Night Light
Summary: He’s in your head, but you’re in his heart
Pairing: Demon!Tom Holland x Reader
Warnings: Sleep paralysis, panic attack, blood, mentions of inflicted pain, swearing
A/N: Kind of based off of Murder House and a previous AU I wrote
He was always there, watching and waiting for when you were most vulnerable. No name, just an apparition that stood over your bed night after night.
When you were little, you thought it was a sibling or parent just watching, staring, waiting. Never an answer. Silence with wide eyes. Then vanished. It took a few separate occasions to realize that wasn’t family, it was worse. You’d never been harmed, just mentally scarred. Every shadow in the daylight was a playground for panic attacks, and it was murderous.
He knew it too.
While you got ready for bed, taking a few melatonin to hopefully avoid the next meeting, Tom watched. Behind the shower curtain, near the towels in the corner, in your shadow, he took notes. Shaky hands. You forgot to take a puff of your inhaler this time. Wearing socks to bed? Gross. Since when did you do that?
You rolled into bed, grasping at your weighted blanket and spraying lavender around the spread. He watched as you put your eye mask on, knowing it’d fall off after the first hour of drifting. You looked at every corner of the room, checked the night light and lamp before trusting instinct and rolling over.
Tom wished he could tuck the hair in your mouth behind your ears. Instead, he waited. Watching your chest rise, stutter, and fall once again. Occasional snore, spasm, or squeak. He looked at the clock. Showtime.
The lights in the room cut. You rolled to your right side, left again, then on your back. Planted. Chained down to the bed. Like always. Tom ghosted his fingertips along your covered body, wishing he could press kisses to your head instead of nightmares, but whatever made you see him was good enough.
You jerked awake, knowing what was going to happen. Keeping your eyes pressed shut, you started counting to ten, praying to a different god every time you would gain mobility once again.
1...2...3...4...
“(Y/N)”
This is just your paralysis playing with you, keep going. 4...5...6...
“Open your eyes for me, angel.”
Fuck off. 6...7...8...9
“Counting won’t help. Only I can. Look.”
You opened your eyes. The lights slowly flickered on, one at a time. You saw him fully. He looked with caution. Clenched fists and a tight jaw with gentle eyes. Tearful eyes. “Hello, gorgeous.”
He became blurry with salty tears, falling down your face. Even though you tried talking, only whimpers came out. “I know, shh. This is awful I’m so sorry. This is the only way I get to see you. I’m breaking so many rules for doing this, shit. But, this has been going on for too long. I can’t sit silent anymore, right?”
Tom looked down at you, watching you have a silent panic attack in bed. You couldn’t move, talk, do anything other than weep. He sighed heavy. “Please calm down, I don’t have much time. We were meant for each other, I’ve watched you grow from the moment you were born. You are my destiny and I was sent to keep you safe until we can be together.”
You started crying harder, struggling against the invisible bonds holding you down. “It’s okay, we can talk later. Please don’t be scared of me anymore, you are safe under my watch.”
A blink later, he was gone. You whipped to sit up, grasping at your chest for air. Wheezing, stuttering, frantically looking for any trace of this really happening. Nothing except a panic attack.
After that singular night, daily occurrences happened slowly but surely. Your songs would shuffle to one’s you’d never heard of. Computer tabs with little words and quotes on them showed up. That’s how you learned his name. And death in your house.
Coping was hard, knowing someone was over your shoulder every waking moment. Changing and showers became nerve-wracking, yet he promised he never looked, only when you turned 18. Then that was an occasional thing, to make sure you weren’t hurting yourself.
Tom watched as you slowly stopped doing common tasks. You stopped the melatonin, no more sleep masks or weighted blankets and lavender, he hated that smell. As you woke up night after night, you grew less anxious and more happy to see him. While you couldn’t talk, he could see a small smile forcing a way onto your face.
He fell in love with your pain.
Tom somehow found ways to communicate before you got stuck. You used Google to type questions, wrote them on paper and left them on your nightstand, and even scribbled them in the fog of your showers. Those were your favorite, he would write back, too. Tom has lovely cursive.
Yet, with every conversation and lingering thought, it made you go insane. Instead of fearing the shadows, you waited for them. You sat in the dark, kept searching his name and information, thought of ways to actually feel him. He could only keep you trapped for long before you wanted release.
You needed his pleasure.
It was snowing white while driving down a backroad, the radio was buzzing with static. You believed the electricity would help Tom communicate, and if you focused hard enough it would. Last night was your longest conversation yet. With the snow falling and the lack of sleep taking your mind, it didn’t take long to forget you were driving.
Tom tried to jerk the wheel. He reached over, but his hands slipped through as you flew forward.
You saw red. It was dripping down your face, into your lashes, and coated your tongue with bitter copper. Blinking was hard, your eyes couldn’t open. Tom sat in panic, screaming your name. It was daytime.
You heard him in the sun through the snow and blood. Somehow you turned on the airbag, looking at the crumpled passenger seat, listening to his wails. You smiled while he cried. “You’re okay, stay awake, please! I can’t lose you like this! Please...”
You jerked awake, knowing what was going to happen. Keeping your eyes pressed shut, you started counting to ten, praying to a different god every time you would gain mobility once again.
1...2...3...4...
“(Y/N)”
You opened your eyes, looking around for Tom. “I told you I’d keep you safe.”