#demon? maybe

[coffeeeldritch]

Mars got a new look and that man be vibin

[someone-called-efg]

before this happens again i decided to draw what i saw and experienced a little over a month ago so incase anyone has anything similar theyre not alone at least, and if its some kinda 'only me' thing, than at least it's documented.

i dont really know what kinda tw to put for this, but assume anything given its about a near death experience

so, back just before valentine's day, a demon somehow ended up in my bedroom. me, wanting to prove im not a coward, did exactly that, and firmly declared my beliefs in the being who created all (for the sake of the post im gonna call said entity god) and its not a lie, even from a young age ive been a strong believer even to the point of getting in trouble for it (i.e. getting in trouble for calling out hypocrisy and trying to do something about it despite being the only one to try) and while my faith has had a lapse when i was a teen, it since got resparked. so, adamantly that the idea of having no faith seems bazar to me.

so, all this to say, when the demon was in my room, it knew i wouldnt give up my faith.

however, one thing ive said on occasion to family is that i dont fear death, and thats still true to an extent. sure, ive had near death experiences before, but ive always been of the opinion that as long as youre right with god than you have no reason to fear dying. and imo that just means not being an asshole.

so, the demon found out i genuinely dont have any fear of death or dying and decided to try to call a bluff that wasnt even there. so, with all its might, it killed me

this is roughly what i believe it looked like, as it gave off this sense of dread i ccouldnt really shake off when in its presence. (yes, the stick figure is meant to be me for size comparison) everything else beside the thousands of mouths was a void. the mouths glowed an inviting white, but as you see, when i got closer, it lead to a void like pit that was its true mouth, rows upon rows of pointed teeth jutting to the center that only got darker and darker the closer i looked.

then, something happened in my mind that even i cant put into words, because quite frankly, even i dont understand what happened in between everything

then everything went from being in a dark void, to this

an angel came and was so bright i only know its this kind because how many eyes were there. i had to convince the angel that i would be able to cope with being alive after that day, and i was allowed to come back on account that i see a priest and a therapist. (and something i thought was strange to mention that: if you bleed on something, you yourself have to burn it) another part of the agreement was that i post on my socials about the encounter, and while i had done that previously, i figured making as comprehensible of a post as possible now that ive had a bit of time to process it all would be a good idea

so as you can all tell, this it getting very triggering for me.

the week or so that followed that night could be comparable to a personal hell, as any time i wasnt around any human, i would be tormented by the demon in ways that i cant even mention out of fear of t.o.s. as they tried as much as possible to keep me in my room as if to keep me hostage

until one day when i broke down to my mom

she got me holy water from the church and i proceeded to sprinkle it all over while praying as best i could

but since that night ive felt like the worst hypocrite of them all. since i was little i had wished to die, in fact, as a child i had no intention of making it to my double digits, and yet, here i am. and when i was nearly out the door, for some reason i decided to stay.

anyways, even though i went around with holy water and prayer, my bedroom hasnt felt safe, and ive been sleeping in the living room since. because being without privacy means no personal hell. so i see it as a win in my books.

throughout all this, ive seen my faith as this small campfire, and any attack against my faith as gusts of wind that i keep having to protect the flame from so it doesn't get blown out.

[tunnelsnakesrool]

I had a strange dream and i cant stop thinking about it

I had a dream where i was walking in a home i never knew of. I looked into the room to my right in the hallway and three people are sitting at the end of a bed, bowing over the end at the feet of someone laying in the bed. I peer in closer and see the person in bed is a faceless woman. When i blink the three people are now suddenly looking at me. Their skin is a dead grey and their eyes are a eerie yellow. No emotion. I blink again and now they are jolting towards me. I leap into a nearby closet and hold the door shut with all my strange as they slam themselves into it. Suddenly through the slight crevice of the door black smoke seeps through. The smoke starts to have a form. Its like... Tendrils? The tendrils grab the sides of my mouth and force it open. It starts going towards every other opening to my body it can find. It forces its way inside me. It feels freezing cold and scalding hot at the same time. I feel like im choking. Suffocating. My body feel like its going to burst. I feel like im dying. Then i wake up.

This happened days ago and i still cant stop thinking about it. If i think too deeply about it i can feel the feeling of it again. Im concerned fam.