree. “Stop hiding, coward! Face me!” Ezio called over his shoulder. Arno was pinning him against the far side of the backyard, and if he didn’t break from this then he’d be taken out by Yusuf and Kassandra who rolling tree to tree and getting closer.
A rustling at his side made him jump, and Maria landed beside him. “Which one do you want?”
“Yusuf.”
“They’ll be expecting you to take him, so I’ll rush Yusuf first, then switch to the Spartan.”
“All well, Maria, but how are we going to get past their shooter?”
Maria smirked then formed a gun with her fingers, and blew on it. “I’ve got shooters of my own.” As if on cue, the shooting stopped as Arno was contending with Phillip. Demetri, you see, had been creating the pretense that he was Phillip poorly shooting at Arno while the real Phillip sneaked to Arno’s side and was now exacting his revenge on him. They didn’t call him the Shadow for nothing. Phillip truly was a ghost, his ability to disappear made him a great asset.
Confused over the sudden stop of their cover, Yusuf and Kassandra readied themselves for anything. Maria and Ezio charged.
Desmond, Claudia, and Elise were fighting Liam, Shay, and Bayek. “Keep you stance open, Desmond.” Bayek coached, and Desmond did as instructed.
“You’re on our side!” Shay tossed snow in the air as a cover for Liam, who ran through and landed in between Elise and Claudia. Not taken by surprise, Claudia circled around him and placed herself between him and Elise. With a swift kick, she pushed him to his side. Elise rolled over her back and landed with a kick of snow, blinding him.
“I’m on everyone’s side!” Bayek laughed, dueling Desmond who jumped and spun, catching him on the forearms. Bayek pushed him back, and congratulated him. “Beautifully done, Desmond. Keep your back low when you land. Don’t want to become a target yourself.”
“Thanks, Bayek.” Desmond smiled.
“Who wants to trade for Bayek? Connor? Altair? Anyone!” Shay called to anyone who would listen. He was trying to get to Liam, but Claudia and Elise were keeping him at bay.
“It’s only a game, Shay.”
“Don’t say that too loudly.” Aya leapt into Bayek’s arms, and he dropped his sword to spin her around. It landed with a tiny crunch in the snow.
“Ready to go inside?” He carried her easily, and she rolled from his hold. “I find myself longing for hot chocolate by the fireplace.”
“After this one battle, promise.” Leaving him with a kiss on his cheek, Bayek fondly watched her run off. “She always says that.” He said dreamily.
Desmond clapped his back. “I wouldn’t mind heading in myself.”
“Would you like me to carry you?” Desmond thought about it a moment, and then nodded. Scooping him up, they went inside.
“What’s wrong with Desmond? Is he hurt?” Altair cried, kicking back Alexios.
“Desmond’s hurt?” Ezio sparred Kassandra, ignoring the snow pelting him.
“He’s just being funny.” Maria sighed, stopping her duel against Yusuf to adjust Altair’s Santa hat. Ezio and Altair nodded, but kept a sharp eye on Desmond.
Tried of his antics, Claudia fell Shay by lowering herself in the snow and kicking a leg at his shin. Liam, seeing his fellow fighters were ended, accepted the snowball to the face.
The battle raged until their fingers, toes, ears, and noses were pink, cold, and running. Edward had hot chocolate ready when they came inside. Connor threw a blanket over his parents, nestling in with his father on one side and Aveline on the other. Aya sat beside Ziio and showed her how to care for her new hidden blades. Elise, Aveline, and Phillip were laughing and giggling, their conversation flowing from English to French and back again. Demetri sat gazing at Aveline. Arno and Ezio were with Desmond, under their own blanket, going back and front on sports. Jacob and Alexios with Altair and Maria were taking pictures under the mistletoe, interchanging couples and striking silly poses. Alexios lifted Altair, and Altair threw a hand to his forehead, swooning. Seeing this, Adewale and Yusuf joined them. He lifted Yusuf in the same manner.
Henry gave a cup to Malik, deep in conversation of the Creed with Evie and Shay. Liam was congratulating Kassandra and Claudia in battle, then asked for lessons. The sun had fallen and their spirits were never higher. It was a wonderful Christmas indeed.